Half a Fool
by The Swordslinger
Summary: Warning: Pilot!Naruto. Being the son of a purely evil demon is no excuse to be a spoiled brat, or so Naruto Uzumaki hears from the chief. As punishment for his actions he is sent to the human world to make friends and go to school. The issue is that his chief chose perhaps the most dangerous place for a kitsune to be at, Nerima. He may as well have some fun there, though.
1. Chapter 1

I OWN NOTHING

Being the greatly regarded human being that I am, I make mistakes, and I will rip off the testicles/ovaries of anyone who disagrees.

**XXXXXX**

WARNING: This is the Naruto from the pilot manga, in which he's a kitsune born from a truly demonic monster and is forced to go to the human world to make friends. That's the concept behind this fic. And I'll try to keep the bashing low considering some characters have redeeming qualities.

Main pairing – Shampoo with Naruto. This will take some time to get there, but I hope you can enjoy Naruto's interactions as he gets in trouble with the rest of Nerima. I may go the harem route, but trust me when I say that will take time, I don't want to make the girls fall for Naruto in the blink of an eye. There's a charm in him getting to know them rather than having them just fall for him.

If you got anything against it then please at least give constructive criticism or tips in how you'd think it'd work, or just leave politely. Should I disagree with some opinions, well, remember I am a human with different opinions and that I just want to have fun writing a story, not bending backwards to please everyone, a mistake I keep making and regretting.

Half the cunning

"Old fart! What're you doing?!"

"What I should've done years ago for your own good, Naruto."

In the middle of a large room two figures glared at each other, one in chains and the other sitting due to his old back. The first one was a teenage boy of sixteen with blond messy hair in a mop of spikes resembling a fox's mane, whiskered cheeks, cerulean eyes, and a tanned skin. He was lean but strong, had on an angry scowl on his foxy face, and glared hard at the old man in a robe before him. The old man looked like an old monkey, had four marks on his forehead shaped like flames, a white robe, spiky white hair that was starting to fall off, and a scowl on his face at the kid's attitude.

"No, you can't! Are you out of your mind?!" the boy, Naruto, shouted at the man.

The elder stared him down, "Naruto, you need to learn to be more than your father's son-"

The boy cried for dear life, "I'm not human, I get it, but-"

The old man put his hands in a sign, aiming them at the boy, "You're going and that's final!"

And the kid's last cry was of: "YOU OLD FAAAAAAAAAART! I don't want to go to schooooooool!"

XXXXXX

_If you want the summary, here it is: I am Naruto Uzumaki, I like ramen, hate a lot of humans, and I dislike the old chief for what he's done to me. The old fart, Sarutobi, took pity on me when I was born. My father was a demon, the worst kind. He was a nine-tailed fox, and it took old fart Sarutobi and his eight friends' lives to take care of him. But I was nothing but a newborn kit with no mother in sight. He took me in, and you can guess being the son of a powerful demon isn't going to earn myself friends… stupid humans… It was my father's fault people died, not mine…_

_Ugh, sorry… It really ticks me off. My father… he was a real monster. Sarutobi doesn't want me to end like him, alone and filled with useless hatred. Thus he kicked me out to the human world with one mission: spend life like a human at a human school with humans… Do you see why I want to get out of this mess?! And what's worse, the old fart doesn't want me to fight! He said something like, "Naruto, fighting humans will not bring your friends and I'm a stinking turd…" Ok… That last part may have been my imagination… Maybe, perhaps, who knows?_

_Listen, the deal is, I am a demon. I have magical powers that allow me to transform into anything I imagine like the kitsune/fox-spirit I am, and I can even turn into a nine-tailed beast. And the old fart wants me to go to school… Ugh, just the word school gives me a headache._

_But I'd be lying if I said being in a new place away from people who know me as my father's son doesn't sound good… But… school? Really?!_

XXXXXX

With a thud, the boy fell from the sky, face first into a soft grassy field. He groaned, holding his face with one hand before taking his surroundings. He was in a Japanese human city, filled with life and the smell of humans. His nose flared at a familiar smell and turned to a paper bag before him.

Quickly running to it because of the smell, the blond pulled out its contents to reveal some clothes, a paper with an address, an envelope with money, and a note that read as follows: _Dear Naruto, I will pay for all your expenses and give you a proper allowance so you may settle for these three years in the human world learning from them on how to make friends and stop being a spoiled brat-_ And that's as far as the letter went before the blond tore it to pieces.

"Old bastard, it's like he enjoys insulting me from afar…" He looked through the bag some more to find an address to an apartment with a key and even a map.

And there was some writing which read as follows: _Since I know you must have destroyed the letter by now_ – the idea of the old man being this good at knowing the kid's train of thought unnerved the boy – _I will lay the rules here: you are only allowed to fight to defend yourself and others. If you break this one rule, then I will be forced to give you a worse punishment than sending you to school._

The blond gulped, "Damn geezer, he's always scary." He mumbled before pulling up his uniform to look and grin at it, "But these are some nice duds for a school. Not bad, old fart."

A few moments later, the people of the large Japanese city the fox demon had been kicked into looked at the sight of the boy in his school's uniform. What looked like normal clothes for them, the blond saw something had to be done to make them over the top. He had the typical Japanese school uniform: a black jacket, matching dress pants, brown dress shoes, and a belt. Naruto discarded the white button up shirt, thinking of it as a pajama of sorts, and beneath his unbuttoned jacket he showed a red top, and he had the jacket's sleeves rolled up just below his elbows.

In short, he looked like a punk. His spiky hairdo and non-Japanese traits also made him look like a Yankee, a term used not when referring to baseball or regions in the USA but to delinquents with bleached hair in Japan that moved around in gangs. Others would call him a gaijin, a foreigner, but that term could be either a neutral term or an insult.

To make it simple, what quickly stood out was that he was not normal.

Nonetheless, he arrived to his destination: "Furinkan, huh?" Naruto asked as he walked into the large Japanese high school, a school suitcase in hand. It had a bit of everything: pool, gym, any kind of sports field, labs, and several large classrooms. It even had a large clock on top to tell people the hour. And while the blond wanted to take that in, he also noticed something odd.

Just as he set foot on the school grounds he was met with a welcoming committee of three football players, a baseball player with a bat, two fencers, four boxers, and a tennis player. They were all boys, except the tennis player who was clearly female unless pigtails were now a boy thing. They all rushed at Naruto with their shoulders, bats, rapiers, gloved fists and a tennis ball aimed at his face.

But the attack never connected, in fact all of them stopped just before they could hit him, though the tennis ball did zip past over the golden locks of the kitsune. They started to retreat while Naruto remained frozen where he was, unable to comprehend what just happened, until they turned around.

"Wait, what the shit?!" he shouted, aiming an accusatory finger at his would-have-been attackers, stopping them in their tracks with his furious shouts. "What gives?! I only set foot on this place and you already want to beat me up only to turn around?! What kind of sadistic panties-for-brains idiots are you?!"

They smartly ignored the fired up blond, leaving him to grind his teeth until someone replied, "Sorry, we mistook you for someone else." Naruto turned to see some guy appear from behind a tree, hidden from view. He had a samurai's outfit in dark blue, a wooden sword, and a cocky smile that quite frankly made his pretty boy face irk Naruto, along the guy's brown curly hair.

The kid's right eye trembled slightly at the mannerisms of this man, "What're you doing, and for that matter who the Hell are you to try to attack someone?"

The young man, most likely a sophomore or a senior, smiled charmingly at Naruto, leaving the blond unfazed, "I guess proper introductions are in order to see you achieve greatness at this school. After all, to be here, you certainly must desire to be a better person." Naruto saved his smart remarks for later, considering that his status of a demonic fox would make his new life way more troublesome than before if he revealed his true form to this many people.

"So, who're you already?" the blond asked, growing impatient.

But his possible senior ignored him like a pro, continuing, "I am Tatewaki Kuno, and the one man who shall claim Tendo Akane's heart. As the captain of the kendo club, it is my duty to…" and he went on speaking.

"And you're doing this by trying to beat someone's face in?" Naruto asked, "Man, whoever you're targeting must be a real asshole to that Akane girl…" he then hummed, "They also must be strong if you need this many humans." He added the last part low enough for him to listen to. '_The old fart said to fight only if it is to defend myself or protect others… Heh, this should be a fun fight to get some anger out!_'

Kuno kept on rambling, but whatever he was saying was ignored by Naruto, and the kendo captain took notice of it, "Are you listening to me, freshman? What's your name?"

"Uzumaki Naruto," the blond said without missing a beat, "and I think I'll head for classes now." In reality he was plotting how to leap at whoever these guys were targeting, after all, his chief said to fight those wanting to hurt others and he'd abuse that loophole like a lawyer would.

He was about to walk off, but two sumo wrestlers slipped behind him and grabbed him by his arms. "I'm afraid I need to ask you a few things. For example, how dare you ignore my speeches when I am explaining to you the rules of this school?" he gave off another charming smile that irked Naruto. However, the kitsune was trapped in the arms of sumo wrestlers and no fight had started, he was going to be forced to listen to a speech, not fight for his dear life. Even so, he felt like he may die, of boredom.

With a tired groan, the blond replied, "Can't we save it for later? I'm going to get my ass chewed by an annoyingly brutal geezer if I don't get to classes soon."

But Kuno still ignored him, "Now, as I was saying. As your senior, it is my duty to-"

And then the tennis girl rushed in with a look of worry on her face, "Sir, Akane-san is coming! We all need to get into position!"

Kuno nodded stoically, "Everyone, battle stations! Prepare yourselves to greet our school's greatest beauty!"

The sumo wrestlers dropped the blond unceremoniously on his ass, and he saw each and every student take a battle stance. In his brain, deep in the darkest chambers of his mind, was a fat hamster running on a wheel. Unfortunately for the hamster, the wheel was rusty, old, and the small creature's weight caused it to snap off.

"Wait, you guys want to fight the girl this idiot has a crush on?!" he asked, his thumb hooked to Kuno, perfectly hidden from view behind a tree.

The tennis girl growled, "No, we're not! We're here to get a chance at taking Akane-san out on a date by defeating her in battle."

"Same difference! And… you all have to fight her as one to get a chance?" In Naruto's head, the hamster had gotten its brothers and nephews to help it replace the wheel with a new one and watched its two most energetic nephews run at full speed. "Man, this Akane girl is a monster if all of you are needed to beat her, and you guys are freaking insane." Also, the new hamsters had drunk some coffee, "Wait, so you…"

"I like girls, yes!" the tennis girl growled, albeit louder.

Naruto immediately replied to that with a thumb up and a drop of blood threatening to slip down his right nostril, "I'll cheer for you."

Once that was said, the students all disappeared from view, leaving only Naruto alone in the middle of the schoolyard, blinking at how fast the students were for humans. Then in came a girl with mid-back length black hair, a tomboyish appearance, and a sailor uniform. She did look cute, but in all honesty Naruto wanted to know why the Hell would humans, even a girl who had settled for the other side of the fence quite nicely, would fight for just one girl.

He would've wanted to ask himself that, but the tomboy was rushing at him with her fist reared back, "And down you go!" she shouted.

Naruto turned left, then right, and then finally saw he was the only student there, "Wait, am I some bait?!" he asked in shock.

Kuno, behind the tree he was in, chuckled to himself, "This shall teach you, freshman, to never underestimate the beauty of Akane's-"

Silence engulfed the entire school when Naruto tilted his head to the side, easily avoiding the girl's, now identified as Akane, punch. Said raven haired lass didn't stop and brought up her leg for a kick, which Naruto replied to by jumping over it, flipping in the air over her head before landing on all fours like the fox he was.

He growled at her, baring his teeth, "Hey, what's the big idea?!" he shouted, knowing that he was being attacked and that he could fight, but this looked like some bad joke.

Akane raced at him for a hook, "Don't play dumb with me, you're another one in this weird contest! Why else would you be here?"

Naruto evaded the punch by side-stepping and temptingly reaching for his jacket towards a scroll, "Trust me, I can't fight you even if I wanted to."

Akane stopped, "That's… a first." She admitted, her face taking on a softer look.

"I want no trouble, or else I will get in trouble." The blond admitted with a groan.

His words sank in the moment more cries joined the yard, "Akane-chan, please date me!" one football player shouted, rushing at the girl to tackle her. Naruto watched in a quarter of horror, another quarter of surprise, and a half of plain disbelief how the girl punched the player so hard that she broke his helmet, rendering him unable to fight as his back hit the ground.

A lonely leaf flew in the wind before Naruto while the football player landed hard on the ground. Making a snap decision, the blond grabbed it and pressed it on his forehead, focusing himself and his energy on it.

Akane turned her attention to the blond that looked like a delinquent, only to find him gone, "Where is he?" she asked, looking around for any signs of Naruto. "I guess he really didn't want to fight… Odd…" she was honestly confused, "Normally this'd be the time anyone fighting me tries to get a cheap shot at me." She sighed, backhanding a soccer player over her shoulder to stop a kick to her side. "Well, at least I won't have to fight him. That's a nice change."

Little did she know, there was a golden furred little dog, a Pomeranian wagging its tail happily at her side, but said dog's tail wasn't that of its race, but that of a fox. Inwardly, the Pomeranian-Naruto sighed in relief, '_Whew, even if she attacked me out of the blue, the old fart would want more than that to justify me fighting a female human. I think that's what humans call chivalry._' The disguised kitsune then saw Akane's skirt flow in the wind, and a devilish grin, or the closest to a grin his now canine muzzle would allow him to achieve, spread on his face.

"Yip! Yip!" Naruto yipped in his Pomeranian form, and bit on Akane's skirt.

Said girl yelped when she saw the little doggy wagging its fox tail happily while biting on her skirt, its fangs ripping it right where it was biting, but with the way it was pulling Akane got alarmed real quick, "Wait, puppy! Please, don't!" and with a strong yank and a chuckle, Naruto ripped off Akane's skirt, creating a slit that showed her legs and made the males blush.

With a loud, embarrassed "KYAH!" Akane attacked the nearest student, punching through a baseball bat into a poor lad's face, to get his eyes off her panties.

"Arf!" the disguised mutt said, its tail wagging happily while it panted in amusement, '_Plain white panties, not bad… And hoh…_' the tennis girl was next, showing something that made Naruto's tail wag more, '_Is that a red thong?! Nice!_' the little fake dog barked happily, distracting Akane just as she backhanded a fencer to get him away from her panties.

The tennis girl yelled, "Akane-san, I know you may not be into girls, but at least accept my feelings with my effort!" she threw a ball in the air, pulled out her racket, and with a solid and loud smack the ball sailed at Akane. But the tomboy and hidden Kuno could see that the yellow bouncing sphere wouldn't land a direct hit on the girl. The poor tennis girl watched another missing shot sail past her target, just when she tried to hit Naruto the moment said blond arrived.

Good thing that a little golden mutt kept his word, "Arf! Arf!" the fake dog barked and jumped in the air, smashing its tiny forehead on the ball and sending it at Akane. The tomboy stumbled back from the strike, nursing a sore forehead but still standing up.

The tennis girl saw her chance and dashed at the tomboy, "Thanks, puppy!" she said to the fake Pomeranian, raising her racket once again.

Racket met a solid object in its path, but it wasn't Akane's head. Said tomboy gasped when recovering her consciousness and looking at Kuno's back, "Attacking a defenseless Akane-san? What a shameful act on your part, don't you think?"

The tennis girl was shocked beyond belief, "B-But the deal was to-" and she didn't get to say anything else before her racket was broken in two by Kuno's wooden sword.

"I believe that the saying goes that in love and war all is fair…" he then turned to Akane, "Besides, now that the loud freshman is out and no longer bothering Akane-san, this is my chance." Kuno turned around to swing his wooden sword at the girl, but he missed, by a long shot.

The little puppy growled, '_How do you like this now?_' he asked in his head while clutching the swordsman's weapon in his fangs, before snapping it off with a strong bite.

"What the-?!" Kuno shouted, stepping back away from the golden dog.

As a blur of speed, Naruto was right in front of the swordsman, teeth firmly clutching Kuno's pants. Said boy tried to get away from the fox-tailed mutt, but the canine was stronger than he looked, far stronger. It was with an echoing ripping sound that Kuno noticed the gentle breeze of the morning hitting his nether regions. His pants were on the ground, ripped to shreds by a powerful yank from the disguised dog.

"K-Kyyyyaaaah!" the sound of the tennis girl and Akane's voice echoed in the entire school while Kuno tried to cover his lower regions.

Before he could do that, the two girls reacted on instinct, with the pigtailed tennis girl raising her foot along Akane. The tomboy's foot went directly to Kuno's groin, and even the kitsune sucked in a gasp of pained air when the kendo captain's face changed colors. The tennis girl's shoe went right to Kuno's backside, and her shoe entered the crack, putting a lot of pressure on the ring of muscle hidden between his cheeks.

It was hard to tell what one could call the guy's face, but it certainly was not a pleasant feeling that it had when hitting the ground.

Naruto saw another leaf and raced to it, slapping his forehead on the green piece of vegetation. With another cloud of smoke he was no longer a Pomeranian, but a golden canary with tail-feathers that oddly enough resembled a fox's tail. It still managed to fly away to a new perch on top of a tree to see Akane step away from the tennis girl.

The tomboys hands were up in loose fists, and her eyes set in a glare against anyone foolish enough to keep on fighting her, "Who is next?" she asked, though with red on her face after the sight she wanted to forget.

The tennis girl stepped back, "I… I give up…" she said with her head lowered in defeat.

Akane sighed, "Good, perhaps I can finally get to my classes on time."

The tiny canary tilted its head to the side, just hearing what she said, '_Oh yeah, I got to get to class… Ugh… Damn it, old fart, I want to be free and wreck some Hell! I'm not the kind to sit around and listen to someone giving boring speeches… You should know, damn geezer!_'

Without any other word or thought, the kitsune flew to an open window in which he changed back to his human form. How he wished to evade his responsibilities and classes, but it was either that or…

"If I don't do this, old man Sarutobi will have me doing community service for free without paying for any of my expenses." He sighed in a defeated manner, "Oh well, how bad can it be?"

On a doorway, a figure smiled slyly, "Oh, it can be very bad…"

XXXXXX

"Hey, did you hear about the new student?"

"He stopped Akane-san's punch bare-handed, how could I not?!"

"No way. Do you think he may be even stronger than Kuno-san?"

"Idiot, the only one that strong is Akane-san!"

"But someone stopped her punch without flinching!"

"It must have been some trick. I mean, he ran off, right?"

"Yeah… The guy must have begged Akane-san for mercy."

"She must have pitied him. I mean, she let go that weirdo from the tennis team."

A female figure chuckled, halting the students' conversations with the sound of her melodious voice, "You're all so eager to talk about my little sister and the new student. Mind letting me in the conversation to dismiss the lies?" The students turned slowly to face a beautiful if cunning face, a nice figure above the average of a Japanese woman, and a brown bob-cut that spoke of doom.

"Nabiki-san!" one student cried, stepping away, "H-Hey, I paid my debt, you can't-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. However, should the need arise, I am all ears." The girl, Nabiki, cut the student with a wave before grinning at the others, "I want to gather more information on what you saw about the new student. Once that is done, your parents won't have to know what all of you do on weekends in your basements."

The teens gulped, but one pointed a finger, "He's there."

True enough, Naruto was walking around a hall outside of the classroom Nabiki was in, making a glint come to the girl's eyes. She skipped off after him, seeing the notorious mane of golden hair turn left and right, "Why's this place so damn big? Ah, who cares?" he rubbed the back of his head, "I'll just tell them I got lost, not like they'd get me in trouble."

Nabiki grinned, "I wouldn't say so." She alerted Naruto of her presence, which was all she needed, "I assume you're looking for your classroom. You wouldn't happen to be a freshman, would you? Don't tell me, you got lost without even know what classroom you were supposed to get in?"

Naruto growled, irritated by the fact the girl hit the mark, "What's your point?" he put his hands in his pants pockets, "Yes, I am lost. It's my own business. Go on, call me an idiot already for getting lost in this damn maze of a school. This place is huge."

She grinned, "Sounds like you're just trying to justify your little mistake."

Naruto cringed a bit at the cheerful, warm and more than likely fake smile she had when she said that, "Are you going to point out all my flaws like a cheap prosecutor or will you tell me where I can get my ass to?"

"Turn left." Nabiki cryptically said. Naruto did so, and had to slap his forehead when seeing where his class had been the whole time, "You may thank me later. Interacting with you so far has been more than… rewarding on its own." She ended with a sly smirk, "Just be sure not to fly out the window, little bird."

Naruto turned, "What're you talking about?" he asked, confused.

Nabiki blinked, "Your tricks, I saw them." She stated, approaching the boy, "I know what you can do. I saw your actions during the fight at the yard."

Naruto widened his eyes in realization, but not enough to call his expression one of dread or slight nervousness, "Oh, that…" he said before pulling out a fishcake roll, "You mean my jutsus?" he asked casually, putting the roll on his forehead spoke up, "I can change into a lot other stuff with them."

Nabiki stared blankly at him, "What?" she was… at a loss. Was there a better way to say it? That fact was too hard for her to swallow, '_What's with this guy? Doesn't he know that it's best not to show tricks like being able to turn into a bird in public? It appears that this boy has no sense of falsehood. How is that possible? I mean, what if the military found out and… Wait, he can do more?_' The girl had kept her poker face after managing to return her slightly widened eyes to normal.

And before she could even finish wrapping her head around that final thought, Naruto put his fingers in a cross sign, and he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. He left Nabiki to stare at herself, a perfect copy of her, even down to her three sizes. But, as Nabiki stepped back from the surprise, one thing showed who the original was and who wasn't. The second Nabiki had a golden fox tail sticking out of her skirt. All the while, Nabiki stared at her copy with wide eyes.

Naru-Nabiki turned to her tail with a growl, "Damn it, my tail's still showing!" he growled and returned back to normal with another cloud of smoke.

The real Nabiki had managed to, somehow with her years of expertise in how to break a human being's mind, calm down, "What're you?" she asked just like she hadn't seen a thing.

Naruto hummed, "Me? Oh… I'm the son of some bastard demon fox." He rubbed the back of his head, like what he just said was as casual as talking about the weather, "That's one way to say it, though." He then gave the girl a cocky grin, a thumb hooked to his face, "But if you want a better answer, I am Uzumaki Naruto!"

Nabiki grew quiet, '_How could anyone anticipate this? This is indeed a challenge. Someone with no falsehood… What're you, Naruto?_' she shook her head and nodded, "Then I bet you will have a nice, fun day." She said once back to her confidently smiling self, inwardly shaking off everything that she had seen. She needed a far better plan to deal with this boy. "Interesting powers he has there… Wonder what he can do with them?" Her grin widened at the possibilities.

Oh, he had thrown her off… But she was starting to see too many possibilities for the future.

But the moment she tried to head back to her classes, a loud righteous voice called out, "You!"

Naruto and Nabiki turned to see Kuno, his wooden sword aimed at the teen, "There have been rumors I have to prove as false, such as the ones saying you're strong enough to take Akane's hand."

The blond turned to Nabiki, "Um… Do you swing that way?" after today, he couldn't even question anything other than that. He knew humans were weird, but so far they weren't on the level of his ancient powerful chief.

Nabiki closed her eyes, a smirk of amusement playing on her lips, "No, and Akane is my sister. I think Kuno's talking to you."

"Me again?!" Naruto asked, turning to face Kuno once again with his teeth bared, showing rather sharp canines, "Hey, can we skip this talk, please?! I'm already lost as it is and I want to head to classes, so-"

Naruto didn't get to finish his sentence when his instincts kicked in. The blond flipped backwards to avoid the spare wooden sword Kuno got. He watched the blunt weapon hit a wall, and turn it into debris. His lips moved for him to whistle in mild amazement at the strength this human boy possessed. Nabiki registered that, for the blond to show mild amusement out of an attack that could have ripped his head said a lot out of him.

Kuno growled, "Don't try to run away! I, the Blue Lightning of Furinkan, shall conquer Akane-san's heart with my burning passion and-"

Naruto had landed on his feet and gotten into a squatting position, just like a typical banchou, a Japanese delinquent, with his right cheek resting on his hand, "Hey, are you trying to hit me?" the kid asked, sounding actually bored as he said that with his other hand's finger aimed at his face, "If you're only this strong, I'd be in trouble if I fought back."

Kuno decided to swing his sword, this time with a dashing strike that forced the wind out of the wooden weapon's way. Naruto saw this and his eyes narrowed. The blond got up and avoided the strike, only to backpedal when a powerful stab nearly hit its mark on his neck. Noticing his lack of balance, Naruto flipped backwards and did a hand-stand to do a backwards cartwheel in order to get the needed distance away from Kuno.

"You've seen nothing yet." Kuno stated, raising his sword once again.

Naruto grinned, "I wouldn't do that if I were you?" the blond said while pulling out a scroll and, to Kuno's surprise, biting it, "I've got some tricks up my sleeve." The kitsune said perfectly despite the scroll in his mouth.

Kuno raced at the blond, sword ready, and Naruto put his hands into a seal.

The swordsman swung his wooden weapon at the whiskered teen, and slammed his foot down on the ground as hard as he could.

The next thing Kuno knew was that his right foot had sunk into a hole on the ground, disguised by a mantle painted to look like an exact copy of the floor he had been on.

Listening to the swordsman's cries brought a smile on Naruto, "Told you." he put away his scroll, "You didn't think I could have used my trick the moment I evaded your last attack, did you? I may be forced to not fight you humans, but I'm a hell of a lot smarter than most of you guys when it comes to being a bastard." He waved at the dazed Kuno who laid flat on his back on the lower floor, "It was fun facing you, but I'm a master prankster!"

Nabiki watched Naruto's cocky, proud grin. She giggled, "Not bad, not bad at all…" she hummed, "Perhaps…"

She walked away, trapped in her own world.

Naruto for his part stood up and dusted himself, "Heh, if there are more guys like him willing to fight me, playing pranks on them should be a blast!" his grin was face-splitting, "I think I may like it here!"

XXXXXX

Five minutes later, Naruto was in the hall, carrying a bucket on each hand with a scowl on his face for being late to his classes, "I hate this place…"

**XXXXXX**

**And that's my rap!**

**If you're wondering about the tennis girl, she's there as a joke character considering how questionable Akane's sexuality can be if you think hard enough about it.**

**A friend's reasons to question what side of the fence Akane is on are "Because of how friendly she was to Ranko when they first met. And then how she got so disgusted and angry when she found out that Ranko turned into a boy. Her constant cries of pervert got a little suspicious after a while."**

**Don't worry, I am not going to make Akane into a lesbian. I was just showing a possibility for a few, admittedly, bad jokes. How fun would it have been if Akane were targeted by a girl? And don't answer that question, because I am sure a lot of Ranko/Akane shippers will be typing their answer.**

**Also, yes, there may be a harem, but don't expect things to go the usual route of all the girls falling for Naruto instantly. The entire Ranmaverse makes it a living Hell to try to be with a girl.**

**And I said there won't be bashing, but Kuno… he serves Ranma canon as a butt-monkey along Ranma and Ryoga, a target for jokes. I kind of have the opportunity to make fun of them. But don't worry, I won't be as cruel as with this chapter here. I'm a fanfic writer, not a sadist.**

**But, the bit I know some of you will talk about: is this Naruto too strong or too smart, or too Gary-Stuish? Well, this is the first chapter, and Kuno is kind of low-tier, meaning he's one of the weaker characters in Ranma. I mean, the first episodes of the anime has Ranma writing an insult on his forehead without the guy knowing, and it's said that Akane beats him on a daily basis, and Ranma barely acknowledges that Kuno may be a bit strong compared to what he does.**

**Trust me, when it comes to the more serious threats, and the more persistent enemies, Naruto WILL have a challenge. I mean, I can't just make him fart and beat Happosai like that.**

**Swordslinger out!**


	2. Chapter 2

I OWN NOTHING

To be perfectly honest, I learned that the best way to deal with people who hate you is to offer them large amounts of a cake called "Want to at least be friends?" which is followed by a knuckle sandwich if they say no.

**XXXXXX**

Half the bet

"Did you hear about the new student? Apparently he defeated Kuno with a single punch."

"No way, I heard he bought Kuno with pictures he took of Akane-san's panties."

Nabiki sighed to herself while the rumors flew around the school. True idiots surrounded her and the only challenge she had was an even bigger idiot with no sense of falsehood, an idiot that happened to be a demon fox. She'd have laughed, if she had a more self-pitying sense of humor, but she was considering what to do with someone with Naruto's powers.

A list like that included many possibilities for identity theft, extortion, espionage, blackmailing, and access to restricted areas with a single object slapped on the fox's forehead. One issue remained to be solved, and that was how to make the blond work for her. He had just shown he didn't want trouble, so she had to do research on that. He was smart enough to put traps mid-fight, but didn't look too bright when it came to society. He could have other traits up his sleeve.

Which is why when her teacher asked, "Any further questions for our mythology class?" she raised her hand eagerly.

"Sensei, what could you tell me about demon foxes?" she said with her ever charming poker smile.

Said teacher was a bit puzzled about the question but was glad someone asked something rather than pretend to pay attention or shrug off everything, "Well, kitsune are a kind which legends have varied. They are portrayed as tricksters looking for their own amusement with mischief or true malevolence. Some versions have the kitsune as evil spirits capable of possession. Other tales have them as lovers and, perhaps, the closest Japan will have to a succubus but with a happier ending."

Nabiki turned her head to the side, "What if the fox were male?"

"Well… odd question." The teacher admitted, "Female kitsune are known for being devoted wives, quite charming, but forced to leave if the husband were a human and found out their true form. But if it were a male fox… I can't tell for sure, I haven't heard of a tale like that unless the fox were a demon possessing or terrorizing someone. They do take other forms by putting a broad leaf or a skull on their foreheads."

"What about a fishcake roll?" she asked out of the blue.

The teacher blinked, "Um… never heard of such a thing, and I don't think it's possible given the tales."

"All right. What other powers do they have?"

The teacher was surprised someone was this energetic about his class, and also glad, so he replied, "The fox can possess someone, usually a woman, entering through their fingernails or breasts." He said bluntly, glaring at the students to dare them to laugh.

Nabiki subconsciously wrapped an arm around her chest, "How do you fight back?"

The teacher smiled, "Why, with holy objects, of course. Your typical holy objects that you can buy in shrines or temples should do. Or you could steal the fox's jewel, a star ball. It is supposed to be a jewel holding their power, but taking one from a fox means that it will be your enemy for all eternity if you don't return it. But if you do hand it back if they lost it, then they may be indebted to you."

Nabiki hummed, '_I didn't see any jewel on Naruto, so I may have to go to the nearest temple for advice…_' she could see he had some papers, keys, and what looked to be a map stuffed in his clothes, but no jewel or round object. And before you ask, she is a master scammer and an even better poker player, you don't want to mess with a girl who can tell what you ate three years ago just by looking at you.

"However…" the teacher started with a solemn tone, "Years ago, a study was made in a nearby mountain about sightings of a true kitsune, a powerful beast according to rumors. There was an investigation, but all that was found deep in the mountain was a crater that some geologists believed could have reached the center of the world." He sighed, "Unfortunately, no sight of the rumored kitsune or a hint of his existence was found, just a den for normal foxes." He chuckled, "But while it lasted, some newspapers made fun of the place saying a true demon fox had fought there and been beaten by nine powerful shinobi after he killed eight of them."

Nabiki's eyes widened.

"Interesting." She said, trying to think rationally.

Could Naruto really be such a fox? Not likely. He was a trickster, not a malevolent demon as far as she had seen.

Then, question two, what relation could Naruto have to such a being? That needed a lot more research.

Finally, what to do with such power after having the world bow down to her feet with a demon fox by her throne with a collar on his neck and the leash in her hand?

Oh, the possibilities looked like fun.

XXXXXX

Naruto shuddered, "Ugh, it felt like someone just wanted to eat me." He said from his position, still in the hall with a bucket of water on each hand and the need to groan his misfortune.

"Ah!" he turned to the other end of the hall to see a familiar face, "It's you!"

He saw Akane there, taking on a defensive stance, and with her skirt finally replaced with one that hadn't been ripped by fake-Pomeranian teeth. She slowly approached the blond with slow steps, not once letting her fists down while her eyes remained on him, finally unnerving the kitsune.

"What's the matter? Do I have something on my face?" he asked partially uneasy and partially annoyed.

"I heard of your last fight with Kuno-san," she stated, "you punched him through the ground just to try to get a date with me. Is that it? Is that why you were at the schoolyard playing tricks?"

Three veins threatened to pop up on Naruto's forehead, "Hey, I told you I can't fight anyone." He growled at her, "For starters, why would I want to fight the prince of pretentious idiots when he's not worth the trouble?" he then grinned when a fun memory came to his mind, "It'd be more fun to do stuff like gluing his stupid ass to the ground, for starters."

Akane flinched from the bluntness, but remained in the defensive, "Why should I trust you? You may have said that you didn't want to fight, but if I think about it there is nothing saying you couldn't have tried to take a cheap shot like-"

"Don't compare me to him." Naruto replied with more of a tired than angry tone, like he wasn't even in the mood to get irritated by that, "If I wanted to cheat my way to win, I'd make it so I could piss on top of the loser and laugh all my way through." Again, such a statement took Akane off-guard, "Honestly, those guys suck at ambushes. I'd have put at least a couple traps to force you to uselessly climb out without any chance of leaving the hole." That truly unnerved the girl, "Hell, I'd probably cover the bottom with all kinds of animal shit to make the experience more hilarious for me."

She stared at him blankly, "You're sick."

Naruto didn't seem to listen, "Hmm… That sounds good. The next time someone tries to come after me and I have the home advantage, I could…"

Akane shook her head and shrugged, "Why did I bother?" she stared at him some more, "He didn't fight at all, he just ran." It sounded like she was trying to convince herself, "It's not like anyone could beat Kuno-san so easily. Well, no-one besides me, that is."

Speak of the devil… "Akane-san!"

The blond and the tomboy turned to see the bruised, but still tall and proud Kuno before them with his wooden sword ready for more, "Wait, didn't you bite the dust enough for one day already?" Naruto asked, something akin to pity was in his voice, deep, deep down the tone that said he was looking down on the swordsman, "I'm kind of in the middle of something stupid." He said while raising the buckets.

The buckets were gone next. Naruto blinked and found his hands to be holding only the handles, while the steel recipients fell down by his feet, hitting the ground yet still not dropping any water on the floor much to the blond fox's amazement. Akane stepped back and returned to her stance, this time taking a more aggressive pose with it.

Naruto stared tiredly at the kendo captain while said blue clad youth glared at him, "You not only dare to humiliate me, fool me with your tricks, and attempt to make claim of this school's greatest beauty, you dared to make a fool out of I, Tatewaki Kuno, through this day with-"

"Yes, he is always like that." Akane said in a deadpan tone when Naruto turned to her, answering his unasked question. Just seeing the blond boy's face said what kind of answer he wanted in such a situation.

"Akane-san!" the swordsman cried, stepping back from the cold way he was being ignored, "Please, don't talk to this dirty man! He is nothing but a liar and a cheater that wants your hand. But I, Tatewaki Kuno, with sword in hand and burning passion shall take your heart and give you mine as a sign of-"

"He usually gives longer speeches too." the girl answered the fox's second silent question.

Naruto nodded as his only response, angering Kuno even more. The swordsman stabbed at Naruto, who once again squatted out of the wooden sword's way with a sigh. Kuno looked down to see the boy squatting on the ground with his hands forming a strange sign. The wooden sword sailed through the air once again to meet the solid and soon to be squished object that was Naruto's head.

And true enough, Kuno smashed his wooden sword into something, a piece of clothing, the whiskered boy's school jacket. Said jacket had been thrown at Kuno's face before he could have reacted, apparently coming from on top of his head. His vision nullified, the swordsman pulled off the black jacket with a scowl on his face and his wooden sword crying for the blood of the damn prankster playing so many damn tricks on him.

"Where is he?!" the brunet asked, looking around for the fox but finding no hair of his around.

"What just happened?!" Akane asked in shock, stepping back, "Where did that… How did that guy manage to move so fast?!"

"It's the oldest trick in the book." Naruto's voice said, and Akane looked down to see the blond still squatting, but now behind Kuno with his hands still in that weird hand-sign.

Kuno turned around to face the blond, trying desperately to face the whiskered punk that dared to make fun of him and bash the stupid out of him. But Naruto jumped up and rammed his fingers into Kuno's chest with a grin on his face, "What're you-" Kuno gasped, looking down at his backside where the kitsune squatted close to.

Naruto grinned in a manner that only a fox would, "This might sting a bit when I'm done." And then he showed his palms to reveal a lace.

Akane blushed madly when finding out that the lace in Naruto's hands was Kuno's belt for his pants, which fell down to reveal once again something she didn't want to see. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on what you may think, Kuno turned around to face Naruto and give his back to Akane in doing so. The swordsman raised his wooden sword again to smash the blond, both hands on it, and it made Naruto grin.

"You've shamed me long enough! Prepare to-" he cried and swung down his weapon, only to see his belt fly at his wrists.

"Sorry, I can't beat you up." Naruto said as he yanked the belt after lashing it at the swordsman, wrapping the cloth around Kuno's wrists to keep him from moving and having him where he wanted.

Kuno was yanked along his bond wrists to come face to face with the shorter boy. With the momentum, Naruto spun around the swordsman to quickly tie his arms together, and then kicked down. Akane blinked when Naruto's foot touched Kuno's fallen pants, and then she realized that he was not done when he grabbed them and pulled down Kuno's arms. Kuno yelped when one foot was pulled up to his wrists, leaving him even more wide open for Naruto to finish his latest trick.

Naruto stepped back after some swift hand movements and admired his work: Kuno standing on one leg, in his underwear, with his other leg and arms tied together. "Who, what… how?!" Kuno managed to asked while trying to free himself by attempting to reach the cloth immobilizing him with his teeth, only managing to fall down on his side.

Finally, Naruto grabbed the wooden sword and, after finding a nice open window, threw it away, "Good, now you can't bother me for a while." He said, dusting his hands with a tired tone, "I'll admit, it was fun, but you really ought to play dirty against a guy like me. I mean, I've trained like a ninja, cheap shots are kind of my thing."

Akane put two and two together, "So that's why…" she understood it, or so she thought, '_He's putting on an act to fool others. I better keep my guard up, or else I may end like Kuno-san._' She got herself ready for any kind of battle but Naruto wasn't making any move that indicated his will to fight.

In fact, he just sat on the ground, his knees to his chest with his elbows on them, and closed his eyes, "But man, I want to give up on this damn school thing." He hung his head low, "Damn it, if it weren't for the old man shoving me into this then perhaps I could enjoy myself." He then turned to Akane, staring with a raised eyebrow, "And what're you doing here? Don't you have classes?"

"Oh right!" she said and entered the classroom, not once taking her eyes off him now that she knew he was dangerous.

Also, she entered the same classroom he had tried to go in had he not been forced out to carry his punishment. The blond groaned, "Oh you got to be kidding me…"

"So long as I live, this Blue Tempest shall- Mmh!" Kuno had tried to give another speech of his, but Naruto silenced him with a mouthful of rice ball.

"Just shut up." Naruto said sternly, forcing another rice ball from his jacket's fourth dimensional pocket, as in a special storage jutsu he had to keep anything he may need for his tricks, into Kuno's mouth, "Eat up and keep quiet. I don't want to deal with anyone today." He closed his eyes and put on an overly distressed face, "Geesh, why did the old fart kick me here where so many humans want to fight out of nowhere but I can't fight them unless my life or someone else's is in danger?"

Kuno started mumbling all kinds of threats he knew through the rice balls gagging him and muffling his voice. He finally swallowed the rice and tried to speak, "You still get too cocky." The two boys turned to see Nabiki standing on the hallway with a smile on her devilish face.

Kuno spoke up, "What're you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your own classroom?"

Naruto nodded, "As much as I don't want to agree with him, you are one creepy girl. What brings you here?"

She smirked, "Why thank you, that's the smartest compliment I've gotten in my life."

Naruto stepped back, reaching into his jacket for a scroll, "Answer the question already."

"Nerima has yet to house someone that could be considered normal. Kuno himself and Akane are magnets for people like you. Truth is, you're an even bigger magnet for trouble." Nabiki crossed her arms under her bust with a smirk, "As the betting woman I am, I'd say you want to let out some steam, fight against someone giving you a good reason to without trouble."

Naruto was sold when she mentioned the possibility of a good fight, "You really think there are people capable of being some fun?"

Nabiki nodded, "You won't even have to do much more than just walk around Nerima any hour of the day. Something up your alley should pop out."

Naruto stared at her uneasily, "Well, excuse me for not buying into that, lady. You're… really creepy."

Nabiki smiled, "My, that is a first for me to hear something like that, but still welcomed." She clasped her hands with a grin, "After all, I do have my own goals in mind. And just so you know, my name is Nabiki Tendo." She grinned wider, "That's a sign of my trust in you. Now, here's something you may like: you should go to the back of the school's pool at lunch. Trust me, you should have a bit of fun letting some steam out."

It was too damn obvious that it was a trap, but for Naruto the idea of having a reason to go all out was welcomed despite the risks.

Besides, what better way for a trickster to have fun than managing to come out of another trickster's game?

XXXXXX

"So this is a human pool. It's cool, I guess."

Naruto hummed while he sat on the jumping board at a safe distance from the water, his hands in his pockets. After a boring session of classes, brushing up the damn rumors making him out as some unbeatable monster or a real coward since he couldn't punch the idiots that were spreading them, and a ramen meal that lasted half a second, there he was. The wind blew calmly, the water barely rippled, and he was bored.

"What's it take for a guy to kick some ass around here?" he asked with a growl, "I don't care who the Hell that Nabiki girl sends my way, I just want to do something fun. This school is filled with idiots, messing with them should cure this boredom…" he let his back make contact with the jumping board, glad that the clouds covered the sun's rays, "Humans always pick up meaningless fights, so I may as well make fun of how idiotic they are." He said with a grin and slowly closed his eyes, "But this is nice in its own way. No stupid chief, no villagers treating me like shit, it's kind of-"

"No, stop it!"

Bolting into a seated position, Naruto rubbed the wax out of his right ear, only to find it clean. He had heard it right, it was a cry of someone in distress. He looked left and right, but found no hair or hide from whoever could be in trouble. He ended up by covering his face with his right hand, breathing deeply once.

"Wait, wait, wait…" he said to himself, snapping out of his previous train of thought, "Why should I care about this? It's just some idiotic-"

His words died again not by another cry or some voice of any kind. What the blond had heard, a sound that made his ears twitch, was the sound of flesh smacking flesh, precisely the sound of flesh covering knuckles smacking into the soft flesh of a stomach. Clenching his teeth, the blond jumped to his feet, and then right into the air about two stories high by using a single leap and the jumping board.

He found what he was looking for fairly easy from such high ground. Behind the pool, hidden from view, was the tennis girl he had met before, the pigtailed sports girl who didn't care about her sexuality. She was surrounded by a pair of boys in tennis outfits, others wore different uniforms, but all of them were surrounding the pigtailed girl with two of them holding her arms.

A third one retrieved his fist from her gut, letting the girl to fall down and shudder from the pain, "Listen up, weirdo, we know that you want to get Akane-san. You think you can make her into some lesbo like you?" here the boy pulled into his jacket for something, a butterfly knife. The girl's eyes widened when the boy flipped the weapon in his fingers, pulled out the blade, and yanked one of her pigtails, "I'm going to make sure you don't show your face to Akane-san ever again."

"You know…" the boys turned to see Naruto just when the blond landed, barely making a sound, "It's times like these when I wonder, why do so many guys need to gang up on a cute girl?" he held up his arms to his sides, showing he was unarmed for his next line, "The girls at this school must have more balls than you, then."

One of the punks tried to reach for Naruto with a fist reared back, but another stopped him, "Hey, he's the new guy. He's the guy that managed to make a fool out of Akane-san."

The boys all turned to Naruto, the knife wielder grinning, "Good… It seems we can do Akane-san an even bigger favor by getting rid of another punk." And for extra emphasis, he kicked the girl, once again striking her stomach, "Then we get rid of the freak."

Naruto finally lost his cool, "You know what?" he asked, pulling out his hands from his pockets with clenched teeth, "I usually don't feel like fighting morons as weak as you unless I am truly pissed off. Hell, I couldn't care less about what you human idiots do to each other, but…" he looked at the tennis girl, holding her sore stomach, and growled at the thugs.

The thugs grew impatient, "You think you're cool?! It's all of us against you. No matter what tricks you have, you can't win!"

One of them lunged at Naruto, to which the blond replied by jumping at him and delivering his right knee on the thug's chin. The sound of bone cracking and teeth being spat out reached the other crooks before their friend fell flatly on his back with Naruto swiftly landing on top of his chest, making the thug spit more teeth that he had almost swallowed.

Naruto gave the thugs a large, wicked grin. "Freak, huh?" The boys stepped back with fear in every step, seeing the fox's eyes briefly flashed. "You know, I really hate that fucking word…" his grin widened into something out of nightmares while he clenched his hands so hard that his fingers' joints cracked, "Let me show you a real freak show!"

Giving not a single fuck when the thugs rushed at him together in an attempt to win with the sheer power of numbers, Naruto let them with a smirk before he started countering their strikes. A sloppy punch to his face was easily swatted and countered with his right heel on the jaw of his attacker. Spit and blood burst from the girl's harasser's mouth, and with the crack of the strike it was obvious he'd be eating through a straw. A predictable groin kick was easily stopped with his hand holding the ankle to pull the leg away from his crotch, yank the kicker closer, and then deliver a solid jolt of pain in the form of his fist into the bully's face. The heavy punch sank the nose of Naruto's opponent into his face, creating a geyser of blood.

Finally, the knife wielder rushed at Naruto for some wild swings, but the blond saw the strikes coming and leaned back, avoiding them with single steps to tire out the punk, letting him swing wider until Naruto saw his chance. With a wider smirk, Naruto gave a large step back, leaning all of his weight into his step before spinning around. One foot hit the ground, and the other used the momentum to swing a lashing roundhouse kick at the knife in the thug's hand, knocking it off now broken fingers.

The last thug fell to the ground, holding his bleeding, broken hand with cries of pain through gritted teeth, "A-Amazing!" the tennis girl gasped.

Naruto merely stretched his hand up and caught the knife, and showed a better dexterity than the bladed weapon's owner by flicking it in his fingers before hiding the blade, holding only the handle, "You shouldn't play with these things." The fox started, before smashing the steel handle on the punk's face, leaving a large mark on his forehead, "You're way too stupid for them." He pocketed the knife and approached the tennis girl.

She held her stomach and looked up at him, showing a few bruises that made him frown, "Why did you help me?"

Out of thin air came a humored, brief laugh, "Heh, if you want to know…" the two turned to Nabiki, who walked to the beaten punks and fished out their wallets, pulling out handfuls of bills, "It was because they owed me money." She grinned at Naruto and stood up, "You could say this kills two birds with one stone: I get to settle the score with overly macho punks and get paid what they owe me, and he gets to get some steam out."

"So you used me to do your dirty work." Naruto didn't bother asking anything, he was stating the facts, and he had some suspicions, "Then the reason she's here, is it because of your sister?"

Nabiki smiled with her eyes closed, "I don't care about people preferring the other gender. I even have betting pools about Akane's own sexuality." She wagged a finger when she sensed he'd argue some more, "I just happened to be monitoring these guys to find the perfect opportunity to get paid back the money I lent them with all of the interests. At first they didn't care about the dirty secrets I had of them, so I knew I needed a more direct approach. You, Naruto, just happened to be more direct than anything."

The blond spoke up with a calm stare, "So you knew they'd try to beat her up and you didn't care enough to help her?"

The broker's smile turned even more devilish, "I knew you would do two things, either you'd stop them by any means necessary, or you'd walk off. It's a good thing I placed my bet on you staying."

"You're not creepy anymore…" Naruto said, seeing Nabiki in a new light, "You're pure evil."

That statement caused the brunette to let out a brief giggle, "Oh, you are too kind." She pulled out a few of the bills she took from the beaten punks and, to the tennis girl's surprise, handed them to the blond, "But how's this? I can be very kind to you. After all, with my business many dangerous men could come my way. You can fight to protect others, so why not let out steam like that?"

Her smile widened when Naruto took the bills in one hand, and then her eyes were even more widely open when the blond handed the money to the tennis girl, "I don't work for you or anyone." Naruto stated firmly, putting his hands in his pants pockets, "Whatever you want, I don't care. It's just when people like you see others and brands them that I get mad. Just be glad I'm not allowed to hit anyone who doesn't threaten my life." He then glared at the girl, "As for protecting you… Keep pulling that stuff up, risking someone's life again, and I will pay you as kindly by looking the other way when someone wants to repay your bullshit."

Nabiki's smile didn't fall, "You don't have a choice now." She said, wagging her finger again.

"Y-You…"

Naruto turned to see Kuno, several others students, and Akane staring at him from a window, out of hearing range, "You see…" Nabiki started, drawing his attention back to her, "That was part two of my plan should she be in danger, have someone see the bullies and stop them. But since you beat them up…" she grinned with a hook aimed at her, "All it takes is a little word from them linking us together, and presto! I get a new bodyguard!"

Smiling the way she did truly irked him, "That's a load of shit cheaper than your haircut!" the blond snapped, "Who'd buy such a thing?!"

The girl kept her smile, "Say what you want, everyone has seen you fighting. It's the scene many have seen against the scene you say you've played."

He clenched his teeth so hard that there was a risk of one cracking. He wanted to beat up this manipulating, evil girl to a pulp, and he would. He was a fox, he didn't give half a fly's ass about chivalry, and even less when it came to girls using that to protect themselves. But he couldn't do a damn thing, for if he tried to get back at Nabiki who wasn't foolish enough to attack him physically, he couldn't hurt her. There was the option to pull a prank on her, but that'd only happen if she attacked him.

His old chief had been strict about his rules before sending the kitsune to Nerima.

"Like I've said." Naruto started, "When you get in trouble, don't come looking for me. I won't help you no matter what happens."

The brunette smiled, "I know how to take care of myself, but thanks for your concern." She said with a sweet smile.

Naruto left, his anger building inside of him wouldn't help him at all.

Akane stared at his retreating form and then at the beaten punks, "Is he that much stronger than me?" she asked in shock at what she saw. The boys Naruto had beaten were seriously injured without any remorse, and the blond made it look too easy at that, "I can't be too careful around someone like him."

Kuno nearly snapped his wooden sword in half with his grip, "So he was hiding this much power. It seems that he is indeed a worthy contestant for Akane-san's hands. However, I, Tatewaki Kuno, won't fall to him!"

Nabiki chuckled, startling him, "Says the one that lost to Naruto how many times in a row?" she asked with a smirk.

Kuno forced a massive smile, "Oh… is it… tea time already? Oh well, I must be off!"

And with that, he was gone to leave Nabiki to laugh to herself.

XXXXXX

Naruto was now out of the school with a lot of anger to work through in his own way: '_Should I burn all her underwear and flip her skirt in front of the entire school? Nah, that'd be too obvious and she's even more demonic than my old man. She could get me in trouble if I'm not smart about this_.'

He didn't want justice, a fair world, or anything involving a simple life. Naruto wanted revenge, badly, the kind that would only be satisfied if he watched his target cry in shame. But he knew that his chief would make him clean the world's largest sewer system with a toothbrush until one could eat on it if he didn't have a good reason for it.

Out of every single attack and fight he had so far, it had been out of self-defense. Using his jutsus on Akane was to get away from her and stop the fight – while having a blast out of it -, fooling Kuno had been fun but he had always tried to attack him first, and the assholes he just beat and that Nabiki had business with were about to hurt the tennis girl.

Speaking of which, he did get a weapon from it, which he kept currently hidden in his right pants pocket.

He pulled out the butterfly knife, pulling out an eight inches long double-edged blade. He held it in his fingers, examining it to see that it was well-kept, was rust-proof, and had very sturdy and sharpened steel. He grinned, twirled the weapon between his fingers, and pocketed it in his pants pocket, keeping his right hand there.

"Guess I can play even dirtier against whatever that devil girl throws my way." He said, referring to Nabiki as the devil.

Finally, the dark clouds that gave him a nice shade at the pool had gathered and morphed into a cloudy sky perfect for raining. This had only been noticed when the first drop of water fell on his face. Naruto looked up as the rain started to fall down as small drops of cold water that grew in number and intensity of their fall.

Not even a sigh later from him, and the blond found trouble: "Leave me alone!"

He turned to see a red and black blur followed by a white and black colored one, "Are you kidding me?" Naruto asked, but seeing that he didn't have a thing to do but get settled in his new place, he walked towards the source of all the noise, "May as well see if I can get some anger out."

That thought ended abruptly like an unstoppable force colliding with an unmovable object when he saw what he had followed. One of the figures was a fat, large panda of about seven foot tall of height and several hundred pounds of fat. The bear was either from a circus or a pet of sorts because it was taking on a pose Naruto thought only cheesy martial artists knew but did it with grace and balance unlike any normal human's. So the panda had to be very well trained.

What caught his attention a bit better was a beautiful redhead girl with blue eyes, her hair done in a single braided pigtail that reached her mid-back, and with quite a body that was both better gifted and more curvaceous than any girl had the right to possess. She had a pretty, tomboyish round face, and wore a red Chinese kung-fu jacket with black kung-fu pants and matching shoes.

Naruto watched her jump on a fence and take a stance just as mastered as that of the black and white bear's, "You're not taking me back, did you hear me?!"

The bear replied by lifting up a large sign which read, "You will go, family honor is at stake here!" which would surprise Naruto were he not a demonic fox.

The redhead girl growled, "There's no honor with you, just your-"

A single clap made the two odd fighters turn to the blond sitting on the fence he had been watching them from, ignoring the rain falling down on him with a smirk, "I never thought I'd see a panda harassing a girl." He jumped off the fence and stood before the panda, his hands in his pockets, "You're also very smart…" here his grin disappeared to show him sneering, "Now lose the act before I get serious on some bastard like you. You're not fooling me, you damn bear. I know what you are so stop pretending before I make stew with you for the chief!"

Raining or not, the girl could tell the panda was sweating when it lifted a sign that read, "Wait, what're you talking about? Is it about money or something else?"

Naruto shrugged, "Do I look like someone who'd care about money?" he scoffed, "I may as well be a demon in human skin, but it's spirits like you that give people like me a bad name!"

The girl heard him right, "Spirit… what the hell?"

The panda didn't, as his next sign read, "Wait, let's talk about this. If your chief is mad, maybe I can pay him back later. I got something settled."

Naruto walked to the panda, "Sorry, no can do. I already settled in my mind that I ought to take you to the chief so he can take proper care of you." he then scratched the back of his neck, "Now, do you want to give up or would you rather fight back? I'd rather go all out, but I can tell your spiritual power is too weak. Last chance, so make my day."

The panda then grinned widely, as much as a muzzle would allow it to when he pulled out his last sign, "Then you've made your first mistake facing I, Saotome Genma!"

And Naruto had the sign one inch from his face with the panda following close behind in a split second. The whiskered kid clenched his teeth and dashed back, avoiding getting his face flattened by the sign and barely missing a textbook roundhouse kick to his head from the large, fat animal.

"Tch, I got sloppy there!" the boy cursed and the same instant his foot touched the ground behind him he forced that leg to launch him forward with all of its muscles shaking with a jolt of power that launched Naruto at the large black and white bear.

Said enormous animal's eyes widened when Naruto had closed the distance he set between them and swung a hand at him at incredible speeds. Genma jumped backwards, flipping in the air and landing several good feet away from the blond while barely making a sound, and holding… what remained of his sign. It was with wide eyes the panda realized that Naruto's strike didn't miss its mark, which had been to slice the sign and its handle cleanly in two separate parts, all while he quickly took his own pose.

The girl sucked in a gasp of surprised air at the sight of the stance: Naruto's body was slightly hunched forward, both hands up with his right one holding his knife in an inverted hold, while his left one remained close to the blade with the two arms at both sides of his body. His legs were spread and had the right balance, with his head leaning at an angle that managed to allow him to look at his opponent in the eye.

"That's ninjutsu." She said, finding it hard to believe that such a strange boy knew such fighting.

The panda looked at the girl, and dashed at her.

Naruto jumped in its way and lashed a foot at the large creature. This strike was countered with the fat bear's knee meeting his ankle to force him back. The blond did step back, only for the sake of using the momentum to spin around and swing his new knife at the bear. Once again, the panda countered his moves, this time by grabbing the whiskered kid's wrist with his hand and rearing back the other to punch the boy properly. Or Genma would have, had Naruto not used his other hand to grab him by the large rolls of fat and fur on his neck, pull himself closer to the large animal, and then slam his forehead on the panda's.

The redhead cringed when the sound of a loud and sickening crack echoed through the rain. It was lucky that it was not a crunch, or else the panda could have gotten even more seriously hurt. Yet, the two opponents jumped back with Naruto using his left hand to hold his forehead, and the girl watched how blood dripped down between his fingers while the panda held his dizzy head with a matching red stain on his forehead.

Naruto grunted through the pain, "So you used the same attack I used just to counter it with an equal force… Clever fur-ball…"

The panda held a new sign, "I've got even more tricks, you brat."

Naruto chuckled, put his knife back in his pants, and pulled a scroll through his jacket. The fat bear stared as the boy bit on the scroll and put his hands in a strange sign, "Funny, so do I." the kid said with a very cocky tone, his voice coming out as if he didn't have the scroll in his mouth, "It seems I'll finally get to have some fun!"

White smoke burst into a cloud, a screen that blinded both girl and panda. The rain helped to make the smoke go away, to reveal something different that had taken Naruto's place.

Said something was a large pitch black sphere that smelled as if something were burning.

Curiously, the panda examined it… and yes, that was a cord, and it was lit. And the sparks that were eating the cord with their flames slowly but surely approached the sphere's body. A second cloud of smoke, this one a pitch black and far larger than the first one, rocked the entire street and sent the panda flying off to the floor, its fur now pitch black from the sooth of the explosion.

Naruto, now on top of a rooftop, laughed at the bear, "Serves you right, you perverted panda spirit!" he shouted at the animal, "Next time you want to harass some girl, you will have to deal with me!" he grinned with a lot of pride swelling in him, his thumb hooked to his person, "I am the great Naruto Uzumaki! So long as I'm here, it'll be fun for me to mess up your plans!"

The panda growled, only for him to take notice of something a bit too late.

The girl was gone.

**XXXXXX**

**And that's my rap!**

**And just to clear some questions: **Naruto has mistaken Genma for a spirit like him. Naruto is a demonic spirit fox, so for him to see another animal that shows intellect and skills in martial arts it means that the kid's mind draws the one possible explanation it can get in such short notice. It doesn't help that Genma thought he was an errand boy looking to settle one of his many debts.

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter, good or bad as you may see it. I must admit it takes a lot of effort from me to not want to simply bash the likes of Genma considering the horrible things he did to his own son for the sake of living by being a leech to said kid.**

**Anyway, I will try to have the characters develop a bit, not have them be the threats to Ranma's life that his creator made them to be. I will try, so I make no promises on what may come out. Like I've shown, Naruto will have to rely more on his skills, tricks, and just all around playing dirty as much as possible to be even against Nerima's heavy hitters. And he has to face Nabiki too.**

**Call me crazy, put me in a dress and take me to a five star dinner, but Nabiki does work perfectly as an antagonist for Naruto considering she is the Lex Luthor to his Superman act… Ok, she may not be as evil and he's definitely not as heroic as those two respectively, but you get my meaning. Though, I admit, Nabiki is one head-shaving away from becoming a female Superman villain.**

**Swordslinger out!**


	3. Chapter 3

I OWN NOTHING

At times one can easily forget to have fun when writing stories. These next months will be busy for me as these past weeks have been. My secret to keep trying: good friends, clean underpants, and fun stories.

**XXXXXX**

Half started

"What's the matter fur ball, are you mad?"

Naruto was perched on a fence, panting slightly with a claw mark on his right cheek that started to heal. The large black and currently also gray panda breathed deeply but silently, the sooth from the bomb its body took slowly washed off with the rain. The bear didn't look too tired, but its fur hid bruises and a few cuts from the kid's knife had been cleaned with the soothing rain too.

The blond remained in his standard ninjutsu position with his newly acquired butterfly knife in an inverted grip, and the bear pulled out another sign, which read, "I can't waste more time with you. I must find Ranma."

One growl stopped the large fat bear, "You're just another maggot crawling in the biggest pile of shit they can find, just like my father…" the blond went silent, his eyes narrower, "You just earned yourself a ton of shit, you shitty bear. I remembered something I don't like because of what you did." He then grinned, "Luckily for you, I may forgive you… if you make a decent stew."

The bear threw his sign at Naruto, who quickly took out his knife to slice it in half, and got treated to a flying roundhouse kick from the panda. The kid replied by spinning on his legs, and bringing one up for a reverse roundhouse kick that collided against the large animal's limb. The force of both kicks cancelled each other, having the bear falling down with mastered ease.

The sign read "You're mine now, kid!" while over four hundred pounds of panda stomped forward, only to see a familiar blond jumping at him. None would've expected a fighter to be up and ready to fight after delivering a kick, which needed balance and practice while leaving a wide opening if done incorrectly. Since when was our kitsune a patient boy?

If one watched the kid fight, they knew he was reckless, vicious and ambitious. He didn't even care about how he landed; he just wanted to punch the bigger animal in the face with his own face twisted into a feral expression of battle hunger. The fist nailed a solid punch on the panda's face, with enough force to stop Naruto's jump and spin him in the air with his back smashing on the ground. He had jumped at the panda and punched him, in doing so managing to flip himself and land on his back just because he didn't give a single fuck of how he had to punch him.

The panda gave a grunt and huff, tried to get up, and found Naruto standing over him, both legs besides the animal's head. The black and white animal shivered when the kid grabbed him by the large amount of fat on his chest, pulled him up, and smashed his fist on the bear's face. The bear grunted, and the blond unclenched his fist so the opened hand could grab the beast's head. Naruto pulled the panda up, reared back one leg, and smashed his knee on the large bamboo eater's muzzle, rattling a few teeth loose.

A sign was raised, with the panda giving a powerful stomp to get up, and it read a simple, "What kind of fighter strikes someone who is down?"

Naruto grinned like the feral being he was deep inside, "Since when do we spirits have to fight fair?" he pocketed his knife in his left pants pocket, but kept that side's hand inside it, "I told you already, I hated your guts the instant I saw you, you oversized Teddy bastard." He crouched, ready to lung at the large animal yet again, "I may hate humans too, but I'm not willing to let a creep like you roam around!"

The panda threw his sign away and took his own stance yet again, claws near gleaming in the rain. As if an invisible gong had gone off, it all stopped with a strange unfamiliar weight on the back of the kid's head. Naruto gasped at both the pain and the shockwaves in his skull from the kick. He fell to the ground, face first, barely glimpsing the redhead he saved standing before him with her own glare.

"What's your problem?!" she asked, now mad at him despite her previous issue with the panda, "Are you seriously going to kill him?" she growled, and the panda beamed with pride and joy a those words, until she put her thumb to her ample chest, "Sorry, but if someone has any right to do so, it is me!"

Naruto got up with a growl on his throat, his left hand still in his pocket, holding the knife, "Are you fucking stupid?" he clenched and unclenched his right hand at the pigtailed redhead, "That bastard was chasing you and willing to fight you. Do you have any idea what his kind do?"

She huffed, "I've spent all my life with this asshole. Trust me, I know. Hell, I even welcome it so long as it makes me improve as a fighter."

Naruto was baffled, to say the least, "Turn around." He managed to say perfectly calm.

The girl, Ranma, took a deep breath, and threw her right foot backwards. She bent down, her head near the ground, one hand on the street, and her right leg extended all the way back, crashing through a stop sign the bear picked from the street, and right into the panda's gut. The massive bamboo eater was sent flying backwards and landed with a loud, earth shaking thud that, combined with the weariness from Naruto playing dirty, knocked out the large panda.

She sighed once she got up, "Like I said, if someone has the right to kill him, that person is me."

Naruto took out his knife, "Then do you mind if I take some of him? I want that stew even more than before."

The girl looked horrified, "No! No way! What is wrong with you?!"

The blond bared his teeth in anger, showing canines that were indeed sharp, like a fox's, "I should ask that! Do you want this bastard to roam around? It's a freaking spirit that tried to do something to you, very likely-"

She blinked twice, three times, and a fourth time to recover her composure, "Spirit? What are you talking about?"

Naruto squinted his eyes and leaned closer to her. With his eyes now shut he looked even more like a fox examining her, "You spent your life with this bastard but don't get what he is?" he stepped back and walked to the panda, pressing one foot on its large stomach, "Hey asshole, wake up. I have to ask you a few questions to see how much your fur is worth."

The girl closed her eyes, nearly grunting in despair, "You don't get it, and why should I be surprised?" she let out a sigh, which made Naruto turn to face her, "Listen, this sack of crap and fur is not a panda, and I am not in the mood to be in this rain. I'll explain to you as soon as I get hot water."

He sighed but pulled out a scroll, biting on it before he spoke with clarity that defied logic with the object in his teeth, "Fine, just let me make sure I can get back to sell this bastard's skin sooner or later." And with a hand sign and a cloud of smoke, the enormous bamboo eater was pinned to the ground with thick iron chains that sunk deeply into the street.

She gasped, "How did you do that?" she was both awed and very curious, in a way that Naruto felt familiar with: she wanted to learn that trick.

He cockily replied, "By being born awesome." She gave him a deadpan, so he elaborated, "You can't use this kind of tricks unless you do some of those shitty magic tricks humans are so proud of."

"Humans…? Wait. Earlier, you called the fat bastard a spirit, right?" she recalled how weird that was, but how serious the kid had been. "I'm a girl because of that, maybe he..." she started to wonder as she looked at the proud boy, who now remained silent at her visible curiosity. "Have you ever heard of the cursed springs at China?"

"Hey!" that wasn't Naruto's voice, the two blue eyed teens turned to verify that.

Indeed, students from Furinkan in their fancy, colorful outfits walked to them, one holding a bat to the blond, "Here you are, Uzumaki; how dare you try to get Akane-san just because you arrived?! Not only that, you mocked her and teased everyone by pretending to be a wimp in order to strike Kuno-san when he was most vulnerable."

Naruto massaged his temples, "This shit again? Do you guys know how badly I can ruin your day if you give me a reason to, or did you forget?" he scratched the back of his head, "But I don't mind, seeing as you're all here ready to get a beating." He crouched into a lazy stance with both hands in his pockets, one reaching for his knife.

Another student, this one with a fencing sword, aimed his weapon at Ranma, "Who's this? Another girl you're trying to flirt with like Nabiki-san?"

Naruto's eyes narrowed dangerously, his face the definition of irritated. Not angry, just the face of someone who found his morning coffee was made with dirty socks, "Nabiki… That damn cheap bitch. What kind of trouble is she trying to set me up to now?" he whispered to himself with a snarl.

A boy with a soccer ball set the ball down, a foot on top, "It also helps us that this will set our debts with Nabiki-san when we beat you to a bloody pulp."

Smacking his hand to his face dulled the pain of how obvious the answer was, "At this point I am not surprised." He then pulled up his hand high enough to cover his eyes and give the students a large, feral grin, "But I may even thank that witch after beating you punks up. I do need to work out some leftover anger. If you're trying to beat me up as badly as you say, I can't hold back, can I?"

"We also won't let you get away with tricking another girl." The soccer played cried, but his eyes found himself drawn by the force of gravity to a far larger mass.

One vein bulged on her forehead, daring to pop from the anger while the girl closed her eyes and breathed deeply, "My eyes are higher than that."

The student nodded, "Yeah, my eyes and I'll get to them in a minute… or two."

The girl threw a sharp punch, and was amazed yet again when the kitsune stopped her with his hand stopping hers with some needed effort, "Be thankful I want to get the ass kicking done, she hits hard and I'm still forced to hold back to not get into too much trouble." The blond groaned at the distracted by Ranma's large knockers soccer player, "You don't mind me taking care of these punks, do you?"

"Let me join in." she said, getting into her stance with a furious look on her pretty face, "I really hate idiots like these the most."

"Fine! Get them!" the baseball player crowed, swinging his bat at the blond, only to watch him dodge the strike with no effort.

Naruto flipped backwards, landing with a cocky grin on his face and his tongue out with the tip touching his chin, "I'm much smarter than you humans, at least when it comes to fighting." He pulled his tongue back in and grinned wider at Ranma, "Besides, now you have a reason to try to punch them harder, if you can take them out before I, then I'll see if I can teach you the trick I used earlier."

She grinned, but the vein still pulsing on her forehead said she was happy to have a reason to fight this many cocky bastards, "You really want to teach me after what you went through with that panda?"

Naruto grinned and put up his hands in loose fists, taking his ninjutsu stance, "Like I said, your oversized pet got my blood boiling, and he did so at a bad time. I want to fight someone who can put up a fight!"

She grinned wider, this time her vein sunk into her flesh and her body took a much more lighthearted aura of eagerness for battle, "Actually, same here."

The two teens lunged at their opponents. Naruto flipped himself sideways as if he were doing a cartwheel without his hands touching the ground. With the momentum of a pendulum he brought his feet up in the air while his head was a good two feet from the ground. The speed and force he swung his body forward with in a circle resulted in his heels smashing on two of the students' heads like hammers.

Ranma wisely and swiftly dashed backwards with an incredible mastery of her footing to avoid a thrust from the fencer's sword. It wasn't like she even had started moving forward, she glided backwards with her hands up while watching the blond stick a painful and harsh landing on his back. This gave her the widest opening she had seen to firmly bring her shin on the swordsman's gut, knocking the wind out of him.

She chuckled, "You're too eager to punch someone."

He spun around his legs, flipping himself back to his full height while his feet twirled around in a small tornado that delivered pain to those that remained too close. He shouted in excitement, "Yeah, I am! So what?!" he replied while his shoes slammed into the knees, ankles and shins of the students, bringing them down or sending them to stagger back.

One of the stumbling students, a football player, noticed a shadow on top of him, "Huh?" he asked incredulously before a pair of delicate feminine hands slammed on both his shoulders. He looked up to see the girl doing a dual hand stand over his head with her legs raised skywards. And the next second, before he could try to get a look into her red jacket, she let gravity and her own strength do their thing by bringing her knee on the student's face trough his helmet. The football player didn't remain conscious when his body hit the ground and the redhead flipped off his sleeping form.

"Shit, we're boned!" one student cried, failing miserably to escape when the two teens leapt at him.

It didn't take long for Naruto to be in a squatting position before the latest batch of people that owed money to Nabiki with a wide grin, "Thanks for the fight." He then reached into their pockets.

"What're you doing?" Ranma asked while he pulled out handfuls of bills and coins.

He snickered, "There's this damn broker woman I've met today. She's given me Hell, so I am going to keep all the gains from these fights to myself." He smiled wider at the amount of cash in his hands, "Now this can put me in a good mood, five thousand yen! Hahahaha… I am feeling good, all right!" he pocketed the money. "I get to beat up some idiots, and got money out of it, the money that Nabiki-witch wanted!"

"Geesh, you're really messed up." She stated.

The blond scoffed, staring at her through squinted eyes, "Hey, I've gone through Hell already. Let a man have some fun."

"Speaking of that." She started, "Would you happen to have a tub with hot water? I really need a warm bath."

He opened his eyes and looked at the wet streets while the sun's rays shone down after the rain, and then at his damp clothes, "Yeah, I could use one too."

They left, with the panda behind, crying at his futile attempts to break free of the chains. Little did they know, a pair of eyes had been scanning them with a smirk, "Honestly, the power he has is unbelievable. Oh well, I better wake up these guys." Nabiki Tendo said as she folded an umbrella and walked to the beaten students.

Unaware to her, someone else was following her, looking at where the blond and redhead walked off to.

XXXXXX

"So, this is it?" Naruto asked while walking into the small, minimalistic apartment.

It wasn't too small either, just with enough space for two people or four at most. It had a small kitchen, a bath, a couple of doors that lead to the bedrooms and a small coffee table with cushions on a nearby corner to sit in order to eat. The girl made a bee line to the bathroom door while Naruto set down what little he had on the floor, meaning his wet jacket, pants, and muscle shirt, leaving himself only in his boxers.

He then proceeded to wring his clothes over the sink, "Hey, I didn't bother asking your name." he heard Ranma say from behind the door while the water from his clothes and the shower fell down.

"Naruto Uzumaki, and no wise-cracks," he replied, "I've had enough with your pet and the school I'm forced to go to for a day. How about you tell me what that bastard wanted from you, whoever the Hell you are?"

"Name's Ranma Saotome." She said and Naruto had to pick his ear with his pinky because her voice sounded different, deeper. He shrugged it off as the water falling down, or something with a boring explanation, and she continued, "And about that panda, do you mind not talking about him while I can relax? I just want to get back to China one way or another without him following me to make my life worse."

"Like I've said, you should have left me skin the fur ball. I could've made a killer stew out of him." Naruto sighed with his eyes passing over the stove with ideas of delicious bear stew.

"Aren't pandas kind of, you know, endangered?" Ranma asked.

"That was not a panda, it had to be a spirit of some sort." He replied, looking into the fridge to find fresh food already set in much to his delight.

Ranma's voice was filled with confusion, "You kept calling him a spirit. What are you to say that?" Naruto's guest had answers that Ranma considered vital.

"I'm a kitsune," he replied without falsehood, "I could tell that panda was a spirit considering it was at least intelligent and strong."

"You're a fox?" he heard Ranma ask, "Are you sure you didn't hit your head when fighting him?"

"That's what I am, why should I care?" he asked and started to put on his still damp clothes.

And then the bathroom door opened to reveal a boy, a black haired boy with black hair, a yellow top, blue shorts (or where they boxers?), and a strong if lean build. He was currently drying his hair, done in a pigtail identical to the redhead, and looking at Naruto with a tired look.

The blond got on his stance, ready for some action, until the boy spoke, "Yes, I know, this is weird."

Naruto blinked, "Ranma?"

"You wouldn't happen to have a seat? It's a bit of a long story." The Boy Ranma said.

The blond fox chuckled, "I've got time, just let me get a bath." He gave a laidback if still foxily feral grin as he entered the bathroom to get more comfortable, '_Besides, I'm wondering what kind of trick I could pull off out of this story. Just you wait, damn witch, I'll make you pay for today_.'

XXXXXX

Nabiki sighed at the poor display before her, all the strong students that were close to Kuno in skill and power had been beaten with no effort, and Naruto had taken all of their money with him. So there she was, folding her umbrella while the boys on the street gave her a lengthy and detailed explanation of how hard they got their asses kicked to them.

"He doesn't play fair, that's for certain." She commented when they were done speaking, "Then again, neither do I."

One of the students chuckled, "Ugh, well, at least he took our money. That means we don't have to pay you at all."

Nabiki turned at the one who said that with a practiced calm and sweet smile, "I am afraid to burst your bubble."

The student snapped, "Screw you! He beat us to shit and took our money for you! That boyfriend, bodyguard or whatever you have did your job once you let go of his leash!"

She smirked, "I did say you may be able to clean your debts if he falls by your hand. And you are right, he took your money, five thousand yen you owed me."

"Then, why're you smiling?" another student asked, nursing his bloody nose.

"Because…" she drawled with a devilish smirk, "What you paid was my lovely assistant's salary."

One of the students, with bruised ribs, felt his voice crack at that, "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

She wagged a finger, "Naruto can take all of the money he can find in the pockets of his enemies. Then I give him a handsome roll of bills for his services." She put that finger to her delighted lips.

"Then, we…" one gulped.

She widened her grin, "Still owe me, with interests and the extra fee for fighting Naruto and the fee for losing to him. That should come around…" she closed her eyes, hardly believing how much money she was making, "Fifteen thousand yen. How's that for your fair chance of fighting the strongest boy at Furinkan?"

"You bitch…" one of them growled.

Nabiki crossed her arms under her breasts, "If you aren't happy with the results, I am sure Naruto would love a chance to have another fight."

The students shivered at such a thought, but inside they were plotting something.

A certain pair of pigtails stared at it all, "Naruto-san… I hope he's ok." The plain tennis girl said to herself, a hand to her mouth to muffle her voice, "I may like girls but he was nice. Uh… what should I do? Nabiki-san is so scary and she has him on a leash. I can't let him get in trouble because of her, though." She fretted, rubbing her hands over each other. "Ugh, why am I so weak? No girl would date me no matter what…"

She hung her head low, but remembered some familiar words, "_I'll cheer for you._"

"R-Right… Whatever his reasons… he said that for me…" she said to herself before turning around and jogging to where she saw the blond and that sexy redhead girl walk to. Maybe if she helped Naruto-san after all he did for her, he could introduce her to that stunning, curvaceous and athletic girl who didn't have a single fear about facing others. With a faint blush, she jogged faster.

XXXXXX

Naruto had listened to Ranma's entire story, now in a pair of orange sweatpants and a white tank top, and his thoughts could be briefly summarized with, "I want to skin AND castrate your father."

The pigtailed boy sighed, "Trust me, I know. But he is my father." He then looked at the boy, "You did take this story too well, though. So, are you really a kitsune?"

"This is my human form." Naruto replied with a finger aimed to his face, "I stopped using my fox form after I started to go through puberty." He looked down, "Fox spirit or not, growing from being nothing but a kit into what I really am is kind of hard to take in, even more since my chief is forcing me to remain in this form."

"Chief?" Ranma asked, and so Naruto started his explanation, which had some doubtful statements that Ranma had to question at the end, "So you're forced to do this shit because your chief wants you to have friends and be a good person?" he sighed tiredly, "Why couldn't I have your life. At least it sounds like that old man gives a shit for you."

Naruto let his back fall on the floor, "I know… He really did but some of the stuff he says and does still piss me off. I'm a demon, damn it, not a human." He then thought of his new acquaintance's life, "Although, all things considered, I prefer this than being married to some stranger's daughter by force because of something I have no say in."

"I know!" Ranma agreed, "And I have this damn curse to get rid of too." he then put his hands on the table, "Since you're a spirit, do you know any way, spell, or anything at all that could help me?"

The blond fox sighed, "Sorry, that sounds like something even I couldn't deal with unless I gained a level beyond my chief's. And even with his skills I doubt you'd have much of a chance."

Ranma looked away in anger, "Tsk… Yeah, I should have figured it wouldn't be this easy." He turned to the uncaring kitsune, "Anyway, you can't fight unless your life is threatened, right?"

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Then it's a shame." That answer caused Naruto to sit straight up, "You're strong, and I wouldn't mind fighting someone like you."

Naruto grinned, "You're strong too, for a human. But, yeah, unless someone wants to kill me or at the very least beat me until an inch of my life then I am not supposed to fight them."

Ranma nodded in understanding, "Well, I may enjoy the art of fighting, but there's no way I'd threaten someone who just helped me. Thanks for that, by the way."

Naruto blinked, leaning back a bit with strange warmth rushing to his body, "What's with that? Are you delirious or something?"

Ranma tilted his head in confusion, "What do you mean? You beat my bastard of a father to help me. I'd like to thank you at least."

Naruto scratched the back of his head, "It sounds too weird… Man, this is why I don't like humans, you never make much sense if any at all." He sighed the last part tiredly, sounding truthfully confused by the concept instead of questioning it like some sociopath.

A knock, two, and a third interrupted the boys' train of thought and drew the attention to the door. Both jumped to their feet and neared the door, Naruto's shoulder resting on one wall besides it with one hand on the knob with Ranma on the other side with his fists up. If such an action seemed paranoid to any reader, Naruto hadn't met anyone besides Ranma in a proper manner that could make him feel at ease, and the pigtailed gender bending boy had a panda after him for an arranged marriage.

Ranma raised three fingers, curling one after a second passed, then the other which Naruto nodded to and gripped the knob tighter, one finger remained and Naruto turned the knob, and when the hand had all fingers curled into the palm, they jumped at, "Old fart?!"

The two boys were blasted back, past the coffee table, and landed heavily on their backs. They flipped themselves up with some dizziness making their heads spin from the blow. Naruto grabbed his head and shook it to see that, indeed, his chief was at the door, followed by a backpack about his size.

"What're you doing trying to attack your chief, Naruto? Did you get into that much trouble that you…" and the man trailed off at the sight of a third male in the room, "Is this a friend of yours?" he asked, sounding genuinely confused and, with that smile on his face, pleasantly amused.

"Forget that, old fart Hiruzen!" Naruto shouted at Sarutobi, a fist shaking at the old man. "What're you doing here?!"

Sarutobi Hiruzen gave the kid a one-eyed glare, "Did you honestly believe I'd let you live here without making sure you don't abuse your powers like your father before you?"

Naruto bared his teeth in an angry, animalistic expression, "Stop comparing me to him!"

Sarutobi sighed tiredly, "Of course, I know, and I apologize. However," he turned with a grin at the pigtailed boy, "it seems I may have to stop that comparison seeing as you've made an actual friend."

"Me?" Ranma asked, and thought it over. "Well… he did help me early on, beating an annoying bastard for me."

"Naruto, protecting a stranger, and a human at that?" Hiruzen asked with a grin, "Are you sure we're talking about the same boy, my child?"

"Laugh it while you can, you old monkey!" Naruto replied, arms crossed, "I helped him because I wanted to fight someone, that is all."

Sarutobi's eyes narrowed, "I see." He pulled a pipe from his robe and lit it, taking a long breath from the burnt tobacco, "I did foresee this, but so long as your power and might are used for good, I am glad that I can consider that a step forward." And then he came to a realization, "But why would you let a human in your home, Naruto?"

The blond opened his mouth, but no sound came. Ranma replied for him, arms crossed, "Does he need a reason? I asked him to let me in for a shower. And…" now he recalled why he followed Naruto, "I'd like to ask a few things to you, please."

And so, Sarutobi listened to the kid's entire story, now seated on the coffee table with the boys, "I see… In all due respect, I'd also like to meet your father, and feed his pieces to wild baboons."

"So, those magical waters…" Naruto started, "If you can turn into a girl and your father into a panda, what's the problem?" he asked casually and grinned, "Transformation is an art no normal human can do at will."

"You think I'm comfortable as a girl?!" Ranma asked indignantly, "I want to be a manly man, a true man among men! If I am trapped as a girl… Ugh, it's too embarrassing…"

Naruto rested one elbow on the table, that arm's hand holding his face's right side to keep his head from falling tiredly, "Could you stop whining?" he groaned, making Ranma turn at him bewildered by such blunt and unapologetic words, "You can turn into a girl, so what? I can turn into one too with a leaf and you don't listen to me complaining."

Ranma growled, "But it's not by choice. Didn't you listen to me? If I touch cold water, I'll be a chick until I touch hot water. I have to live my life worrying about people knowing this damn secret and… ugh… if it's a man who finds out then…" he slammed his face on the table, "You already saw what happened earlier."

"There must be a cure, a remedy." Hiruzen said, letting out a cloud of smoke from his lips, "I assume that's why you are so intent to return to China, my child." Said boy nodded, "And your father dragged you here to fulfill his part of this arranged marriage?" another nod, "I see. However, I fear I cannot leave to help you."

Naruto groaned, "Come on, old fart. He may complain about it, but you like all that friendship stuff you preach about. Why not help him?"

The elder sternly turned his eyes at the unamused Naruto, "Because of you, Naruto. You are to remain here for three years, complete your studies, and learn to be more like a human. Remember that you will only leave this city with my permission, for I have this."

Ranma's eyes widened when the elder raised a pearl like object. It was a sphere, a gem or a precious crystal beyond any comprehension. It glowed with a natural blue light that made Ranma feel at ease, like he and the world were one and the same.

Naruto widened his eyes, but didn't move, "Oh come on!" the kitsune cried as he threw himself on his back into the ground.

Ranma blinked at the sight of such resignation, "Like I've said, Naruto, you can try to curse my life or take it from me by your hands if you want this orb, but for as long as I hold your Hoshi-no-tama (Star Ball) I want you to become a better person than your father." The old chief said calmly at the demon before him who looked away after seeing the jewel be put back in the old man's robe.

The blond was gave a grunt of weariness before speaking up, "I was born a demon like him, why should I care about being like a human?" he looked tiredly at the ceiling, "I'm me, what else is there?"

"Naruto, you are not your father…" the old man started, and the gaze he gave the fox, a softer, caring set of eyes that looked at him, calmed the kid a bit, "When I found you there, a Kyuubi recently born, I couldn't bring myself to kill you. You're alive, and so long as you are you can change your life and that of others by existing. No matter what you do, to be alive is to change both yourself and the world around you. That is why I want you to be here, to live not as a demon, but as a Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto turned his head away, "Just keep my Hoshi-no-tama safe, or else I'll really curse you even in the afterlife, old fart."

Sarutobi chuckled briefly, "I'll take that as a bet between ourselves." He finally turned to Ranma, "As for you, where will you go, my child?"

Ranma blinked, bringing himself out of the stunned state such a bizarre display brought him, "I'm not sure… I guess I'll try to go back to China now. Wish me luck."

He grabbed his stuff and readied himself, with Naruto staring at his chief, "Would you keep that thing away from me?" Naruto said, referring to the star ball, "If I'm my father's son, then…"

Hiruzen shook his head, "You can control yourself, Naruto, and that is why I am here. You have much to learn, and I will teach you."

Naruto jumped to his feet with a wide grin, "You mean I get to learn new jutsus?! Finally!"

Hiruzen shook his head, "It's not that easy, Naruto. For every new true friend you make, I will grant you a new technique."

Naruto's face met the ground faster than Ranma shoved his pants into his backpack, "Oh come on!"

"I will also see to it that these friendships aren't forced." The elder replied.

And then another knock came to the door, alerting the elder and the boys of someone new, "Naruto-san? Hello? Are you in there?"

Naruto found that voice familiar, "Um… You're…" he bumped his forehead lightly with his fist a couple of times, trying to get something out, "Damn it, I never got your name… Hey, mind if I call you Tennis-chan?"

Said girl was a bit confused, but shook herself out of the confusion, "S-Sure! May I come in? I have to talk to you about Nabiki-san. It is dangerous."

Naruto turned to his chief, who looked both concerned and ready to lash at such a subject, so he opened the door, "What's that witch planning now?"

The plain tennis girl, an average sized Japanese girl with black hair done in two small and thin pigtails, a round face with no distinguishable features except looking cute, and an actually below average body when it came to her three sizes, spoke up, "She… She's setting more fights for you like she did before. Nabiki-san wants to use you to fight more people after seeing you defend me. I… I actually fear it may get dangerous."

Naruto took it all in with slightly raised eyebrows, Sarutobi mentally noted that Naruto had protected this girl, Ranma was about to make his way out, unaware that a panda had followed him after breaking free of his chains, and Tennis-chan was both looking at Naruto and the inside of his home for any signs of that cute redhead she saw with him.

The blond then had to ask, "How dangerous can it be?"

XXXXXX

The next morning, after Ranma left and disappeared yesterday's evening, Naruto went to classes with a school suitcase hefted over his shoulder, his uniform arranged like he wanted, his butterfly knife in one pocket, and a very annoyed stare at the countless students waiting for him with grins of their own and Kuno leading them.

Tennis-chan, who had arrived at the same time he did, hugged her school suitcase to her small, nearly flat chest, "Um… these were the problems I told you about."

Kuno stepped forward, "Uzumaki Naruto, I, Tatewaki Kuno, declare than today and all days to the end of your life, all of Furinkan will hunt you down to get Akane-san's affections!"

Said blond turned to the tennis girl, who jumped back a few feet, "I'm not fighting you! I'm not that strong!"

Naruto sighed and grabbed his forehead, "Well, this should be interesting." He grinned wildly at the students, "This will be a fun challenge! I won't strike any of you at all, but I'll make sure that you regret facing me!"

On the second floor of the school, Nabiki smiled, "I know he will accomplish that little promise, but now… where to expand myself?" she asked herself that with a smirk, almost forgetting who her sister met yesterday and what happened at her home after she collected all the money the students owed her with interests thanks to Naruto, "Uzumaki Naruto and Saotome Ranma… they sound much useful."

She had a mile long smile, pleased with the plans she had, really big plans for them.

**XXXXXX**

**And that's my rap!**

**I hope you enjoyed the fic. And, as you've seen, Nabiki is starting to get way in over her head. You know what they say about power and how it corrupts? Well, I won't make any spoilers, but when Naruto and Nabiki have to face off in a battle of their own, I promise to deliver a nice surprise.**

**Also, for those who wonder, Tennis-chan is based, design-wise, on Tsugumi Harudori from Soul Eater NOT! Her appearance is like Tsugumi's, and her love for girls is still played by me for a few laughs. I didn't expect so many of you to like her, so I decided to throw her a bone, so to speak. Will she get some proper love? Who knows? I don't want to make an OC too important to the plot, just a support.**

**By the way, before you ask, yes, Genma did ambush Ranma when he left the building and took him to the Tendo household.**

**And I hope you all liked the appearance of Sarutobi. Since kitsune value their Hoshi-no-tamas very much, if someone like, say, Happosai or Genma tried to get it that'd be a problem. So, who better than Hiruzen to keep it safe? Because, let's be honest, no matter how strong Happosai may be, he would be splattered into a wall if he made someone like the shinobi from the Naruto-verse mad. Said ninjas are OP when being major characters.**

**Sarutobi will be here as another joke if major character. His role, besides teaching Naruto, is to be the antithesis to Happosai: someone who is overpowered but willingly helps the hero without making them go through Hell for their selfish ambitions.**

And now, my **point of view**:

The whole thing about the Joketsuzoku, the Amazons, being women who just want strong men and don't care anything about them beyond breeding stock is a proven aspect of the fanon. Multiple accounts exist to evidence the fact that the Joketsuzoku want strong men, yes, but also care about them and have places for them in their society just as any strong warrior race would have for their men and women.

And the biggest evidence to prove that is to ask WHY would Cologne waste so much time TRAINING Ranma to be better and teaching him legit secrets of their tribe, if his only fate was to be breeding stock? With that in mind, think of what'd happen if someone were willing to marry Shampoo.

**Swordslinger out!**


	4. Chapter 4

I OWN NOTHING

Being busy, or as busy as any of you may believe I am, I thought to myself to cheer the up by drinking some lead paint and dumb down my already stupid fat ass.

**XXXXXX**

Half the battle

"Tendo, is this name going to haunt me?"

Tennis-chan stared at Naruto, who stood up before a pile of tied up students dumb enough to try their luck with a trickster demonic spirit, her pigtails flowing in the wind which lifted Naruto's jacket slightly, like a cape. Pants, shirts, and even shoelaces had been stolen and used to bring everyone's arms to their backs along their legs, and at times socks got involved as gags. Tatewaki Kuno had been, once again, bested and with Naruto giving less than two wet farts about him.

And the suave asshole pose was broken by a familiar voice, "You!"

Naruto turned to see that the answer to his latest question was answered, "Tell me, does your family have a grudge with me?" Akane had also arrived with a familiar face, "And weren't you headed for China?"

"Long story…" Ranma, as a boy, said with a grunt.

Akane looked at the blond and the pile of students, "You did this? Wait, you know him?!" she asked in shock with a thumb hooked behind her head, aimed to Ranma.

"You know him?" Ranma asked in equal confusion.

Naruto felt like asking, but it'd feel stupid if he did ask whether or not the two black haired teens before him knew each other, so he decided to go with a more logical approach, "I'd like to know how you two know each other. As for your previous, obvious questions, yes, I did meet you two yesterday." He chuckled, "It was a fun waste of time."

Akane pouted with her eyes narrower, "Why do you always act like that?"

Ranma had to nod, "I thought the old man wanted you to be more-"

"Who says I want to do what he says?" Naruto retorted, cutting off Ranma, "Like I've said, I don't like a lot of people. Ranma, though, you are someone I can somewhat stand when you're not whining."

The pigtailed boy had a deadpan stare, "Well, excuse me for trying to be nice to you, Your Highness."

"Listen," Naruto started, scratching the back of his head, "since you two haven't given me any shit besides whatever problems you drag with yourselves, I don't care what you do. Jump off a bridge, get into a swimming race with a blood thirsty shark, bet it all on some loser's card game, or learn how to be less loud. It's your life, and I'm fine with mine."

Kuno, who had managed to wiggle his way by using only his chin, moved to Naruto with the intent to bite him despite his belt tying his arms and legs to his back like he were an animal in a rodeo. The kendo captain was mad, "Naruto Uzumaki, you shall-" he finally noticed Ranma and how close he was to Akane, "You, what're you doing near Akane-"

Ranma stopped Kuno dead in his tracks by poking his forehead with a stick he found nearby, "I should've asked this before, Akane, but what the Hell is up with these groupies of yours. Yesterday Naruto…" he bit his tongue before he could mention himself there and reveal he had been a girl, "Had to fight a platoon of them wanting to date you or something."

Akane looked away, "Oh… Them…" she groaned, looking down, "Blame Kuno-san. Ever since he started it all, the entire school has been attempting to beat me up in order to get a date."

"All this mess because of this asshole, right?" Naruto stated more than asked, his foot on Kuno's head, making him face-plant. "Ever thought of moving to another school?"

Kuno growled by raised his face yet again, glaring at the two boys, "At Furinkan, Akane-san has taken the hearts of many with her beauty and strength. For her hand, we shall all- Hey, stop that, you! My hair will be a mess!" Kuno growled at Ranma, who kept poking him with a stick, as if trying to figure out how he got it so curly.

Akane sighed, replying to Naruto's question, "Furinkan is the only school close to my home, and it's cheap. Besides, I can always take care of everything Kuno-san and the students throw at me."

Naruto remembered the way she pummeled the boys with ease, though then again by his standards anyone who knew how to line his knuckles was on the same level as her contenders, "And what about girls?" he asked, turning to a now embarrassingly red, confused Tennis-chan.

The poor pigtailed tennis girl pulled up her school suitcase to her face, blocking any contact to the Tendo girl she had a crush on. "O-Oh…" Akane said, blushing her into a deep pink, "Um, you see, that's something that caught me by surprise to say the least." She admitted, "I got nothing against her, though. It's usually boys who try to get a shot at me."

Ranma tilted his head, "What am I missing?"

Akane closed her eyes, "Don't ask." She then turned to Naruto, her eyes still narrowed at him, "Anyway, don't think I'm dumb. I know you have some tricks up your sleeves, and I won't let my guard down around you."

Naruto grinned cockily, "Fine by me, an aware target makes my pranks all the more fun to pull off."

Before Akane could retort the bell rang, and so the quartet of a lesbian tennis player, a boy-issue martial arts girl, a gender changing boy, and a demonic fox spirit walked to their class. They did end up arriving late, and the teacher was as forgiving to Ranma for being new as he was with Naruto. In the end, even Tennis-chan had to carry buckets on the hall with small tears in her eyes, and a mild blush at being near a now slightly uncomfortable Akane. And no, the school's number one girl to be dated wasn't uneasy because of the homosexual plain girl, but the blond by the pigtailed boy's side.

Akane was the closest to the door, Ranma was at her side and standing between her and the fox, and Tennis-chan was on the kitsune's other flank. "So how do you two know each other?" Naruto asked the youngest Tendo girl and Ranma, "You arrived together. Knowing the Prince of Idiots, he'll be here any moment now to ask that."

"You mean Kuno-san?" Tennis-chan asked, "Now that you mention it… He does go through inhuman means to be near Akane-san… Not that I could… blame him…" she looked at her feet, her face now the reddest.

"What's your deal then?" Naruto asked, "Kuno's even nuttier than a tanuki's ball-sack, so that's an explanation. But why'd you go with this gorilla in a girl's skin?"

"Excuse me?!" and undignified Akane roared. She felt tempted to throw her bucket, but heard the teacher on the other side of the wall hushing her.

The tennis girl blushed harder, looking down, "I want to have an Onee-sama… You know, a big sis for me. A girl who acts like a big sister and is strong but loves tenderly…" her blush intensified and steam could be seen coming out of her ears, "I always dreamed of being held by a strong big sis, to be loved by her and held tightly in her toned and soft feminine arms…"

"And you wanted that from me?!" Akane asked in shock, nearly letting her buckets fall while Ranma still looked confused.

Tennis-chan blushed harder, "I-I know it was dumb but… I couldn't help it!" her ears were red, "I feel weak… I am weak…" her voice dropped considerably, and her bangs shadowed her eyes, "So I wanted someone beautiful, strong, and full of feminine charm to keep me safe…" her eyes wandered off into the distance, "I want to have an Onee-sama because girls always know each other best, and… I am a weirdo, I guess."

Ranma blinked, "Well, you kind of are. After all, you want to go after Akane of all people."

Said girl was about to snap, but Tennis-chan beat her to the point, "D-Don't say stuff like that!" she shouted, nearly letting go of her buckets with her face inches from Ranma's, "I know I went for appearances but… I wanted to try, ok?!" she closed her eyes, and a defeated moan could be heard. "Besides… I always found boys to not be my type… I guess I find them too weird…"

Naruto groaned, "Speaking of being weird and being with Akane..." the fox looked at the odd duo, "Why're you together for? And I mean to ask how you two know each other already."

Akane blinked, "It's a long story… And my father's to blame…" she muttered the last part to herself, but Naruto picked it up.

He then looked at Ranma who had a defeated look, "My father caught up to me when I left your house, ok? The less said about it, the better… Sneaky bastard…" he cursed under his breath.

The fox tilted his head, "How the Hell do you miss a four hundred pound panda looming close to you?"

The pigtailed boy clenched and unclenched his jaw, "He attacked me when I had my guard down, all to get me to do what he wanted."

"As for me…" Akane started with a sight, "I was just minding my own business at home, until he appeared and everything changed."

Ranma growled, "What'd you expect from me? It was raining. It's not my fault you mistook me for… Never mind that."

Akane turned her head away, "I swear...just because of our fathers signing that stupid contract..."

It was akin to being thrown a bucket of cold water at your face, "You two are engaged?!" Naruto asked upon connecting the dots, stepping back once he concluded his shout.

You people can pretty much imagine the school's shock as the odd group's classroom erupted from the windows to ask questions with shock and hatred on their faces. Several girls seemed to be jealous, which surprised the blond fox but then again humans and their tastes weren't important to him. What did get his attention was the students stopping their paparazzi-like questioning at the sound of footsteps.

And there he was, Tatewaki Kuno, looking ready to murder anyone and their dog, "How dare you?!" he asked, finally letting loose his anger with a mad dash at the pigtailed boy who jumped over the strike. Upon missing, he turned to Naruto. The kitsune was forced to cross his arms in front of his chest to absorb the power of the stab, and clenched his jaw when he felt his bones nearly crack.

'_Damn it, I underestimated a human's strength…_' the blond inwardly groaned, angrier with himself for not being ready than at Kuno's strike.

The curly haired swordsman raised his wooden blade, "How fortunate… Not only will I take down the demon plaguing my school and mocking everyone here…" he said with his glare aimed at Naruto before turning his hateful eyes at Ranma, "But I also get to rid Akane-san of a great mistake in her life!"

Ranma turned to the closest thing he had for a friend, the fox spirit, "Is he always like that?"

Naruto shrugged with a smirk, "Hey, by now I find it almost adorable…" his expression was forced. He knew Kuno could hit harder than he let on, so he wanted to really piss him off, make his moves sloppier.

The kendo captain rushed at the blond, swinging his wooden sword yet again. Naruto prepared himself for a strike, but was surprised by what he saw next. Ranma had dashed before him and swung his leg at the blunt weapon, slamming his foot on the side and using the momentum to bring it down on the ground. The observing students gasped at seeing yet another person who could give Kuno a run for his money.

Ranma smiled, clearly amused, "You're good, but if you want me to be honest, there's no way you can win against either of us."

Kuno pulled back his sword and started to show off his katas. By dancing beautifully, the curly haired swordsman moved around his weapon in swift arcs to try to strike Ranma. The gender bending boy showed off his own mastery on the arts of battle by dashing backwards away from the first strike, side-stepping the second while simultaneously leaning backwards to avoid a follow-up attack that didn't even waste a second. Naruto for his part stayed behind and observed the moves the two displayed, his right hand itching for his butterfly knife in his pants pocket the more he watched the kendo fanatic and dedicated martial artist move.

Things ended with the two forced to run off to avoid causing damage to the school beyond repair. The students followed them, except for Naruto whose eyes stared off into space, his mind running wild with the moves. He knew that Ranma could defeat Kuno without breaking a sweat, so he turned around, playing and replaying in his mind the moves he saw, twisting them, crafting them into something different.

XXXXXX

After classes, Naruto was strolling outside the large school building without a care in the world. All right, maybe a few things bothered him such as getting hit by a human that he had beaten more than once without delivering a single punch, the moves said human and Ranma displayed, and someone else. He held back his breath while turning around to see that he was being followed by someone he thought wouldn't do so.

"What're you doing, Tennis-chan?" he asked, an eyebrow arched.

She clutched her own school suitcase to her flat chest, looking down, "Sorry, but I'd like to walk with you." she turned her head around, looking for something or someone, "You're not as mean as others, so…"

He squinted his eyes, like a fox, examining what was before him, "So you want me to escort you around? What do you think I am, a bodyguard?" he barely stopped a growl from leaving his throat, "I'm not that kind. I also have a great dislike for weaklings who just give up without a damn to give. And here you are, asking me for help, just because I could fight someone you couldn't."

Each word was like a knife, cold, precise, sharp, and yet even if she knew it, she had to say it, "Please…" her voice came out so meek she felt like sinking into the ground to never be seen again, but she continued, "Please, help me, Naruto-san… I don't want to be alone…"

Naruto turned around, making her heart sink like a stone, and her heart beat stop when he didn't give a single step forward, "Just… don't slow me down." He groaned, to which she beamed. Tennis-chan followed close behind with her beaming smile getting brighter. It was actually stunning how much being happy changed her from plain to actually kind of cute.

On an alley, waiting for her, someone familiar spoke up, "Hey, there's the freak. Get ready to… oh shit…" he paled.

The Akane fan boys looked at their friend's horrified, bandaged face, "What's the matter?"

Their leader gulped, "Uzumaki's with her…" The other bullies sucked in a gasp when seeing Naruto pass by the alley and, in one brief second, flash them a glare with his teeth bared and his right hand slowly but surely pulling out the butterfly knife. The bullies didn't waste a second to book it out, to which Naruto let out an annoyed "tsk" before turning to the pigtailed tennis girl following him closely.

"Can you hurry up?" he asked impatiently, ignoring the fact the much smaller girl couldn't keep up not because of laziness, "This place kind of smells good… The ramen must be top class…" he said, his nose flaring at the smell of the punks that left the alley with their pants covered in terrified wee, but they also focused on the miso bowls, "I think I'll take this same route tomorrow…"

"Oh, ok…" She said, not knowing that it wasn't the ramen the only reason Naruto would take this path. But he didn't care if him being there would work to keep her haters away, which he didn't mind, no, not at all, and it wasn't why he was rubbing the back of his head in frustration. He was doing it for the ramen, damn it!

It didn't take long and Naruto finally was bid goodbye by the girl. She raced to some extra tennis classes she had, and he moved to the opposite direction with a few thoughts, "Ranma's martial arts aren't normal." he mumbled and jumped into the air, pulling out his butterfly knife in a split second and slashing at the air, "And Idiot Prince's moves are decent at least." He said upon bringing down the blade on a can on the floor, splitting it in half with a grin, "Guess humans have their uses…"

He took his ninjutsu stance, but this time his knife was held like one would hold a normal blade, instead of his inverted grip. But not feeling happy with the stance, the blond lowered his right hand with the knife a bit, nearer to his lower ribs, and kept his left hand up. Thinking back on how he saw Ranma and Kuno move, he dashed forward with an imaginary enemy in front of him sending an attack his way, so the fox spun around on his toes and delivered a backhanded strike with his left hand accompanied by a swift slash.

He chuckled at the move and pocketed the knife with a satisfied smirk.

His joy was short-lived at the sound of a distressed male voice, "No, I know this tree. I should turn left." The owner said and turned right.

Naruto stared at this guy. He reminded him of Ranma, in his male form, at least appearance wise. He had short black hair, no braided pigtail though he had a yellow headband. He also had a yellow gi of sorts with white trimming, a white belt which kept it closed, black kung fu pants with leather laces around his shins, and black kung fu shoes. What did intrigue Naruto of this guy was the massive backpack he carried effortlessly on his shoulders along a Chinese umbrella that looked to sturdy to be made for stopping rain only.

'_The Hell's this guy? He smells human but…_'

"I got it!" the boy said as he faced a wall, "Now I can't get lost, this is the way I remember. I just have to turn right…" and he turned left, towards Naruto.

The fox's mouth was opened, and he looked half strangled with sweat building on his face. It was hard to describe a human like this one as anything but idiotic. But… "Stop." He told the boy, who did as told to stare at him. "Where are you even going, you fool?" he asked tiredly. '_Honestly, he's trying to get somewhere so ineptly I feel like I have to correct this for the world's sake or something…_'

The boy crossed his arms, clearly not fond of Naruto's tone, and frowned at him with what looked like a fang popping out one corner of his mouth, "Why do you want to know? As a matter of fact, what do you think you are, some sort of bandit?"

Naruto palmed his forehead, '_Remember, Sarutobi will have your ass on a platter if you fight for no reason, and I sure as Hell won't die until having that witch of Nabiki beg for mercy in her own game…_' he took a deep breath, not used to calming himself, but he tried, "I just felt stupid watching you get lost so easily. I think you may really make people stupid by being around them." Then again, diplomacy was not his forte.

The boy growled, getting on the fox's face, "Are you picking up a fight?" he reached for his umbrella.

And it was tempting. Truly tempting, for Naruto felt his hands itching for a fight, but… "I'm stating the obvious: you're lost, idiot."

The lost boy bared his teeth, "Then why're you insulting me?!"

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose. At least Kuno tried to attack him first, but this guy wasn't. Sarutobi would know if Naruto started the fight or not, and right now it looked like it. The blond desired to slap the boy before him so hard that his sense of direction would start working again, but he knew it was impossible.

So he went all out with his blunt honesty, "I'm just an asshole." He stated, confusing the lost wanderer first before said yellow clad boy grew angrier thinking it was a joke, "I'm not pulling your leg here, I just state things how I see them, and I ain't pulling my punches when saying someone's acting like an idiot." He stood tall, "Do you even know where you're going?"

The boy looked a bit sheepish at first but quickly recovered, "That doesn't matter! I'm just looking for someone who ruined my life!"

Naruto cocked his head to one side, "Would it happen to be a brunette with the mind of a devil, the heart of a demon, and a body stacked to the ceiling?"

The raven haired boy stepped back, "No, but I never thought there'd be such monsters here…" he said, picturing a completely different thing than Naruto was describing.

The fox sighed, "Then I don't know who else could have caused you problems… Unless it's a complete idiot with a fancy hairdo, a wooden sword, and a habit for making long speeches."

"Well, I am looking for an idiot, and it's a guy too, but it doesn't sound like what you're describing." The lost boy replied sincerely.

Naruto nodded tiredly, "Ok… Damn it, I thought you may have some information that could have worked on that witch… You do look like the guy she'd have as prey." He didn't mean it as a compliment, but the other boy didn't know so he was saved.

"I see. Sounds like you have your hands full…" the lost wanderer stated, "Though you're still too rude."

Naruto shrugged, "It's the only thing people learn from growing around others."

The yellow clad boy winced, "Wow, that is… dark…" he sighed, "Anyway, I got no time to waste. I have to find that panda and-"

"Panda?!" Naruto asked, his head gears clicking, "Wouldn't it happen to have a beautiful redhead girl with him, pull signs that say what it thinks, and be an annoying bastard to deal with?"

The lost boy's eyes darkened, "Then you know who I must be talking about…" he growled, clenching a fist, "Because of him, I've seen Hell itself! An infernal pit of misery, hatred and woe!"

Naruto sweated slightly, '_Geesh, how much can that ball of fur and fat ruin a life?_'

The fox was shaken out of his bewildered state by the boy's hand grabbing his shoulder, "If you know him, guide me to him!"

Naruto shrugged, "Sorry, I haven't asked where he lives… And no, that's not a joke." He added the last part upon seeing the boy narrow his eyes, "I did see him yesterday, gave the idiot a beating that I feel was too short, and left him to rot. Sadly, he got loose from the chains I put on him to skin the bastard." He seriously wanted that stew, fattening or not, "And here I am, wondering why I can't get my mitts on him."

The boy looked at him, seeing no maliciousness in his attitude and hearing no falsehood in his voice, "I see. But do you think you could find him for me?" he gripped his umbrella tighter.

"You're not the only one that wants a piece of him or claims to have the right to kill that guy, man." Naruto stated, hands in his pockets, "Like I've said, I want to skin him, and that's much smaller in comparison to what someone else must want to do to him."

The boy stared at him, "You actually, really want to skin him? Are you a yakuza?"

Naruto scoffed, "Do I look like an idiot playing peacock in a fancy suit to you?"

"Boy, I will take offense to that…"

Naruto cringed and slowly turned around to see, indeed, yakuza, members of the Japanese mafia known for taking their jobs so seriously that they forced members of their criminal families to take written tests, chopped the fingers of anyone who acted shamefully, and could and would force someone to eat his own testicles on sushi rolls if they felt that twisted.

Their apparent leader had a golden baseball bat slung over one shoulder with a black leather handle, a feather jacket which was opened to show heavy tattoos of demons, red and tight leather pants, and white cowboy boots. He was also bald, and had a gimp mouth-mask covered everything below his nose while a zipper in the shape of a smile let out his yellow teeth to show a smirk.

The lost boy crossed his arms, "What do you want?" he asked as he stood by Naruto's side, surprising the kitsune.

The boss aimed his heavy looking bat at the blond, "I'd like to see pretty boy's mouth open more to say everything he wants to say about us…" one of his men, all wore normal black and white suits, pulled out a katana. "I'd say cutting both his cheeks to give him a wider smile would work… It did for me…" he pulled off his mask, showing a large smile-shaped scar on his cheeks, a Glasgow Smile.

Naruto pulled out his knife, getting into the stance he learned from watching Kuno and Ranma fight, "It's good to listen to you say this shit, it means I can't hold back against you."

The leader of the yakuza glowed red with rage, "Cocky little shit! Waste him!" he shouted, aiming his bat at the blond.

The kitsune then turned to the yellow clad boy, "Step back, you don't want blood on your clothes…" and he trailed off as the boy pulled out his large umbrella and slammed it on the katana. What he saw next was surreal even for a fox spirit. The blade broke, it shattered into many small pieces, and soon the yakuza's nose followed suit as he was sent flying backwards, blood shooting out of his messed up nostrils.

The fanged boy smirked, putting his umbrella back on his large backpack before cracking his knuckles, "Sorry, but I need this guy to get to someone who has made me see horrors beyond anything you can do."

Naruto smirked, "I like your style… What's your name?"

"Ryoga Hibiki."

"Naruto Uzumaki… Now let's get to the fun!" he shouted as he lunged at one of the yakuza while Ryoga dashed at them with a fist reared back.

Eager for trying his new moves, Naruto went at one of the yakuza going in for a stab. Remembering Kuno's footing yet again, Naruto spun around on his toes away from the strike, and with Ranma's strikes in mind he used the momentum to backhand the yakuza with one hand on the face and deliver a swift slash at the arm holding the sword to get him to drop it. But deciding to cut loose a bit more before he reared back his right leg and smashed its foot on the suited criminal's face, getting to kick his teeth in, mimicking one of Ranma's kicks.

Ryoga for his part showed an incredible, beyond human brute force. He had sunk his fist into one of the yakuza, and the other gangsters could see the boy's knuckles nearly going all the way through the mobster's back. The unfortunate thug shot spit out of his mouth along his breath, his tongue hung out, and his eyes rolled to the back of his head for what seemed like an eternity. And then time continued, which shot him backwards into the other yakuza, knocking them off like bowling pins.

The two boys turned to the remaining men in suits, ready for battle. And so, five minutes of a very one-sided beating later, the yakuza were on the ground, their leader had lost all his teeth, and Naruto had seen two with their face on the ground, unconscious near the other. He snickered and grabbed one thug's arm, and put it on the other gangster's ass. Once that was said and done, Ryoga stared confused as the blond took the mobsters' money and their leader's bat which was still in perfect condition after Ryoga kicked it off the man's hands which Naruto took as his opportunity to plant both feet on the gimp's face.

"Are you sure you're not a yakuza?" Ryoga asked while Naruto pocketed the money and put the bat into his jacket, inside a special scroll for emergencies.

Naruto groaned and handed Ryoga a handful of bills, "Here are fifty thousand yens. They're all yours."

Ryoga blinked in surprise, "What for?"

Naruto shrugged, "You beat like half of them, so take the money and shut up." Ryoga was dumbfounded but took the cash, already having figured out what food to buy with it when he had the chance while Naruto pocketed the rest, "Hey," the blond started, "I've said you're pretty stupid, and I still believe so."

Ryoga was understandably mad, "Where did that come from?!" he was about to punch the blond but the fox continued.

"But since you want to take out that bastard…" he crossed his arms, eyes shut in deep meditation, which made him look even more like a cartoonish fox, "I guess I can't let you stay lost. That guy deserves all the pain coming his way for everything he has done." He then shrugged, "I guess he pisses me off so much, I'll let you being another example of humanity slide," if only Ryoga knew what the fox spirit thought of mankind he'd be mad, "and let you stay with me… And for the love of all you praise as holy, don't make me regret it."

Ryoga's eyes widened, "Whoa, where did this change of heart come from?"

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe I hung around you enough to get stupider."

"Hey!"

"Just shut up and follow me. Hell… I feel like actually buying you food." He said with a smirk, "Don't ruin my appetite after such a good day."

Ryoga stared at the blond and followed him – all the while Naruto made sure he was close to the eternally lost boy and more than once pulled him in the right direction – and wondered what kind of man the blond was, '_I never expected to meet someone this crooked yet whimsically kind._'

They sat at one of the ramen stands Naruto saw while taking Tennis-chan home, "Hey, old man, two miso bowls for me!"

The man at the counter scoffed, "Fine, fine, I'll get it for ya, punk. What about your friend?" Naruto narrowed his eyes at the last word.

Ryoga blinked three times in a row, looking around before gasping in surprise at discovering the chef must have talked about him since only the two boys were at the place, "Um… beef."

The chef nodded and started cooking while Naruto inwardly groaned, '_Friend? Since when do I have or need friends?_'

After eating, the two boys arrived, mostly by forcing Ryoga to follow someone who knew where to go, to greet a stupefied Sarutobi, "Yo, old monkey."

"Good evening." Ryoga said, giving a polite bow to the elder.

Sarutobi blinked, "Wait," he started, put down a manga he was reading which had a picture of a boxer that happened small teenager with ruffled black hair, and stared at the sight before him, "Naruto… Are you actually making friends?" he asked, his eyes narrowed at the fox spirit.

"As if." The blond defiantly stated, "This guy wants to kill the pest we talked about here yesterday. Remember him?" Sarutobi gave a serious nod, "And what're you doing reading manga?"

The old man coughed into his first, "Well, I decided to see how boys your age are, and the man at the bookstore told me to check it out. You do need to find friends by being yourself, not by force." He gave Ryoga a curious stare, "But answer me this, boy, what brought you to follow someone as blunt and tactless as Naruto of all people? Is it really revenge?"

Naruto glared at his description while Ryoga nodded, "Yes, because thanks to that man…" he sat on the coffee table, sighing, "My life will never be the same after what he put me through… I don't expect you to believe my story or take me seriously, but you look like a good man, sir. Very much unlike your grandson."

"Hey, don't relate me to this old fart!" Naruto growled.

Sarutobi sighed, taking his pipe, ready to light it, "As he said, but in a less crude manner, we are not related. I'm Naruto's guardian. But that doesn't matter, um… Sorry, I didn't ask for your name." The boy quickly introduced himself, "I see, Ryoga… Well, Ryoga, you can try us. Naruto and I are far from what you could call average."

Ryoga sighed and saw a glass of water on the table. "Do me a favor, get hot water ready… and when you see this curse, pour it into what you will see." He gritted his teeth but slowly and surely slid his fingers into it. Soon the old chief and the fox were looking at Ryoga's clothing on the floor. His entire outfit laid flatly on the ground with a visible if small bulge moved inside.

And from it… came out a little, underline 'little' black pig with Ryoga's bandana tied on its neck.

"Those cursed springs again?!" Naruto cried, "Wait…" he connected the dots in his own way, picturing a fat panda kicking Ryoga into a pool of water and laughing before taking a dreamy redhead over his shoulder while the little pig drowned, "That bastard did this, didn't he?!" he asked, slamming his hands on the table.

The little pig jumped up and nodded energetically, which Sarutobi took as his cue to light his pipe and take a deep breath of burnt tobacco, "This is troubling. Not once did I listen of these springs, and yet here's another victim to their curse. These are, indeed, sad stories to listen to." He put his pipe on the glass of water, watching as the liquid slowly burned from the heat of his pipe before pouring the contents on the little pig.

And there was Ryoga… naked, "Sorry about this…" the boy said as he embarrassingly put his clothes back on, "I change, but my clothes do not."

Naruto's mind went back to Ranma, and he had to hold back a leer at the idea that the redhead version of the martial artist had no bra inside, but shook his head, "Well, that sucks, stuck as a piece of bacon."

Ryoga cringed, "Don't say that, I already have issues with being a pig."

Naruto nodded, "It must suck that people may want to cook you alive and-" and Sarutobi cut him off by smacking the back of his head with his pipe, "Ow! That hurts and burns!" the blond cried, tiny tears in his eyes as he rubbed the sore and heated up spot on his skull.

Sarutobi had one eye opened into a small glare, "Like I've said, you are indeed tactless, Naruto." He turned to Ryoga, letting out a cloud of smoke, "Hmm… Hibiki-san…" said boy turned to the old man, "I'd like you to give me some time to look into these cursed springs. I may find some useful information while I am here out of my personal library. However, I do fear this research may not work unless I see and study them myself."

Ryoga's face split into an amazed smile, "You mean it?"

Sarutobi raised his hands, "I will try my best to find a way to help you, my boy. Yet I wouldn't keep my hopes up. Curses such as this aren't easy to undo."

Ryoga nodded, "No matter what you may find, I'm willing to do it, Sarutobi-san!" he bowed deeply to the elder, making him chuckle.

"See, Naruto? You can learn so much from having friends like Hibiki-san, such as having manners." Said blond glared at the old monkey.

XXXXXX

The next day, Naruto left Ryoga at his place with specific orders for the lost traveler boy to remain there and not going out, mainly because he had to ask himself how could one get lost in such a small house on his way to the bathroom or the living room. It would be funny if it weren't so painful to watch. The demonic fox spirit may say he felt pity, but he'd state the truth: Ryoga was something so sad to see it literally hurt to even glance at the yellow clad wanderer get lost. Which didn't mean pity, not at all.

As he approached Furinkan, he readied himself with one hand reaching for the bat he acquired yesterday, ready to try some of the moves he saw Kuno and Ranma use with a weapon longer than his butterfly knife. If the students now wanted to face and kill him then he'd be willing to make them feel pain.

That was his happy thought… which crumbled like a house of cards before a typhoon at the sight of all students ignoring him, "Oh, it's Naruto-san…" one male student said, walking passed him.

"Confused?"

Naruto would never mistake that melodious, devilish voice, "What did you do? Did you finally break everyone's mind here?"

She giggled, "As fun as that sounds, I am afraid you have no idea. It is no fun to have little to no challenge either." Nabiki smirked while walking closer to Naruto.

He sneered, "Then what's going on? And don't play games."

Nabiki extended a hand to her side, showing more students, male students, resume their everyday activities, "They're all broken already having seen that they now literally have no chance to get into Akane's panties, at least in a legal manner." She then smirked as she pulled, to Naruto's disgust, pictures of said sister of hers in revealing outfits, her undies, and training in a loose gi which was opened enough to show cleavage, "So I'm getting a lot more cash out of selling these, the closest these guys will ever have to being with her."

"How much of a monster are you?" he finally asked, tired of her bullshit.

Nabiki smirked, "In this life you learn to look only for yourself. Sad, isn't it?" her smile said she was not sad, so she skipped to Naruto and pressed a finger to his chest, "I'd say you know that as well as I do."

He swatted her hand aside, "You and I are nothing alike, devil woman." He turned around and walked to classes.

Nabiki pressed one hand to her cheek, smirking at him, "So hard to get… I guess that's what will make this fun." She then noticed more male students who were heartbroken and walked to them, reaching into her skirt for pictures of Akane… only to find a paper, "What…?" she asked, an eyebrow barely arched at what she saw.

The paper was accompanied by a picture of a fox sitting on top of a cartoonish version of the broker, and the words "Too smart for you" were written in bright red. She finally turned to Naruto, seeing him hold several photographs and dutifully tearing them apart into confetti. He then turned to her when he let the pieces, now smaller than flies, be blown into the wind and scattered all over. He smirked in triumph and went to classes.

She watched him go and couldn't help but raise her palms and clap slowly with a playful smile, "Well played, foxy. Well played…" she then hummed to herself, "But, if what I've heard is true, then he has the yakuza after him…" she couldn't help but laugh, "If he fights them, then it's sure he has more than a chance of winning."

She did like the possibilities the fox brought, she liked them far too much.

**XXXXXX**

**And that's my rap!**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. So here Ryoga is introduced, finally, and meets our kitsune. Said fox won't be caught dead calling someone his friend, though, but he shows, like Star Lord in the Guardians of the Galaxy movie would say, that he is not a hundred percent a dick.**

**As for Gimp-san, the yakuza leader, I will leave his purpose for you guys to try to figure out… But, yes, you can see that Nabiki's setting the bar higher and higher.**

**Swordslinger out!**


	5. Chapter 5

I OWN NOTHING

Trust a reliable and wise old writer like me with the seriousness you must when I give you this advice for the sake of your life: never mix meth with your orange juice after brushing your teeth.

AN to Redripper666: This story has a slow boil. I'm setting things for bigger events, doing such by having Nabiki biting bigger and bigger metaphorical chewing gum before it pops in her face. Trust me, it is more satisfying when a villain is smug about a lot of things before they get their just desserts, and get them she will, believe in me. As for Naruto, he's just settling in, wait until the real Ranma loonies appear.

I had this same kind of conversation with Thugs Bunny 009 who complained about how I wrote Nabiki. Thing is, this Naruto will NOT take her shit. Sadly, some readers jumped to conclusions and are pointing fingers at me, saying that I'll let her get away with crap such as enslavement without keeping an open mind that this story is still getting started and that there's more to come to change things. Just be patient guys, and if you want to discuss things with me at least enable your PMs so we can talk, Redripper666.

AN2: Before anyone asks Naruto's power level, and before anyone makes the obvious joke, no, it's not over nine thousand… Ahem… Naruto here is less skilled than Ranma when it comes to fighting, shown by how he prefers to trick his opponents and play dirty. He is however physically stronger than Ranma in his male form, and slightly faster than female Ranma. He is not physically stronger than Ryoga, though. But he makes up for all these weaknesses with his sheer will to win, his ability to learn, and his over nine thousand ways of cheating… Ok, bad joke is bad, I'll go eat some space cake now.

**XXXXXX**

Half one's courage

"You look lively."

The tired Ranma wasn't in the mood to humor the fox's smug face, so he sat down on his desk, "Can it. Kuno's bad enough, I don't need your wise-cracks this early in the morning."

Naruto leaned back on his desk with a smirk, "Hey, you're still complaining? Man, I should dub you Ranma the Whiner." He kicked his feet on top of his desk, "I'll admit, though, you're the most fun I have around. Considering you're going to have to marry one of the shit magnets this school handed me, I'm eager to see what fun you could throw my way for a good fight."

Ranma groaned, "Goodness gracious alive, you're right…" he slammed his face on his desk, "Ever since I've been training with my father my life has been nothing but Hell, a pit of misery, horror and woe…"

Naruto chuckled, "I heard someone say those exact words… And he said he wanted a piece of your father."

Ranma lifted his head with a stern glare, "Tell him to get in line."

Naruto shrugged, "Who do you take me for? I called dibs on a go after you're done with the bastard. I'll just leave enough for this guy to perhaps make himself a decent coat, and maybe share some stew with him."

Ranma blinked, "You… You made a friend?" his mind felt like it had exploded and imploded simultaneously at hearing such a thing.

Naruto snorted, giving his cocky grin, "As if! Who needs friends? I'm fine just how I am. I'm as strong as I am, no matter what the old fart may want to teach me. I can get stronger on my own."

The pigtailed boy cringed at such nonchalant statement, "That attitude can't be good for you." he then stared sternly at the fox, "If anything… It sounds like you're full of shit."

The kitsune returned the stare, "I can say the same about you. You're still here instead of in a trip to China."

"Almost the same reasons you're stuck here." Ranma shot back, silencing the now glaring fox. The two took a deep breath and let it out as a sigh, "Listen, let's try not to give each other shit… I can sympathize with you for a bit, and that old man Sarutobi is someone I'd like to see again if he can help me."

Naruto scoffed, "Thanks but no thanks. Besides, the old fart can't do much without seeing those springs himself, and he ain't letting me go until he has made sure I spend three years here." He closed his eyes after seeing Ranma's disheartened look, "But he's got an expensive and ridiculously large library of his own. If something's been written about that water, it has to be there."

He turned away to avoid seeing Ranma happy, "I ought to visit him soon, then."

Naruto groaned, "Give it a rest. He has yet to start reading, and we have a guest… Don't ask." He said quickly after seeing Ranma's questioning look, "It's the same guy that wants a piece of your old fart."

Ranma cocked his head to the side, but didn't look surprised, "How did my Pops piss him off? So far I have my reasons to kill him slowly and painfully, but anyone holding a grudge against him must have a reason."

Naruto opened his mouth and then closed it, "Fuck, I didn't ask him the entire details…" he turned to Ranma, "I'll tell you today after I track your old man down."

Ranma arched a brow, "Track him? Why didn't you ask me? I-"

"I know he lives at the Tendo dojo." Naruto said, "I tracked you yesterday after meeting the freeloader." Ryoga sneezed back at Naruto's place, making Sarutobi's eyes leave the boxing manga he was reading before the boy waved it off as nothing and continued cooking to earn his stay at the apartment that the old monkey was paying in the first place.

The martial artist's eyes widened, "You did what?!"

Naruto shrugged, "I know your father is an asshole, so I kept an eye on him. What'd you expect from me? I'm trained as a ninja." Ranma paused, finding it impossible to come up with a witty or any intelligent retort besides how wrong it was but the fox would shrug off the morality, "He's the bald, fat idiot, right?"

Ranma nodded, "Yes, that's him, Genma Saotome."

"I've seen him at that house most of the time, but he does go out to either follow you around-" Ranma bitterly remembered how he got slapped for back-talking to Akane by his father "-or goes to enjoy himself."

"Wait, how?!" Ranma asked, slamming his hands on Naruto's desk. The fox was thankful that they were in their break, "With what money?!"

Naruto aimed a finger at Ranma, "You're his money, which means the money he gets from your marriage."

The pigtailed boy's hand greeted his forehead, "Why am I even getting surprised by this?"

Naruto crossed his arms, sneering, "And you still don't want me to skin him."

The fox's stare was met with a stern glance, "Like I've said, I'm the one who should do that. Besides… It kind of creeps me out what you'd use the fur for." He admitted slightly nervous.

"That's my business." The fox replied, "Anyway, I'll keep tracking the guy for a while to know where he goes…" he took out a paper and drew on it a big circle with the word 'jerkoff' written on it, "That's when I'll find a good corner…" he drew a square around the jerkoff circle, "and then no more panda." He crossed the circle.

A simple plan, but it sounded effective, except for one part, "You still can't kill him."

Naruto scoffed, arms crossed once again, "Come on, just a little. He deserves it after the things I've heard and seen." He leaned back on his seat, counting with his fingers, "He's pretty much mooching off that mustached lazy-ass guy at the dojo, using that tall brunette as a maid of sorts to get fed and have his bath ready, and he is forcing you to marry someone against your will."

"Not like this is the first stupid contract I've heard of." He sighed at the fox spirit's bewildered look, "Long stories, don't ask. They're shameful enough."

"Not as shameful as what Kuno did yesterday." Naruto replied with a snicker.

Ranma's eyes widened, "You saw?!" he slammed his hands on the fox's desk.

Naruto grinned, "I said I tracked you and your dad, of course I wouldn't miss-"

"Don't say a thing." Ranma whispered harshly while his hands clamped the fox's mouth shut, keeping him mute.

Naruto pushed him back, "Like I'd say something that stupid. I did laugh my ass off, but I'm not like the witch in this school. I wouldn't sell something like that in any way or form."

The pigtailed boy let out a long, tired sigh as he plopped down on his seat before the fox, "Thank you…"

The gold kitsune felt his eyebrows wiggle at that, "There you go again, thanking me for shit you shouldn't. Honestly, if you're going to do that every time I feel like doing something, don't bother."

"Must you always be so rude to people?" the two boys turned to the voice's owner, Akane whose eyes were narrowed on the fox's, "When someone is being nice to you, you shouldn't treat them like dirt."

Naruto turned around on his seat to face the girl, "Then answer me this, gorilla-chan." He started, ignoring the girl's glare, "Why should you thank someone who doesn't care what you think of them or even wants your gratitude? And don't say that you do it because it's the right thing or you're taught about that? I'll wait for you to tell me it's not a waste of time."

"Then why do you reject our gratitude when we just don't mind being kind?" she retorted.

He narrowed his eyes and grumbled a bit, "I asked first." He was getting tired of how stubborn this girl could be.

"If you can't answer me, why should I answer you?" she asked back.

"That should be my line, you brute of a gorilla!" he shouted, silencing the room and making the teacher step back outside.

Akane started to glow with furious flames around her body, "Why're you…" she started, sending her palm at him, "such a jerk?!"

She was surprised when the blond didn't flinch or step back, or even get hit. The pigtailed boy nearly choked on his own gasp when the kitsune was seen holding Akane's wrist with her palm inches from his face, "If you want to hit me, make sure you can keep up with Ranma. Then you may have a chance." He said coldly, pushing back her hand.

Angrier now, Akane kicked at Naruto, who swiftly jumped over her leg and landed on a desk with a smirk on his face to taunt the girl, and then adding a 'bring it' motion with his index finger to add fuel to the fire. Ranma watched it all with wide, examining eyes. The more Akane moved, the more Naruto dodged her attacks. The wider her swings, the bigger effort the fox put into getting away, or so it seemed.

He could see the blond spirit's feet dancing on the floor as he evaded Akane. Comparing the moves, it was obvious that Akane wasn't as skilled as either of the boys, but seeing her tactics added something to ponder. She kept her ground and didn't move much out of her range, trying to remain in place and only moving when her opponent did, which Naruto countered by seemingly moving even more to stay away of her strikes.

The more he saw these moves, the more Ranma saw himself as a shadow fighting the two, keeping his ground and delivering strikes close to his body while his feet kept him near his enemy.

Finally the match ended with a slightly winded Akane giving a punch wider than she intended when she saw the fox move, for she tried to strike him while he dodged. He surprised her when he didn't step back, he dashed right into her swing, passed her fist, and stood before her with a smirk. He leaned dangerously close to her.

"That was a fun warm-up." He said smugly, "Next time you want to try your luck, I'll be wherever you want me to."

And before Akane could retort, someone very expected did, "How dare you?!"

Naruto saw a flash of red, yellow and green psychedelic colors flash before his eyes from the powerful stab of a wooden sword to his head. He cursed and struggled to slam one foot down, using the stomp to keep himself from falling and stare back with nausea in his stomach from the blow. The trauma made light and colors dance before his eyes, and a ringing sound that was nearly like chirping clouded his senses.

But he made out who hit him, and he didn't need a clue to know who it had been, "Don't you ever give up?" Naruto asked, before touching the sore spot on his head, surprised to not see blood. He was also surprised, though he blamed it on the dancing lights, to see what could have been Akane shocked and worried of the blow he took, or perhaps she was glad he got hit. He didn't know, all he knew was that the world was spinning around too much from a strike he should have been prepared for.

Kuno readied his sword, "I will teach you discipline, Uzumaki Naruto!" he then stared heatedly at the blond, "I will commend you on standing up after my best stab to date, but know that I, Tatewaki Kuno, shall-"

"You talk too much!" Ranma's voice reached Naruto's ears as the gender changing martial artist dashed at Kuno, jumped, and lashed a leg at the wooden blade.

Kuno growled as he was not only feeling strain from parrying the attack, but he also got pushed back by the arrogant boy he tried to kill before finding a wonderful, drop dead gorgeous redheaded girl that he would have to make the mother of his children were it not for Akane… or maybe he could stay loyal and remain with Akane, but the redhead…

And it was then that Kuno found his pants missing, courtesy of a now more focused Naruto. The blond then had grabbed the swordsman's hakama and tied them out around his ankles. A swift yank was all it took to put Kuno off-balance. The students knew their kendo captain was heading towards a painful face-plant, but Ranma saw a chance he took. Before Kuno could register that his face would leave its mark on the school in a way he didn't want, it met Ranma's knees upon the pigtailed boy jumping at him for the strike.

Kuno fell down and was out like a light, "That was annoying." Naruto grumbled, spitting on the floor, "What the Hell does humans like him eat anyway?" he asked, grabbing the wooden sword and finding no problem in snapping the thing in half, which begged the question of what kind of monster Tatewaki Kuno could be.

"Still took care of him." Ranma pointed out, "Are you ok?"

Such a simple but heartfelt question felt bizarre for someone like the fox spirit. Only Sarutobi would ever worry over him, and only because the demon fox would cause mayhem and spread chaos wherever he went.

Thus he replied in his own way, "Yeah, yeah, don't try to kiss it to make it better."

Ranma rolled his eyes, half surprised he got used to the fox's rough exterior. Akane stared at the blond a bit more, feeling like something was amiss to pin him down.

XXXXXX

"Are schooldays becoming easier to deal with…? No, couldn't be, I got hit by a cheap shot from a cheaper hairdo."

"Naruto-san?"

"Nothing, Tennis-chan, just surprised that there weren't any big incidents knowing the Idiot Prince."

Just like before, Naruto was walking with Tennis-chan back home, making mental notes on where he had seen the fat panda the last days and also wondering out loud how crazy school could get. He had to inwardly snort at such an idea considering how insane Furinkan already was without him there. The tennis girl followed him closely, clad in her tennis uniform and with her racket in one hand, looking around nervously for anyone wanting to fight the blond.

"Perhaps you should be happy about it…" she mumbled loud enough for him to hear before speaking clearer, "The less fights you have the more chances you have to enjoy yourself, right?"

Naruto snickered, "If you forgot, I kind of leave everything but fighting out of my list of things that are fun." He looked up with a smirk, "The more asses I can kick, the better it'll be for me."

To his surprise, she pouted and grabbed his arm, "You can't!" she said, using that still timid but determined look he only saw when defending her tastes, "You should enjoy more than fights. I do like girls who can fight, but only fighting is very dull."

Naruto tried but failed to pry his arm off her grip, unsure of why since he could do so effortlessly, "Hey, a good fight is never dull."

She puffed her cheeks, intensifying the cuteness of her glaring pout, "Then… Then you're going to have fun some other way! We're teenagers, we should so something stupid and fun!"

"Hey, let go!" he growled, but she kept her fingers gripping his jacket tightly. And since Tennis-chan wasn't a fighter, and someone who admitted to being weaker than others, he couldn't fight back and harm her.

Soon Naruto didn't know what happened other than him standing in a small bar with non-alcoholic drinks, several teenagers around the stools or at tables drinking fruity drinks and exotic teas or coffees, while many others stared at him. The blond growled at the strange object in his hand which was shaped, as he eloquently said, like a dick. Tennis-chan blushed at those words but forced it into her hands, and he cursed Sarutobi for forbidding him to fight back unless provoked or endangered.

"You can do it!" she cheered, hands pumped up.

He groaned, "Must I?" he asked before turning to the screen nearby where names of songs appeared. "What am I supposed to do in this… karaoke, was it?"

She nodded, "You just have to sing along the lyrics on the screen." She beamed, "Here, I love this song… It's MachineGun Kiss, composed by Yuri Fukuda."

Naruto grunted as the music started after a press of a button, and soon he watched the lyrics appear. There was a little cartoon figure resembling a rabbit on top of the screen, waving a microphone on its hand while saying for him to wait before he could start singing. He gulped and watched the lyrics start to glow a different color, so he put the microphone near his mouth and, with a glare, started to sing.

As a kitsune, Naruto was basically a shape-shifter, even if his human form was a default of how he'd look had he been born like any normal mortal. This trait of his allowed him to mimic any voice he wanted, so he made his an alluring kind of deep, a youthful voice that still sounded very mature, and started to sing his heart out.

It felt weird for the fox, to sing before an audience. Upon seeing some of them stare at him and clap, he felt something tickle the corners of his mouth. More heads started to turn his way so he, rather instinctively, started to wave his free hand around along the music's rhythm. Tennis-chan herself was baffled but clapped at him with a smile on her face, and even cheered for him. He couldn't help the small bounce on his feet even if he kept them firmly planted or the sway of his hips the more and more people clapped and cheered for the unusual singer.

Finally, the music stopped and Naruto awkwardly stared at the crowd. He groaned and put on his best embarrassed battle face while setting the microphone back in place.

"There, now I look like an idiot." He growled at the tennis player.

"Awesome!" a chorus of girls said, "So suave… who thought a banchou like him could sing so manly?"

"Encore, encore!" someone else cheered.

Naruto shook his head, some red coming to his cheeks, "That's all you're getting." He grunted and felt his neck, "Using that voice makes my throat sore."

Tennis-chan beamed nonetheless, "You still had fun, right?"

He groaned but knew defeat, "I… guess…" he breathed out without energy. She giggled, to which he groaned again, "Wipe that smile off your face."

She did just that, "Oh, sorry…" Now that her mood had dropped and her head hung low, Naruto felt something akin to what a human being would if they had actual morals and kicked a cute puppy.

"Since you got me to do something stupid but fun…" he started, getting her attention, "You should do something stupid and ballsy."

"Huh?" she looked more dazzled than baffled, and something akin to a deer in headlights.

Naruto nodded, "You're going to actually… You're not even listening, are you?" he waved his hand on her face, getting her back to reality before turning to wherever her eyes were at.

Tennis-chan stared at a girl with waist-length dark blue-purple hair with a fringe and two strands hanging in front secured with ties. The bluenette dressed in a Chinese outfit, a combat outfit consisting of a light pink colored long-sleeved blouse and matching pants with the addition of a red breastplate and a pair of metal arm-guards. And to add weirdness, she carried enormous and very well decorated maces. But what really had to have gotten Tennis-chan's attention was the fact that while the girl carried the weapons with no effort, she was way better endowed than Ranma as a girl with a plumper, firmer and rounder behind and breasts that if not for the breastplate would bounce and jiggle with every movement.

Naruto snapped his fingers in front of Tennis-chan's face when noticing that the petite girl was undressing the bluenette with her eyes, "I got the thing for you." He started with a smirk, "You're going to ask that girl for a date."

The poor girl was startled nearly out of her clothes, "Eh?! W-Wh-What's with that?! I didn't make you do something d-degrading like asking a cute girl out!" her face was a new kind of red.

He sneered, "Does it look like I care? You dragged me into this karaoke thing, so grow some pubes and man- err, woman up."

Tennis-chan and a few onlookers blushed, while the small girl felt like covering her groin from the embarrassment, "How did you know I… Wait, how can you say stuff like that?! And… are you listening?!"

Naruto noticed that the bluenette was gone, so he gripped Tennis-chan's wrist and pulled her out of the karaoke bar, into the streets, and after the blue haired girl. "If you don't feel like doing it…" Naruto started until he finally spotted the bluenette's back while she stood on a fence, looking around for something, "I'll have my fun."

The sinister smirk made the girl want to run off but Naruto was too fast and, before she knew it, he grabbed her hands and pressed his fingers to, oddly enough, her fingernails. Soon he was gone with a cloud of smoke, making her wonder where could he have gone to, but no-one was around to have seen a thing. And then, her own hand moved to her face, rubbing a cheek which started to move aside as a smirk came to it.

"Good." Tennis-chan heard herself say, but while her voice was her own the tone of confidence was akin to the fox's. "You have a decent body, Tennis-chan." She heard herself say again as her own hands patted her stomach, "At least you're fit, but not strong enough to fight back… Well, that was a given the moment I saw you."

She was shocked, '_Naruto-san?!_' she felt like crying, '_It's you, isn't it?! Why?! Why're you doing this?! I don't want to be rejected, and even less if I don't have a say in it!_'

Tennis-Naru shrugged her shoulders, "Then how do you know you can do something without trying?" she scowled, "Honestly, you humans give up too damn easily. That's why I hate weakling crybabies, you never stop crying while expecting the world to do you a favor."

She remained silent, until she noticed her body moving towards the bluenette, '_P-Please, stop! I don't know if I could deal with-_'

And just as she started to try to reach for something, Tennis-Naru's feet stopped, making her growl, "Damn, so you can fight back."

Tennis-chan immediately tried to pull back… but sadly neither of them saw a much taller figure coming their way until a loud crash reached their ears. Tennis-Naru found herself in someone's arms, not the bluenette's, sadly, but still good enough to make the real tennis player feel heat on her cheeks.

She was in the arms of a very tall girl, easily a head taller than Tatewaki Kuno. Said girl had dark skin from a natural tan, a sharp heart-shaped face, sharper black eyes, and short black hair. She was also lean and very fit, with some amount of marked muscle on her thin but still feminine arms, and since this girl wore a black sports bra for her B-cups and red sweatpants Tennis-chan felt with her very arms the six-pack abs she had.

"Yo, cutie-pie." Tennis-chan shook her head, "You ok?" the girl asked with a smirk, helping the smaller and very flushed girl back to her feet, "Not much of a talker, are ya? Well, at least you seem to be fine. Anyway, I'm sorry for bumping into ya. I was trainin' and got a little lost in thought until we bumped. Good thing I landed on such a cute thing."

Tennis-chan's face was making tomatoes green with envy, "U-Uh… Thank you." she blinked, for Tennis-Naru took control for her, "I'm… Tennis-chan." She mentally kicked her own ass for saying that stupid line.

The dark skinned girl grinned wider, "Oh, that's what everyone calls ya? Well, yer outfit says so… As for me… call me Ramen-chan." She grinned, "I work at a nice ramen shop, though I also jog like mad for the track team… And I'm not boring ya, am I?" Tennis-Naru shook the pigtailed girl's head for her, "Good. Um… here." She handed the tennis player a card with a smirk, "To make it up to you, I'll give you a free bowl."

Tennis-Naru, and so also Tennis-chan, stared at the card with an address. The tennis player felt her stomach bounce around and her small, flat chest tighten, so Tennis-Naru took over once again, "I'll see you there, Ramen-chan. Sorry for being such a pain." Tennis-Naru put on her best smile while the real Tennis-chan felt like dying.

Ramen-chan chuckled with a small tint of red to her cheeks that didn't go unnoticed as she said her next line with a wide, toothy and kind of dumb grin, "Sure, I never miss the chance to be with a cute thing like ya." And with that said she started to jog off.

Once she was gone, Tennis-chan felt like her body had lost a lot of weight the moment a cloud of smoke appeared behind her back with a dumbfounded Naruto in the middle of the dissipating smoke, "That was… weird." He said, scratching his head while the tennis girl stared at the card intently. "Hmm… now I'm hungry."

Tennis-chan reached to her red cheek with her free hand, "I… have found her…" she said with a beaming smile, "My… Big Sis…" and then reality hit her like a sack of bricks when Naruto snapped his fingers before her, "Ah, you! I… You… You made me do and say those things, how?!"

Naruto shrugged, "What do you think I am?" he asked, aiming a finger to his face, or more precisely to his whisker marks.

Tennis-chan stared at him, before a wide grin spread on her face, "Now I get it!" she said too enthusiastically for Naruto to find it normal, so he wisely took a step back before the finger she aimed at him could reach him, "Naruto-san… You're my guardian spirit, right?!"

Naruto felt a large amount of sweat build on the back of his head out of embarrassment, "I am a spirit, but-" and she was hugging him.

Tennis-chan, the shyest girl he had seen, was hugging him, the son of a demonic tyrant fox. "Hey, drop it." he said, pushing her back with gentleness he didn't know he had, "I did this to get back at you for the karaoke. Things just happened to move in your favor, that's all." He then aimed a finger at her, "And I said I'd get you to woman up by having you grow some pubes."

Tennis-chan blinked, "You mean I have…" she said before, to Naruto's shock she started to look into something he didn't think she should.

"I didn't mean it literally!" he shouted.

Unknown to them, two sets of eyes had observed them. One of them being a certain old monkey who smiled kindly, "I guess it is time for him to learn something new. This is the first time he uses his powers in a way that helps others, intentionally or not. However…" He then stared at the other figure staring at the odd duo, "It seems I'll give this lesson with good timing… Joketsuzoku, now that's a name to look out for."

He looked at the scrolls he had under his arm and sighed. After retrieving them from the mail office and ignoring some funny looks he was finally about to start his research on how to break Ryoga and Ranma's curses. Either that or get at least an idea of what could be done to stop people from getting cursed besides, as something logical, banning and forbidding anyone from entering them no matter the cost.

"Now what?" The blond asked Tennis-chan, expecting her to tell him to go home.

That would never happen if the sound of concrete cracking said anything at three yards of distance. It was the bluenette, with a stern stare aimed at Naruto and her heavy right mace also pointing at him. Naruto knew when someone wanted a fight way before he entered Furinkan's grounds, so he wasted no time in getting into his new stance once he pulled out his butterfly knife.

The bluenette spoke, but did so in a language the blond didn't understand, but someone else did, "She said…" Tennis-chan started, before making her best facial impression of the girl, "_You foul spirit, I, Xian Pu _– no, wait, I think it's Shampoo… odd… - _of the Joketsuzoku, shall never forgive your acts!_" she even paused to question the name but resumed her act right to the end.

Naruto was baffled, "You understand her?"

Tennis-chan blushed, "My mom's Chinese."

Naruto sighed, "This is the part where I need a translation." He said, and the tennis girl nodded, "What do you want? I'm just accompanying this… girl."

While the pigtailed girl knew he would've called her a weakling, she was glad he kept his manners in the face of danger, whatever he had, "_He's asking why you're here. Also, he's my friend._"

The bluenette didn't buy it, and Tennis-chan translated as such, "_I can't let you be used by spirits. I've heard the stories of one of his kind._" She lifted her maces, ready for action while the tennis girl kept mimicking her facial expressions and tone, "_You better be ready, fox! My people has battled the likes of you for true honor and power!_"

Naruto grinned, "Well then, let's dance!" he crowed, which Tennis-chan translated by doing her best in copying him.

Naruto didn't waste any second longer and dashed at the girl, jumping into the air and bringing down his knife for a slash. The bluenette jumped over his strike with incredible dexterity despite her weapons and smirked as she kicked at him, and Naruto returned the smirk. The kitsune returned the kick by raising his foot on the ground, the soles of his shoes colliding with the girl's, making her gasp before she was pushed back, away from the now chuckling blond.

"Are you really going to fight a girl?!" Tennis-chan asked, sounding scared behind the garbage bin she hid.

"She's trying to kill me and is willing to fight me with all she's got." Came the reply from the fox as he and the bluenette circled each other, "Man or woman, who cares? If someone wants to fight me seriously, I just can't hold back… and Hell, this is fun!"

The bluenette may not have understood what the fox said, but knew he was having a blast, and so was she, '_This spirit is strong… If defeated then I shall be strong enough to take on that girl…_' She raced at the blond this time and swung around her heavy maces with true skill. Naruto ducked under the first, dashed away from the second, and flipped away when the girl spun around and nearly got his head. And then she grinned before smashing one head of the maces on the other, bouncing it towards Naruto.

The kitsune parried the strike with his knife, stabbing into the mace but holding back a gasp when seeing that he didn't penetrate the head. Not only that but he could hear the double-edged blade about to crack. With great reluctance, the fox spun around, avoiding any other strike and thus getting much needed distance away from Shampoo. The bluenette smirked at him, which made him take on a more stern expression on his face, not quite harsh as it was more stoic.

He pocketed the knife and raised his hands in loose fists, "Ok, show me what you got." Tennis-chan dutifully translated to the girl.

But rather than let Shampoo take the initiative, Naruto dashed at her. She raised her maces and tried to stop a punch at her side, but soon had to block another aimed at her stomach. She gritted her teeth as she watched the fox's arms swing wildly akin to an animal's furious feral swings, but with some grace and skill behind each punch despite the wide angles.

As if to show his point of how he took fighting others seriously, the blond flipped into the air towards her, using the momentum like a pendulum to swing his feet up in the air while his head hovered over the ground by a foot. Shampoo groaned when both the fox's feet smashed her maces and broke her defense, falling down onto her weapons like hammers on a twig. However, she grinned, for after such a strike Naruto would be on the ground, open for her to strike him… What was up with that look he had?

Naruto rolled forward, got on his feet on a squatting position, like some frog, and jumped right at Shampoo through the opening he made. The bluenette gasped, for she didn't expect someone to just jump at her, not only that but the distance between them was non-existence, making it impossible for him to throw a punch or actually strike her with his or any fighting style. She saw his moves, how he moved around attacks while dishing out his, always moving around. Now he was at a dead-end and unable to move properly to strike-

Pain shot through her head, down her body all the way on her spine, and made her legs feel shaky as she took several steps back while the blond landed face down on the ground with a mad grin on his face and a sore spot on his forehead. Shampoo for her part had to let go of one mace, making a decent crater on the concrete street, and rubbed her own forehead, amazed at the fact that the kitsune had been so willing to land a single hit on her that he made an opening just to head-butt her.

It was like when he fought with the panda, Naruto didn't care for his landing, he just wanted to land a strike on who he was fighting and win, and he stated such, "I'm not one to play fair in a fight. Any dirty tricks in the book, I got them. If you dare look down on me, get ready to be biting the dirt." He got up and raised his fists again, "That's the way I do things! You better acknowledge me as the guy that'll kick your ass!"

Tennis-chan's interpretation was spot on, making Shampoo chuckle, "_The Joketsuzoku only acknowledge strength. Show me yours!_"

The two raced at each other now, but Shampoo threw in a little trick. Once Naruto saw her first attack coming and backhanded her mace to get an opening, the bluenette jumped, spun her body around, and swung her leg for a kick at the blond. Said kitsune grunted at the force of the kick when he raised his right arm to parry the strike, with a smirk on his face. Shampoo lashed at him with her other leg, forcing him to dash backwards with his body leaning back too, and then swung her maces yet again to try to land a strike on the evasive kitsune. The fox spun around yet again around the strike, getting much needed distance.

Finally, Naruto saw enough, "You got some nice moves…" he said, and reached into his jacket to one of the scrolls he had for the golden bat he got from the yakuza he met along Ryoga, hefting it over his right shoulder singlehandedly, "Let's see how well I do."

Shampoo observed him, his stance had changed and so did his reach, but he had a blunt weapon, something she could take. But what took her by surprise was how he held the weapon. It was like he was copying her stance but doing something entirely original at the same time. He wasn't just copying her, he had learned from her and made the skills he saw his own. Naruto had also seen Kuno fight, and so she didn't know he had more tricks than he would let her know.

She still swung her maces at him, which he replied by singlehandedly attacking with the golden, heavy baseball bat. The two attacks collided, stopping each other. Shampoo knew she had to attack quickly while both were recovering from the clash, but Naruto was smarter than he looked. The bluenette's eyes widened when the blond fox's left hand gripped the bat's handle, using the momentum of the grab to move the blunt weapon around and, to the warrior girl's shock, smash her on the top of her head.

Tennis-chan was gaping, "She…" she ran to Shampoo, checking on the girl whose face had greeted the ground firmly.

Naruto pocketed the bat in his jacket, "She's sleeping. I'd have my ass on a platter had I truly killed her." He then grinned, "Besides, if she wants a rematch, I'm more than willing to give it to her. It's not every day that a human actually wants to fight me and makes things interesting for once."

"You can get in trouble for this!" Tennis-chan cried.

Naruto dug his little finger into his ear, "By who? She wanted to fight me, was I supposed to kneel down and get turned into minced meat?"

Tennis-chan lowered her head, "When you put it that way… But isn't this excessive?"

Naruto shrugged, "I just knocked her out. If I wanted to be excessive, I'd be repeatedly kicking her head on the ground to make sure she doesn't move for a week… give or take three days."

XXXXXX

"What's this… tribe of women heroes?"

"The Joketsuzoku, or Amazons as some people call them, are a proud tribe, Hibiki-san." Sarutobi said, blowing some smoke out the window he leaned on while reading more mangas to better understand humans, along with some scrolls that he picked up on his way home.

The lost boy stared at him mildly lost in the metaphorical way, "So what's so dangerous of this one? Far as I know, Naruto could give me a hard time, and I don't say that lightly."

Sarutobi sighed, "I know, and it's possible that Naruto may fight her. What I hope, though, is that he follows the rules I told him and doesn't go overboard." He chuckled, "That kid could learn some manners from you, Hibiki-san. However, it's his pride what will hurt him the most. If he has to win, even following my rules, he won't play fair and beat his opponents by trapping them in pits or something of the sort."

Ryoga blinked before turning off the stove, "And what if he wins?"

Hiruzen chuckled, "Then, by rules of the Amazons, he'd have to marry her." He chuckled again, "Who knows… Maybe marriage will help Naruto to mature into a better man."

There was a pause as both stared at each other, and it was interrupted by their loud, howling laughter at the idea of the kitsune in a tuxedo with a pretty girl. And they laughed wildly for quite some time too, to the pint Ryoga had to wipe a few tears off his eyes, "Ok, as funny as that is… would you bet for Naruto to not do anything stupid?"

And there… Sarutobi froze, his face grew pale, and his pipe fell off his hands.

"Dear God, what did I do?!" the monkey man cried, holding his head with both hands as if to try to keep his eyeballs from popping farther off their sockets.

Ryoga sweated nervously, "Uh… is it too late…?"

Hiruzen breathed, thinking deeply, "It's ok… It's ok… Sure, by the Amazons' law Naruto would have to marry the girl, but he's bound to be here on my command so… Maybe I could talk things over considering…"

Ryoga wanted to listen to what Hiruzen had to say, but since he had to earn his stay by cooking and the meal was nearly done, he decided to leave the man to have his own crisis.

Or he tried, until hearing the old man scream, "Ah!" the elder cried, clutching his pipe and nearly snapping it in his grip, "The Amazons… If Naruto has to marry them by their own laws…" The elder man took a deep breath, palmed his face, and tried to calm his tired nerves, "It may be just like his father before him…"

"Wait, what?!" Ryoga asked, now truly interested.

Sarutobi sighed, "It's not what you may think of, Hibiki-san… Naruto's father was a powerful demon, indeed, and a true monster. However, he looked for a proper heir to mold into his image…" he closed his eyes at such a thought, "Had Naruto become like him, that'd have made me lose sleep more than the existence of such a cruel, demonic spirit like that Kyuubi."

"So what's so bad with Naruto?" Ryoga asked.

"His father was a bastard, that is for certain, but to get an heir he needed a woman…" and here Sarutobi sighed, "So he courted and bedded countless women, all in his human form, by taking them not with his power or by force, but by seducing them with his words and charisma. These women… oh, they would have let him devour them and their souls when he started to talk to them. The boy's father was fearsome, but beautiful and charming with a melodic and deadly voice… That's the power of a male kitsune, to be an expert lover, and he used it for his own selfish reasons."

"But he only had one son." Ryoga interrupted.

Hiruzen nodded, "Because of the only woman who could hold such power in her womb. All others weren't capable of carrying such power for a single child. And he only gained her love… by defeating her in battle."

Ryoga's eyes widened when he finally got the picture.

**XXXXXX**

**And that's my rap!**

**Naruto's going to be in quite a surprise when Shampoo wakes up. Not to mention the other problems that'll be there for him. And yes, he is related to the tribe, but not to Shampoo. I'll also admit I took a bit of liberty basing Naruto's father off Dio Brando from JJBA, a suave villain capable of getting everything done and is terrifyingly nearly everywhere as the one responsible for a lot of chaos.**

**Swordslinger out!**


	6. Chapter 6

I OWN NOTHING

I have to be honest with you guys, I enjoy writing stories and making them always eases a lot of pain I go through in the real world. I'm glad so many of you enjoy these stories. Thank you.

**XXXXXX**

Half an idea

"Mmm…"

"Ah! Is she waking up?!"

"Don't jinx it, Tennis-chan."

Naruto sighed at the situation he was in. Sure, he always acted like a brat, hated all humans due to how poorly they had treated him all his life to this day, and he could and would be a bastard just to get back at them. It should really be put into question why he was carrying Shampoo on is back. Amazement didn't begin to describe what Tennis-chan felt when the blond grumbled something to himself after rigorously scratching his head only to pick the bluenette up, carry her on his back, and make sure he even got her maces.

"Stay close to me…" Naruto said in a low voice to the tennis player, "If some asshole tries to fight us, I'll need you to take care of her while I deal with them."

Tennis-chan nodded her head, a million questions rushing through it, but one could sum them up: "Why're you doing this?"

Naruto groaned, "I may be an asshole, but even I got my limits when it comes to who fights me." He looked at the pigtailed girl with a serious if softer than usual gaze, "This is the only person who fought me because she wanted to protect someone, not just to mess with me. If I left her alone I'd feel…" he shook his head, "I don't know. All I know is that I don't like how it could feel, and there is someone I don't want to end up like."

She tilted her head to the side, trying to figure out what he could be talking about. Naruto was certainly odd. When he tried to force her to ask Shampoo out, he said he was trying to get her to woman up like he did so out of spite for the karaoke, but then why did he take the conversation with Ramen-chan seriously and got the pigtailed lass a date? He also kept her company when they walked back home, and that in turn had made her feel safe and at ease since she hadn't seen her usual bullies around.

'_It's as if he can't grasp what being kind means…_' she thought, but wanted to wave off such a thought when remembering Sarutobi and how warm-hearted the old monkey seemed. However, Sarutobi also looked stern and authoritarian, so he could actually be trying to keep Naruto on a metaphorical leash so the boy didn't do bad things. One thing stood out, though, and it was the fact that Naruto said he didn't want to end up like someone. Was it someone that Naruto really hated or, even worse, someone that hurt the blond fox beyond any words or actions ever could?

"We're here." Naruto said and leaned on his side against a door, using his head to knock on it, "Open up."

"What's the magic word?" a male voice asked on the other side.

Naruto bit his lower lip but calmed himself to not wake the Chinese Amazon soundly sleeping on his back, "I brought a friend." He lied.

"Wait, really?!" both Sarutobi and Ryoga asked in unison after nearly yanking the door to see the odd trio before them, "Naruto… what did you…?" the old monkey started with a look of horror on his face.

The golden kitsune finally let go of the maces he had been dragging and walked in, "Long story short, I had to fight her and beat her. But I couldn't leave her behind since she may be trouble, so I took her here for you to help me, old man." Once he set Shampoo down on the coffee table, he pulled out a scroll and, with a quick cloud of smoke, chained her to the table, "She's a real pain when in battle, but…"

Sarutobi smiled, "I see you still value the lessons I gave you."

Naruto looked away, but his face didn't flush or scowl, it looked serene, "She gave me a good fight for a good reason. I'd feel like there's something wrong if I didn't bring her here."

"Isn't that…?" Ryoga started, to which Sarutobi nodded. The fanged boy tried to wrap his head around the countless possibilities set before him.

"Who are you?" Tennis-chan asked the boy with the yellow bandana.

"Ryoga Hibiki, a pleasure. You?"

"Oh, I'm… well, you can call me Tennis-chan. I think I've grown used to that nickname." She said bashfully.

"Okay…" Ryoga said slowly and awkwardly before turning to the matter at hand, the tied up bluenette on the table that the fox and the old monkey were examining.

"I fear you've complicated things for yourself, Naruto." The elder said, taking out his pipe to put more tobacco into it, "She's the legacy of a tribe that have fought great evils but are also very proud."

"We've gotten that much out of the fight." Tennis-chan explained the monkey, "Is this a tribe made only of women?"

Sarutobi breathed out a cloud of smoke, "Not really. They have sons among their ranks, and even welcome men to their place. Their pride, however, dictates that they only acknowledge power. It is how they live. They accept anyone with great power as a possible ally or an enemy, depending on the first impressions."

Naruto sighed, "Then she'll want my head on a platter."

Sarutobi fought back, but hints of a smirk tickled the corners of his mouth, "If only you knew."

Naruto sat on the table, and let his back fall on the floor with a sigh, "Joketsuzoku… That's a name to bring memories. Real bad ones."

Sarutobi patted the fox's shoulder and took a seat by his side, "What **he** did has nothing to do with you. Now we just have to wait and see what our new acquaintance has in store for us."

Ryoga remained silent, so Naruto knew of his mother. It wasn't even a guess to think that Sarutobi may have told the fox of his past, but, "Uh, does he know about what happens if you beat an Amazon?"

Naruto tilted his head to face the boy, "What are you talking about?" he sat up, "Do I get a prize?"

With those words said, the quartet looked at the blond and then at the bluenette, having seen her hands stir followed by her eyes. Her eyelids popped open and she leaned forward right in front of the now shocked Naruto. He thought he was safe so long as she was chained, but her arms easily turned her bindings into pieces of scrap metal before she jumped at him.

"You'll need better than that to get me!" The fox said as bluenette's arms were around his neck but his quickly grabbed them, getting ready to pry her off should she try to strangle him. What he got was certainly not what he expected, and even less did his guests and the actual owner of the apartment.

"Oh my!" Tennis-chan cried.

"Oh dear…" Ryoga breathed out.

"Why didn't I tell him…?" Sarutobi asked dully.

In the fox's mind everything in the world stopped while his brain moved at speeds beyond that of light. Two soft mounds were on his chest, smothering it in amazing flabby but firm softness. A weight and warmth was pressed on his torso and lap. A duo of soft but strong and shapely things were wrapped around his torso and didn't help anything but lock him in place in his stunned state. Last but not least, something silky and warm with a hint of good cooking mixed into it was pressed to his lips. His eyes were wide enough to see Shampoo's half lidded ones.

He finally got an idea of what happened when the Amazon pulled back with a sultry smile on her face, letting out a sound of suction from their mouths separating, and leaned on his chest. His arms, which were still up and hung there stiffly like he were some kind of scarecrow, finally fell to the ground. His face was something priceless for Sarutobi, who couldn't make out whether he wanted to slap him in order to get him back to the real world or take a picture and mount it on his wall for the amusement of seeing Naruto's accurate interpretation of a deer on headlights. Shampoo simply snuggled into the kitsune's chest, making Tennis-chan's face resemble a tomato while she tried to remind herself she had a date and shouldn't be jealous.

Ryoga was the one to break the silence, "Was that it?"

Sarutobi nodded, "Yes, pretty much."

"Hey, instead of standing there how about you explain what just happened?!" Naruto shouted to the two.

Sarutobi put his pipe to his lips, inhaled long and deeply, and let out a cloud of smoke out the window, "You're now engaged to this girl… Congratulations." He added the last part with an amused smile.

XXXXXX

On his new home's dojo, Ranma shuddered, making Akane arch a brow, "What just happened?"

The pigtailed boy looked up, as if asking the ceiling for that answer, "I don't know. I felt like I relived something."

"It's called déjà vu."

"No, I think it's quite different. I can't quite my finger on it."

Akane sighed, a hand on her hip, "Let it go… and let's get out. I think I saw your father looking at us weirdly a moment ago…"

For once, Ranma agreed with the girl.

XXXXXX

Back with the kitsune, he sat at the north side of the table, in front of him on the south of the coffee table was Shampoo seated on her knees and with a cup of warm tea before her. Sarutobi was on the table's east and Ryoga to its west. Tennis-chan for her part sat beside the bandana wearing boy, ready to translate.

"So, you and I are now engaged?" Naruto asked.

Shampoo nodded, "_I admit I wanted to defeat you, but to see you take me here makes me want to question a lot of things._" She then smirked, "_And I found your strength quite attractive._"

Tennis-chan looked thoughtful, "Sounds like me, but with boys…" she shook her head and focused herself on translating the conversation.

"I thought you wanted to kick my ass because of what I am. What made you change your mind?" the blond asked.

"_Instead of leaving me behind you brought me here. I do admit I was surprised to find myself in your lair, but then I noticed you took no measures to take me down._"

The entire group started to sweat nervously, because either she completely ignored/denied the existence of the chains that kept her body tied up – and thus would have seen Naruto as someone a lot more dangerous – or she was so strong that she didn't notice the moment she broke the chains. Naruto didn't want to bet for either, because the first meant she could be plotting ways to boil his testicles on a pot of bleach and the second meant that he was now engaged by some tribe's law to a woman that could shrug off being tied up like it were nothing.

Sarutobi sighed and spoke, surprising the teens with what language he had mastered in his many years, "_I'm afraid you can't marry Naruto, young Amazon. Not only is he free to choose who he marries, but he's forced to stay here in this city for three years to accomplish a task I set upon him._"

The Amazon narrowed her eyes, but didn't attempt to show anger. Sarutobi was a man whose presence alone spoke of power to those with a kin eye for battle. Even Ryoga made sure to be polite to the elder from the start for more than being polite.

"_What is this task, then?_" Shampoo asked. "_Whatever it is, I assure you I can help my future husband finish it._"

Sarutobi put his pipe to his lips, "_His task is to remain here, go through three years of learning at the local high school, and make friends._"

Shampoo was stunned at such an answer, but the elder's voice said he was not joking. Meanwhile, Tennis-chan translated it all for the two boys, to which Naruto replied, "He's right." Shampoo turned to him, "I can't leave this place unless he says so, and trust me when I say he is one to keep his word. If you really want to wait three years to marry me, someone you don't even know, and a kitsune at that, then color me impressed." He stared intently at the bluenette before turning away, "I'll admit you're a pretty human girl, but I'm a fox spirit."

"_I know._" She nodded, "_And if this is your task, then I shall wait._"

Naruto narrowed his eyes, "Do you really want to waste your life like that?" he asked and stared at her, making her blink at such an odd question, "Listen, I would never, ever mind marrying a pretty girl ready to do everything for me. Hell, it sounds like a lot of fun if I must be honest. But I don't know you, who you are, or what you even see in a guy like me. Then, there's the fact that you're marrying me just because I won our fight." He slammed his hands on the table, "You have your own damn life! Are you really so set into following some stupid law that you'd throw it away because someone that died long ago said to do so?!"

Shampoo was taken back, "_But if I don't marry you then… I..._" she looked down, pained.

Sarutobi sighed and grabbed Naruto's shoulder to pull him closer, "Naruto, should she not marry you and be left like this, she'd be a laughing stock at her village." Naruto's eyebrows got up at those words, "Listen, I'll figure something out. I know these women, and right now if she were to return to her home like this she'd be seen as someone unworthy of being there."

Naruto clenched his jaw and looked at the girl. Brief flashes of a smaller, much younger version of him passed by his eyes, images accompanied by harsh words:

"Who wants a good for nothing demon like you?!" a merchant would cry before shooing Naruto with a broom.

"Why are you even alive, you son of a monster?!" a teacher would shout before throwing a book at him.

"It's the Kyuubi's kit, run!" Kids he wanted to play would yell as they ran to their parents.

"Hey, you stupid fox, why don't you leave us be?!" the kids he grew up with would say.

He got fed up, "That…" he growled through gritted teeth, "Why?" he finally asked.

"It's the way humans work, Naruto." Sarutobi stated, "There is a lot of cruelty they can show, but there are some actions that can change that."

Naruto once again turned to Shampoo and, with a deep breath, walked to her, "Listen…" he started and was glad Tennis-chan kept translating for him, "I'm not saying I won't do this. I'm not up for marrying anyone even if it sounds good and fun, but I don't think you are ready for this wedding either." Shampoo stared at him surprised, "So let's wait these three years, ok? Once I am done with this task, you can choose whether you want to marry me or not." He lifted his hand to her, "When these three years are over, come at me with everything you have to beat me. If you do, I guess you're free to do what you want. If I win and these three years make you realize you don't want to marry me, then I'll find whoever runs your village and beat them up so you don't have to."

"Naruto…" Sarutobi breathed out in amazement.

The kitsune continued, "This is your life, you're free to choose what you want to do with it."

"_I have no words…_" Shampoo managed to get out in her awed state.

Naruto grinned, "Of course, I'll be getting stronger, so you better put up a fight."

She gave him a determined look and shook his hand, "_Then so shall I._" she stood up with her face brightening with a smile, "_I shall tell my Great Grandma about this with a messenger pigeon._" She then turned to smile at the blond, "_I'll see you soon!_"

And with that she left, right before Tennis-chan jumped and hugged Naruto with a teary-eyed smile, "You're such a good guy!"

Naruto cringed, unable to push off the delicate girl, "Hey, stop that!"

Tennis-chan teared up some more with her smile beaming, "I can't believe I thought of you as a thug! You're actually a nice guy when you try to be!"

Ryoga chuckled, "Who are you and what did you do with Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Hey!"

Sarutobi laughed too, "To think all those lectures finally paid off…"

"Ugh…"

Shampoo for her part walked through the town, memorizing where Naruto's house was, and it was at that moment that she finally wondered something, "_Why were there broken chains on Naruto's floor?_" she tried to find a logical explanation, "_Could he have tied me up? But I don't feel anything at all._" She then grinned and shook the thought, "_No, it can't be. After what he said today he has shown me that he's really nice. Should I marry him, then he can tie me up all he wants._"

Naruto for his part looked at the broken chains that occupied his floor, "I'll need to get better chains if there are more humans this strong here."

XXXXXX

The next morning Naruto made his way to school with a yawn he covered with his mouth. On his path, however, he found a strange sight. It was a ramen bowl, steaming and made with the perfect mixture of meat, nicely boiled eggs, and noodles that had been prepared by fine hands with insane finesse to get the dough into a state of perfection. He was already drooling the moment he saw it, but had to use all of his will power to halt himself and wipe the saliva off his mouth.

"Ok, I know I should eat that treat of ultimate deliciousness…" he said, and had to gulp the drool that threatened to escape his mouth, "But this is really too good to be true. So show yourself, whoever you are!"

No response came. Certainly more than weird, but while it begged the question of who would leave a bowl of the best handcrafted noodles he had seen in a ramen bowl accompanied by ingredients of some heavenly quality it also made Naruto very hungry. He couldn't resist it. The ramen was calling to him. It was sitting there in the middle of the street, getting colder, and shivering. Oh, Naruto could now see its face, with its little mouth formed by noodles trembling while its eyes composed of fiskcakes stared at him with tears made of beef. It was as if it were asking Naruto to eat it and let it enjoy the warmth of the fox's stomach, and by any and all deity that watched over him, he would do it!

He walked to the bowl, grabbed it, and readied his chopsticks which he always had ready in his jacket for just such an occasion. Shadows rushed at him, and with the chopsticks digging in to get a hold of some noodles the blond rolled forward with his hands making sure no ounce of the bowl's contents were spilled. It was like his mind went on auto-pilot when it came to protecting anything and everything that were noodles. He slurped down a mouthful of fishcake, noodles and beef before finally staring at whoever set the trap.

A large bronze bell from a shrine stood where he had been. Certainly he'd be trapped inside of it had he not been a master trickster and someone with knowledge of pranks since he was young. That, and you never, ever get in between Uzumaki Naruto and a bowl of noodles. He wanted to see who had been the mastermind behind such a cheap trick to laugh up a storm on their face before giving them the boot, literally.

He was unsurprised, "I'm whelmed." He said dully at the coconut head, "Shouldn't you be stealing someone's wallet?"

The trapper said nothing, instead she remained where she was with a small grin. That was a sign that something was off. Normally when the one before him tried something, she'd be a witch and conjure every word she could to make herself look good and like she was completely in control of things, no matter how much they failed. The fact that perhaps everyone in Nerima was an idiot certainly helped her plans against them. How hard can it be to bribe someone like Kuno if you have some decent pictures of Akane in her underwear and bent over? But the fox was digressing.

"Ok, I'll bite." He said, lifted the bowl singlehandedly to his mouth and loud gulping sounds echoed on the streets before in the next split second the empty bowl was thrown aside, "Who're you?"

She giggled, "Perhaps I should have used more of my charm for you to remember me." And with a large smirk Nabiki walked to him with confidence in her every step, back to the usual.

Naruto glared, "Those are nice, but I've seen better." He said dully, remembering that he had, indeed, seen better thanks to a pigtailed redhead and the bluenette he met yesterday.

"Oh, that really hurt my feelings." She said with a sad pout and a sigh, "But oh well, it was plan A or plan B…" she reached into her dress and pulled out a jar of salt.

Naruto's eyes widened and he flipped backwards, growling at her, "Persistent, I see."

Nabiki laughed, "So you are a spirit. As such salt is a problem to you along other holy objects…"

Naruto grinned and cracked his knuckles, "I'll make it easier for you and choose the hard way. I can finally get to show you a thing or two about messing with me by doing so."

Nabiki put a hand to her chin and mock-thoughtfully spoke her next move like she were talking to herself, "Well, I could let you hit me, but where is the fun in that when we could settle things better as partners?" she leaned down slightly, showing a good part of her cleavage which she accentuated with her arms pushing her girls up, "Are you sure you don't want to work for me? I could really use someone like you closely."

Naruto spat on the salt she threw, a light blue flame emitted from where his spit landed and died quickly, "I'm really strong. You will need better than threatening me or offering me anything to get me to work with you." he then aimed his index finger at her, "Listen to me well! I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the only thing I want in my life is to be stronger and show the world who they're messing with if they try to ruin my day! And I absolutely despise people like you!"

Nabiki grinned more, fake-humming, "Mmm…? Whatever could you mean?"

"That face you have." Naruto said, his finger still aimed her way, "It's when people have a fake face like that to make others feel pain that I want to wipe those smiles off their faces. If you're ready to do anything to get something out of others, then…" Naruto leaned slightly backwards and put his other hand to his hip, still aiming his finger at her, "I'll be the one to judge you, Nabiki Tendo!"

Nabiki arched a brow, "Overdramatic much?"

Naruto's face grew red from anger, not embarrassment, no, not at all, "Shut up! It's my business what I say to the likes of you!" Ok, maybe he had been reading some of the mangas the old monkey had, but it didn't matter. He was going to make Nabiki pay one way or another, and this was his declaration: "From here and now, it's war."

Nabiki arched her eyebrow some more along her smirk, "Oh? That sounds fun. You can't hurt me, I know that much because of the old man that keeps you here. Whether you have shame or not doesn't matter. I am a natural broker. Everyone in Nerima made it too easy for me to learn the ropes on that."

The blond chuckled, "Then that was a messed up semester you went through." He aimed his finger and cackled, "What kind of idiot attacks first and then makes the negotiations?!"

Nabiki smiled more, unnerving the fox, "Oh, who said I stopped attacking?" she aimed her fingers down, to the salt she just threw, "I knew you were good at escaping, so I prepared this."

Naruto's eyes widened, "Shit!" he kicked to his left, but his right foot stepped midair, and Nabiki watched with amazement how a wall made of pure air was pushing back his foot, "Damn it!" he punched to his left, but his knuckles once again collided with an invisible wall. Why was that? Naruto noticed far too late that Nabiki hadn't thrown salt at him dumbly, she had done so to complete a circle in which he was now trapped in.

She smirked, "I'm amazed salt affects you this way… I mean, you eat so many noodles it is amazing you don't poison yourself with the stuff. But this… Hmm… are you perhaps strong enough to resist those tiny amounts in your food, or is the kind of salt that matters?"

"Joke's on you!" Naruto shouted, aiming his finger yet again at the girl, "First of all, I'm not working for you, no matter what you do!"

Nabiki smirked, "Oh really? Then, tell me, what would happen if Kuno knew of this or anyone who fought you before?"

"Tell them then!" he roared, making her eyes widen slightly at his boldness, "You humans can try to take me down all you want with words and anything you can dish out! I don't give a damn!" he slammed his right palm to his chest, "I exist here, I am alive! I will live the way I want, not the way you or anyone but old fart Sarutobi tells me to!" he growled, glad the old man wasn't there to hear what he'd say next, "I respect the old man because he's strong and he has tried to be kind to me! He's a pain with the whole friend thing, but he's nothing like you and any other human I have met! It's people like you that I want to take down!"

Nabiki stared at the blond some more, taking in his words, until… "Naruto-san! Oh, I mean: _Get away from my hubby, you hussy!_"

One as proud as him would never admit it, but the golden fox was glad that Tennis-chan and Shampoo were there. The Amazon girl swiftly kicked the salt away, breaking the circle and dispersing the grains into the wind. Now free Naruto grinned far more and started to crack his knuckles while Shampoo took her own fighting stance and, surprisingly, Tennis-chan remained by their side with a teary-eyed glare, she even readied her tennis racket just in case despite the fear she had towards the likes of Nabiki, even with two powerful fighters at her side.

The coconut head chortled, "Interesting… You do have the ability to make friends." She aimed a finger at the girls, "A Chinese girl with martial arts, certainly not as strong as someone I know…" she grinned at the girl doing the translation to the now angry Shampoo who wanted to tell the broker she better be talking about Naruto being the one stronger than her, "…and the now forever nicknamed Tennis-chan, Furinkan's gossip material after some bullies stole her backpack to thrown down everything in it, only to reveal ero-magazines of women… with other women…"

Naruto took it all in before turning to the pigtailed girl, "Is my nickname really going to stick with you that long?"

"It seems so, yes." she was blushing for she had translated everything, and thus made Shampoo stare with wide eyes and a pink hue to her cheeks towards the tennis girl.

Nabiki interrupted their train of thought, "I would like to interrupt the moment." She gave a humming giggle, "Now that I have more people into the equation, I need to take my leave."

Shampoo heard it and still trusted Tennis-chan with the translation, "_What makes you think we shall let you go so easily?_"

Nabiki aimed a finger at Naruto, "He wants to beat me at my own game. His pride wouldn't let him get the easy victory."

Naruto stepped towards her, making Nabiki's right leg flinch, but stopped a foot of distance from the broker, "Trust me, when I say it is war, it will only stop when you beg me for mercy." He normally wouldn't be so dramatic, but at that point after hearing all of the broker girl's lines one would do anything to put what they felt into words if they couldn't put it into their fists. Whether it is by pride or the orders of a ridiculously powerful monkey, it was up for debate. Perhaps it was both.

"Still overdramatic." Nabiki giggled, "I'll be looking forward to it, champ." She gave him a close-eyed smile and turned on her heels towards school, "It is a shame, though, I really would have kept my end of the deal." She said to herself, for the idea of controlling someone like Naruto in all ways possible did send a twisted thrill to course all her body with electricity.

Shampoo glared, "_I already sent a letter to my Great Grandma. She said I am to stay here, keep looking for the reason I arrived to this city, and to make sure no hussies I can get a strong Airen._"

"Airen?" Naruto echoed.

Tennis-chan blushed, "Sorry, it slipped. She means she still wants you as a husband."

Naruto turned to the bluenette, "You sure are persistent, you know that." He then chuckled with a smug grin, "But it certainly helps my ego to have such a pretty thing after me..."

Tennis-chan sweated, "I don't think you need it, though… In fact, you should lose some of that ego or more people like Nabiki-san will get you in trouble." And she had some more points to make on why it was a bad idea to not outright defeat Nabiki sooner than later now that she attacked him, but Shampoo had latched to Naruto's arm and was sending death glares to the pigtailed petite lass, "_I… I like women, you have nothing to worry about!_" she tried to assure the Amazon, with a heavy blush and small tears on the corners of her eyes, "_I'm even seeing a girl that is my type, and she's kind, sweet, considerate and…_"

The fox and the Amazon stared as Tennis-chan's blush intensified, and her lips curled into an adoring, dreamy smile. Her hands reached for her heated cheeks as thoughts of being held in Ramen-chan's athletic arms coursed her head.

Naruto burst that bubble, "Don't we have classes?" he asked straight to the point.

"Oh, right." She then stared at Shampoo, "Is it all right for you to have her on your arm?"

"_I'm not letting go of my Airen._" And to make her point she hugged herself closer to Naruto's arm with a happy kitty grin, making Naruto blush when her large pillows smothered his limb. "_After how nice he tried to be for me after he defeated me, how could I?_"

He had a few thoughts in mind, but they could be summed up as such: he was a lucky bastard.

XXXXXX

Back at the blond fox's house, Sarutobi stared at the person before him on the other side of the table, Ryoga sweated nervously, and the new guest sipped her own tea. Sarutobi and the guest, a tiny bat-like creature with large eyes, a long mane of hair, a round face with a lizard-like mouth, and many wrinkles, stared at each other. The guest was clad in a Chinese cloak, green with red trimming and an emblem on the back. A large wooden staff made the figure company, and showed she was far smaller than a toddler.

"_It's been years, my good friend._" Sarutobi said with a smile before blowing out a ring of smoke, "_I see you still keep on living._"

The figure smiled at him kindly, "_I could say the same of yourself, monkey boy. You aged quite better than I ever could hope to do._"

Sarutobi allowed himself a chuckle, "_Nonsense, I see you still hold great power._"

The small elder chuckled, "_I can only use time to grow stronger and watch over the future generations of my tribe. After all, you know too well what happened when the little fox was born._"

Sarutobi sighed as the atmosphere grew serious, "_I won't deny that the father's actions are great and terrifying, but they shouldn't reflect on the boy's. He lost all his chances to live a better life because of one person's actions. I may have lost my dear friends, and I can still see their faces in that final battle as they died in my dreams… Yet we both know Naruto was born out of love, Cologne._"

The elder woman nodded, "_Poor, poor girl the mother was. So young, so naïve, and yet so loving. That fox fought her to earn her heart, and it seemed like she had changed him… but…_"

He shook his head, "_Do not dwell on it. It is in the past and we all can move from it._"

She nodded, "_That Naruto you keep around is basically one of ours considering who his mother was. True, many of the warriors in our village would be outraged to know how he came to be, and still desire vengeance on his father, but now that he has grown and beaten my great grandchild I do believe there may be hope for him to prove who he is to them._"

Hiruzen didn't sigh, he whined, "_Cologne, please reconsider. Naruto has a lot of growing up to do. He is a child in mind, and while I tried to raise him in a place where his father's crimes wouldn't catch up to him the boy was still followed by those who wanted to take out their anger on him. Soon news spread fast, and it took me a long time to ensure that the child could grow up free of the worst._"

Cologne nodded, seeing the elder man's eyes tell him all she needed, "_I see you have yet to regret those deaths at your hands. Either those people were even worse monsters than the boy's father, or you really care for the little fox._"

Sarutobi let out a brief laugh with a bright and warm smile, "_One ends up growing fond of anything if they make a point in trying. I can see the good in Naruto, he just needs to find something good for himself._"

Cologne smiled, "_About the marriage, then…_" she and the old monkey locked serious and stern looks, "_I can accept this three year wait, but considering that by our laws he and Shampoo are still engaged, I desire to remain here and see to it that she chose a proper husband. Not only that, I want to train the boy. For that I may even need him to move out of this city._"

He pulled out his pipe and closed his eyes, letting the smoke out of his nostrils, "_There are exceptions and loopholes to his task that I've made sure he can't exploit. He can go out of the city if it is for the sake of making a friend or helping said friend…_" he grinned, "_First comes friendship, then comes marriage…_"

She smiled widely, "_I knew there was a reason why I still desire to be a young maiden…_"

Ryoga for his part had grown tired of the conversation in Chinese since he didn't have someone to translate anything and decided to go to the bathroom…

So why was he in the middle of a school building's rooftop?

XXXXXX

On his way from school along a certain girl, Ranma looked up, "Odd, why does it feel so ominous?" he looked around, "No sign of Pops, so what could be-"

"Hey." Ranma and Akane turned to see Naruto with a polite wave and a glare respectively.

Akane also noticed the girl clinging to the fox, "Uh… who is that?" she asked dully.

Naruto grinned, "You wouldn't believe me even if I told you."

Akane crossed her arms, "Try me."

He chuckled, "Her name's Shampoo, and she wants to marry me."

Akane did a spit-take with whatever bodily fluids were in her mouth, "W-What?!" she stepped back from the shock, "Ok… That is hard to believe, but how, why, when… How?!" she aimed a finger at him, "All this time you've done nothing but try to be unlikeable and acted like friendship is beneath you, so…" she was really trying to understand the concept.

Naruto shrugged, "It's one long story. Just thinking about it makes me feel lazy like a sloth."

Shampoo meanwhile locked eyes with Akane, Tennis-chan saw sparks coming from the Amazon's eyes. Fortunately, she was there to translate, "_Naruto, who's this girl and how does she know you?_"

The fox sighed, "Akane Tendo, she's been a pain on my side with all the trouble she attracts." He looked up, "Makes me wonder what kind of twisted mind Idiot Prince has to be after the impossible and try to…"

He trailed off and soon everyone's eyes followed his to the shock-frozen Ranma, "Uh, are you all right?" Akane asked mid-concerned and mid-dumbfounded at why he looked like he had seen a ghost.

Ranma shook his head, "Wha… Oh yeah, I'm fine!" he lied through his teeth, "I'm here, a simple boy with black hair…"

"Ok, what's eating you?" Naruto asked, blunt like the first day.

Ranma grabbed a hold of Naruto's other arm and pulled him away, "Hey girls, please go ahead of us! I want to talk to Naruto about something private!"

The girls stared at the retreating boys, but couldn't do much seeing that they moved too fast to catch them. Shampoo didn't have any hurry, but she could always look for the reason she was there – not the blond fox – and end her business to spend a lot of time with her possible Airen. Akane for her part was weirded out by the urgency the man she was forced to marry took off with the blond. Tennis-chan for her part had finished translating and looked to the school off in the distance and then at the boys racing towards it with a trail of dust left behind.

Akane sighed in the end, "They better explain what that was all about." And then turned to the Chinese speaking girls, "So… you and Naruto?"

Shampoo smiled proudly, "_He has the potential of a good and strong husband._"

Akane deadpanned, "But you need her…" she aimed a finger towards Tennis-chan, "…to translate what you're saying. I don't think you'd like to pull her into the honey moon."

The tennis player sunk her head into her shoulders to try to hide her glowing red face, "_I shall learn Japanese then._"

"Am I missing something?" Akane asked, but she didn't get an answer after the two other girls exchanged glances only to look at her, "Okay…" she said slowly and awkwardly, "Let's head to classes, then."

At the school yard, something similar was going on, "I am missing something big, aren't I?" Naruto asked Ranma while both sat perched on top of the wall that marked the border for the entire school grounds.

Ranma sighed, "I know that Shampoo girl from before, and it is a long story, so don't laugh when I tell you it."

"I make no promises on that." Naruto said with a smirk.

Ranma sighed, "It happened some time ago. My father took me to this weird tribe full of women while I was a…" he coughed into his fist but the word 'girl' was heard through it. He then explained Naruto the entire story of how he ate a prize for a tournament, Shampoo got mad at the then girl Ranma, challenged her to a battle, and lost after a single kick.

"Just a kick?" Naruto asked with both eyebrows arched, "That sounds like you're really strong considering what she can do."

Ranma smirked, "You think? Well, I do take the art of fighting very seriously…" he grinned warmly, but more memories came to him, "Sadly, martial arts are something scary… For when Shampoo woke up after her loss, she grabbed my head and-"

"Did she kiss you?" Naruto asked, picturing the bluenette kissing the slightly less endowed redhead. A small trail of blood threatened to run down his nostrils but he held it back.

Ranma nodded solemnly, "And since then, after I got that damned Kiss of Death, she has been trying to kill me, or rather the girl me."

Naruto arched a brow, "Odd, I got a kiss after beating her."

"Wait, what?!" the pigtailed boy stared at the blond for an explanation.

"Yeah, it surprised me too." Naruto stated, "She kissed me to get us engaged or something…"

Ranma blinked, "What… kind of star were you born under?"

Naruto shrugged, "I don't know, maybe it's a twin sister of whatever star saw you brought into this world?" he mock-guessed with a smile.

Ranma was about to retort, but a loud and furious voice stopped him and Naruto on their tracks:

"Ranma Saotome! I shall have my revenge!"

The two boys turned around and cringed, "Yep. Just my luck." Ranma growled out.

**XXXXXX**

**And that's my rap!**

**Now, next chapter will finally have the clash you've all been waiting for and that has been build up to. I wish I could have build it up better, but I guessed that we'd have to address the elephant in the room sooner than later to see where Naruto and Ryoga's odd friendship of sorts can go.**

**And before any of you complains about Nabiki, remember this: she is made to bite bigger and bigger bits than she can possibly chew so it all blows on her face. Trust me, there will be a payoff for all her actions. Many of you already complained about how she's getting away with a lot, so please, please just have faith in me and trust in the me that believes in myself when I say that Naruto will keep his word about beating her at her own game.**

**If you just want to flame me for how many problems Nabiki gives, then go ahead, I made my point and will do my best for it as I stand by it until it pays off.**

**Swordslinger out!**


	7. Chapter 7

I OWN NOTHING

I've been taking some shots at the dark here and there for possible ideas in how to flesh this story given how most things happen because Ranma's the target.

**XXXXXX**

Half-hearted fight

"_On the account of my Great granddaughter being with Naruto… How long until I see more descendants?_"

Sarutobi hummed, thinking of mini-Naruto's running around, and then wincing, "_I'm not sure. What I do know is that kitsune are attracted to power and success among other things. Naruto himself desires to possess both, so it should be easy to see he would go for a strong woman. Kitsune have natural instincts in finding good, strong mates to give them children, humans or not… And since Naruto was somewhat nice to your granddaughter in his own blunt way, I'd say you have a shot of having another little Shampoo to look over. I can say truthfully that he actually respects strength in more ways than one._"

Cologne smiled and sipped her tea, "_We just got to that part of our age in which we want our kids to find some joy and start a family._"

Sarutobi sighed heavily with a sheepish smile, "_Time gets to us one way or another._"

Cologne chuckled, "_It hasn't gotten much to you. It must be nice to have your power, but I can also see why it is a burden._"

Sarutobi nodded, "_Now I am passing my teachings on Naruto, the son of that fox. Time and life work in mysterious ways._"

"_Indeed._" Then she looked up, "_Shampoo does have a liking for strength too. I just wonder what would happen if she knew this… Ranma, was that girl that defeated her._"

Sarutobi winced, "_I can only hope that whatever happens the situation is handled by people acting like rational and serene adults._"

The look they gave each other said they better bet on a bomb blowing up the school.

Then a question came, one that made both uncomfortable, "_Do you think your pupil can fight against those like his father?_"

Sarutobi nodded with determined eyes, "_I didn't train him for nothing. I want him to be safe whenever I can't be there for him. He is his mother's son, he can become something much better than his father._"

Cologne looked away, "_That Kushina… She had too much of a heart, and gave it to such a monster. At times I wonder how she could have fallen the way she did._"

Sarutobi closed his eyes, letting the smoke on his pipe fly up and slip out of a window, "_We know he tricked her, for what he did to her to have an heir… Words still fail me._"

Cologne then turned at him, "_I wonder… Whatever friends your pupil may find are bound to be strong._"

Sarutobi arched a brow, "_What is on your mind, my friend?_"

She grinned, "_It's been a while since I've seen warriors as promising as your pupil, and the teachings of my tribe need to be passed on to newer generations…_" her grin widened, "_Besides, a little competition always helps to break limits._"

Sarutobi smiled, "_I see. Well, I guess I can allow it. More tea?_"

"_Thank you kindly._"

Even as the old friends talked, at least one of the subjects of their familial affection was humming to herself as she cleaned the apartment, all the while cooking a delicious lunch box for her husband. It all happened right before she went dashing after him and found him in Nabiki's trap.

"Airen will be very happy to see Shampoo good wife, she thinks! Shampoo will learn Japanese for pillow-talk with Airen! _If only husband would see that I'm the one for him, he beat me and he is the proof that the mixing of the spirits and our proud clan is a good idea. Strong, handsome, kind on the inside, and smarter than people give him credit for. Much better than the foolish boys of the village, I think." _She spoke Japanese poorly and with an obvious accent, while her Chinese was perfect for obvious reasons. She switched languages when she wanted to hide her words or speak to herself for its own sake.

And she was so enraptured in her thoughts that when she went out the door she didn't notice what the two elders were speaking of. Oh, she did try to listen, but they made sure to speak as silent as possible. All the bluenette got was a few words of her being with the blond, and that was good for her bun-haired head.

XXXXXX

Back at the school's yard, Naruto was having the kind of feeling one would get if seeing a bomb about to tick the last two seconds of its timer. In that metaphor, Ryoga was the bomb – and not in the badass or sexy way in this situation – and the kitsune knew, he just knew that Ranma was the building filled with innocent civilians. A part of him pictured a certain fat panda as the one who planted the bomb in some stupid way all for money. Right now he was the underpaid cop with a couple of scissors for nose hair, no training at the bomb squad, and no protective gear.

"Ryoga? Did you get lost… again?" first step to disarm a bomb: see what it does and how it ticks.

Ryoga stared at the blond once Naruto jumped off the wall and the yellow clad boy jumped off the roof, surprising many students surrounding them. Ranma for his part jumped down and raised his fists, alerting Naruto that there was something wrong there. The fox's impressions were proved to be right when Ryoga raised his fists too.

"You did find him, so I got a lot to thank you for, Naruto." Ryoga said, his bad sense of direction still at work.

"Find who? Ryoga, you're not making any sense." The blond stated dully to try to take attention out of Ranma.

Ranma spoke next, "Stay back, Naruto, this shouldn't take long."

Well, it seemed like he pulled a near proverbial wire he shouldn't in the metaphorical bomb. Second step to disarm a bomb: bladder control and lots of guts, which Naruto had, "If you're going to fight, do me a favor as…" third step to defuse a bomb: know what you're doing and do it good, "Do me this favor as… friends."

Part of him cringed at mentioning the damn word that Sarutobi kept praising over and over and preaching every second he lectured him, but he endured it seeing their reactions at being called the fox's friends.

Ranma was more than puzzled, and Ryoga had to blink several times to make sure he wasn't dreaming, "What is it?" Ryoga asked with his arms crossed and a glare aimed at Ranma that the latter returned.

Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose, "I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but don't fight." He stared at the two and tried to be as honest as he could while being as proud as he was, "If I see you two fighting here I'll probably have to get caught in the mess. You two have a bad habit of pulling things into some shit hurricane of problems. I'm not taking bets. And…" he had to be honest, "I guess I would be kind of worried if I didn't have you two idiots around, you're the most fun I have in here."

"Hey!" they shouted as one, making Naruto see… how oddly alike they were.

"Are you two brothers?" he blurted out, "I mean, come on, look at you. The two of you are idiots lost in some world and are far too identical to not be twins…" Naruto then pondered something with dread, "Shit… Ranma, did your father ever…"

"Don't give me any mental images!" the two cried in unison while clutching their heads before glaring at each other yet again.

Ryoga got into his own stance and glared at Ranma, "For the curse you've given me, I shall end this hunt and exact my revenge for the misery I had to endure because of you!"

Ranma sneered, "If you want a fight, say so. Besides, we know how this will end."

Naruto could see the fuse lit up and knew it was time to follow step four: when all else fails, do the one stupid thing that is so stupid it may work, "If you two really want to fight." Naruto said as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around his waist, showing his strong arms and his muscle shirt hugging his lean and fit body, "I'm going to have to join in, since I know you two will do something you'll regret."

Ranma narrowed his eyes at Naruto but put up his fists, "Don't blame me for anything, Naruto. This is a fight between Ryoga and I, you shouldn't get involved."

Ryoga nodded, "Loath as I am to admit it, he's right. Please, don't get yourself into this."

"You two aren't going to back down, are you?" Naruto shot back, already knowing the answer, "Then that's why I have to step in."

Deciding that it was best to knock the one they hated the most senseless, both Ranma and Ryoga raced at each other to trade blows. Ryoga went at Ranma with an upper-cut aimed to his gut while Naruto dashed at him with a leg up, trying to land his chin on the ponytailed fighter's head. The pigtailed boy shot down one arm to lock down Ryoga's and lifted his other to stop Naruto's leg from connecting with his head. He had to grunt since Ryoga was insanely strong and as thickheaded and sturdy as a brick wall while Naruto was faster and stronger than he looked. But Ranma was faster than the former and more skilled than the fox.

Knowing that he used the momentum he gained to push back the two boys and glared at them, but was surprised to see Ryoga also glaring at Naruto and pull up a branch, "Sneaky…" Ryoga said before snapping the branch in half with his grip. Naruto flipped backwards and landed on a squatting position to dodge pieces of the branch that Ryoga threw at him.

"I have to take you two down somehow since you're so set in fighting." Naruto stated, "I'll give you credit, for humans you're pretty damn strong."

"Why are you so set in stopping us, then?" Ranma asked, tired of the fox's messed up logic.

Naruto stared at Ranma like he had asked if the sky was blue, "I give you two about three minutes before you destroy something in the middle of your fighting or get someone, like me, involved. That's pretty much how you do things, Ranma."

"Me?" the pigtailed boy was honestly surprised.

"Yes, you fight and get someone or something caught in the middle of it." Naruto exclaimed.

Now that he thought about it, the martial artist had to admit it, "That explains a lot."

Then the blond turned to Ryoga, "And ok, I know the whole thing with those peacocks in suits was my fault, but you are fighting Ranma. You know something will happen."

Ryoga slammed his fists together, "Yes, that I shall finally get my revenge on the man that condemned me to-"

"Who says you're winning?!" Ranma shot at the fanged fighter.

Naruto put up his fists again, groaning, "So much for the old monkey's approach." He ran to the two boys, pulled out a fishcake from his jacket, slammed it on his forehead, and jumped at them, "This will end it!"

Ranma and Ryoga prepared themselves for anything Naruto could throw at the, knowing that the impossible should be expected from a kitsune and trying to remind themselves of all defensive moves they knew. Well, the gender changing boy did, Ryoga saw Naruto strike and knew he could take at least one or two blows without much problem, not that he'd let him give any more for he wasn't dumb enough to risk that. The fanged fighter was ready to charge through and punch the blond to know the kitsune into unconsciousness and win the match in order to defeat Ranma.

When the cloud of smoke poofed into existence… they didn't expect what happened, and neither did the other witnesses. It was a statue of a tanuki, a raccoon of lore known in Japan due to them being so well-endowed that their testicles were too large, large enough to force them to carry on their backs like large sacks of potatoes or use the ball-sack to glide. They stared at it in confusion, before Naruto's foot landed on its head, the blond jumped high in the air with his right fist up, and brought it down at Ryoga. Said fanged boy growled and forced up his arms in a cross, taking the punch while he forced his knees to not bend anything more than necessary to keep his balance and absorb the force.

Midair, Naruto knew he wasn't at much of an advantage with the two skilled fighters and his attack already stopped. His punching arm felt the tension of Ryoga's limbs when the bandana wearing lad roared, pushed him back with all his might, and threw Naruto on the ground. The fox boy managed to flip and land on his feet, but had to use his left hand on the ground for extra balance.

And he grinned, and kitsune grinning meant good or bad things depending on what their intentions were. And Naruto's intentions were a wild guess to everyone else.

"Sorry, but I win." The fox boy said, putting his jacket back to how he liked it, revealing his red muscle shirt and with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

In doing so, the two other fighters noticed that from his jacket fell something yellow. It was… a thread, a yarn thread. They stared at it and only to that point did they realize that Naruto had tied up their wrists together with yarn. It would have been intimidating if it weren't, you know, yarn.

"You want to scare us with yarn?" Ranma asked with a raised eyebrow, "Sorry, but I'd have used newborn kittens."

He was being honest.

Naruto laughed, "That may look like normal yarn, but it is not." He hooked a thumb to his face, "That thread's made of my own fur. Trust me, no samurai could cut that."

Ryoga grabbed the thread, intent on ripping it with a single yank, and found that all he could do was hurt his hands in the long run, "Ow, what the?!" he yanked again, but the thread didn't stretch.

Ranma watched it and tried to untie himself, only to find a ridiculously complicated knot, "Are you kidding me?" he exclaimed and deduced that with only one hand to try to properly get the thread off his wrist he'd have too many blisters before he could do a thing.

Naruto chuckled, "See, I win. Because whether you fight or not, you won't get that thread off without help. That knot is especially designed so two hands are needed to remove it, and like I said, you won't break it." The blond swiftly jumped to a tree branch and sat on it, letting one leg swing with a cheeky smile on his face, "The way I see it, you two can keep on fighting and drag the other around, try to burn the fur which would mean you'd probably burn your hand, or… help each other out."

Ryoga's head snapped towards Ranma, the lost boy flashing his teeth in a feral display of rage, "Help!? This lying promise-breaking sonuvabitch?! Naruto, you may be my friend, but that's asking for a whole lot more than I'm willing to give!"

Ranma on the other hand gave Ryoga a mocking grin that turned equally beast-like. "Hate to agree with Piggy, but I ain't the kind of man to just forget a rivalry or back off from a fight! Naruto, let me go and I promise you I won't hold it against you!"

Naruto put a hand to his cheek and grinned like the fox he was, "And miss out on so much fun? Sorry, but you both help yourselves now and forget this fight, or you will remain tied up for a pretty long time. Trust me, I make sure my fur is extra strong to keep idiots tied up… Hah, get it?"

Ryoga seethed so hard one could almost put him in a dictionary, "NARUTO! LET! ME! GO! I OWE THIS BASTARD FOR SKIPPING OUT ON OUR FIGHT!"

Ranma turned with a look of disbelief that also mixed anger, "Wait, what?! I skipped out?! I waited for you for like three days in that abandoned lot near your house! You never showed up!"

Ryoga groaned, "I...well, I... Dammit! That doesn't matter! I got lost, alright!? It happens!"

Naruto tilted his head to the side, "How… does one get lost for three days near their home?" He could believe it from Ryoga, but at the same time it was too damn stupid to actually fully believe it.

"S-Shut up! It's a curse, alright!? A family curse! We have trouble finding our way to anywhere we want to go!"

"Some curse, huh?! You wasted my time for three days! I didn't eat, sleep, or drink anything! Hell, I couldn't even go for a piss because I needed to wait for you to make sure you'd be there!"

The blond fox sighed, "As fun as this can be hearing you discuss this is…" Naruto jumped down and gave them a larger grin, "I'll leave you to solve this on your own."

And with gales of wind accompanied by dancing leaves where he once stood, he was gone.

The two martial artists looked at each other in the eye, and the yellow thread forcing them to work together.

"So it seems you've been crippled by your own ally. How sad…" Kuno started, walking from behind the tree he had been using to hide.

"Son of a…" Ranma started and ended it with a sigh.

Perched on his classroom's window with a leg swinging back and forth from the edge, Naruto stared at the two black haired teens facing the pompadour wearing swordsman with a piece of sweet bread in his mouth. He merrily munched on it while seeing Ranma go one way only for the thread to yank him thanks to Ryoga, obviously, going the wrong way. Ranma was forced to use the momentum of the yank and bring up his right leg, striking Kuno's sword. The swing of the wooden weapon managed to right him, putting his feet firmly on the ground while his kick sent it away from his midsection.

Naruto observed the fight intently, analyzing the moves. He wasn't supposed to get in fights, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy them.

But as soon as Kuno stepped on the thread to keep Ranma from leaving, the blond grabbed a pebble from his jacket, put it on the tip of his curled index finger, on top of his thumb, and flicked it as if he were flipping a coin. The kendo captain yelped when something smacked his backside, leaving him open for Ranma to grab him by the lapels of his gi, bring him closer, and judo throw him to a tree.

Kuno groaned but wasn't down, he stood up and walked towards the younger fighter, intent on making the pigtailed lad know pain, which blinded him to the chop to the head from Ryoga.

When the captain ended face down on the floor in the bliss of unconsciousness, the two teens stared at each other with hateful glares, "We find Naruto, get this off…" Ryoga started with his wrapped limb up, "…and then I can break your face in."

Even from afar any random student could see the flames of hatred engulfing the boys, "That is if being tied to someone who knows how to move around means you actually won't get lost." Ranma shot back.

Two pebbles nailed their skulls from afar, and they turned to see the fox on his perch, "If you're done trying to compete for me let me say I won't take off your bindings, even if you somehow kick my ass." Those words were like a lightbulb flashed above his head, making him gain a devilishly foxy smile, "Actually… How's this sound? I will take the thread off… Only if you two manage to kick my ass."

Silence so thick it buzzed into everyone's ears made the school very uncomfortable after such a proposal.

The fox merely grinned and leapt high into the sky from the window, grabbed a side, and pulled himself up to the roof with his grin still there.

Ranma bared his teeth, "Are you crazy?! This is beyond ridiculous! Just set us free!"

Naruto waved off, "Either you two fight together to beat me up, or else I won't undo the knot. Or you can, you know, do so yourselves."

A certain broker watched it all with a small smile, '_Those two are too proud to ask for each other's help. But what if I felt generous enough to give them a hand?_' she made herself known, "If you three are done putting on such an amusing act, may I ask to help you out?"

Ranma narrowed his eyes, "What is it you want for this?"

Ryoga ignored the odd appearance of the brunette, "Would you really do that for us?"

She grinned and held a hand up with her index finger and thumb making a circle, "Of course, for a monetary profit of little to nothing compared to the freedom of two passionate rivals."

Naruto sat perched on the roof, a leg hanging and swinging back and forth, "Then just try to undo that knot yourself." What Naruto didn't mention about the knot was that it'd take the two fighters a lot of time to take it off one way or another.

Nabiki paused and stared at him, his eyes impassive but a grin was trying to tickle its way into showing on his face. She knew that look, it was one she had whenever she was sure she had won and there was no chance for her to fail. So she turned to see the knot… and her mind was amazed by its sheer complexity. Only hands that had gone above and beyond the way of the warrior could undo such a thing. She could only stare at it and then at her delicate hands, knowing… she was beaten.

"Wait, what are you doing?" Ranma asked as she watched Nabiki walking away at that.

Seeing Naruto's grin widen made her blood boil for half a second until she breathed in then exhaled out through her nose several times. She had learnt something from martial arts, even if her body was not capable of using them. She did learn the spiritual and mental aspects. Not the least of which was useful memory improvement techniques, patience, and meditation. Admitting to herself that she did mildly enjoy yoga, and incense burning to a point where it helped her keep a calm mind when things didn't go her way.

"That knot he did is really dangerous. If I tried to take it off by myself I would probably cut my fingers." She said with her eyes aimed at the blond.

Ryoga gasped, "Are you kidding me?!" he asked as he looked at said knot, and finally took in the twists and turns on the kitsune fur.

Biting her thumb as she walked away, the mastermind of many of Nerima's gambling prospects and similar businesses had to admit to herself, privately at least, that Naruto was a lot smarter than she thought.

'_Is he really that smart? I wonder, if I tricked him into doing an IQ test, would he rank higher than me or is he just good at using what little he has?' _She wondered, her thumb lowering from her mouth, tapping her chin in thought. Ideas and plots mixed, mixed, swirled, and mixed in her head as she thought of either exposing Naruto as a genius or gaining him as an accomplice. If he was that crazy-smart, then he'd be an invaluable asset to her.

Naruto remained on his perch, watching it all with a playful foxy grin, "I made sure you two work together. So what's it going to be? Will you two idiots bury the hatchet so I take it off, try to undo it yourselves for another mindless fight in which I will get in once again, or try to kick my ass?"

In all honesty, he wanted the latter.

In a split second, both boys lunged forward, leapt at the building and grabbed anything they could get their hands on to climb forward like savage felines wanting to devour a bird. Said bird didn't flap its wings to get out of danger, and watched as they pulled themselves up into the air above him, Ryoga with a fist pulled back and Ranma with a leg readied to slam its heel on the fox's head.

Naruto rolled back as both strikes hit where he had stood, and watched with gritted teeth how the solid concrete was crushed under the might of the only two male humans he tolerated. As for female humans he tolerated, Tennis-chan and Shampoo were in that spot. Nabiki was on the far end of that spectrum.

As pieces of debris fell down both parties landed on the roof with their own stances. Naruto swiftly pulled his golden bat from his jacket, quickly slinging it over his right shoulder after summoning the heavy club.

Ranma finally spoke, "You don't care whether we stop fighting or not, you just want to have fun."

Naruto sneered, "Of course, but don't sell me that cheap. I did want you two to stop fighting before you destroyed this place."

Ryoga narrowed his eyes at him, "You just act on a whim."

Naruto waved with a forced smile, "Hello Kettle, I'm Pot, nice to meet you." he returned to his stance, knowing he shouldn't look down on them for an instant, which amazed him, "You two just want to fight out of some stupid mistake that is, most likely, your dad's fault."

Ranma arched a brow when the golden bat was aimed at him, but then he pondered with one hand on his chin, "Ugh…" he groaned as realization hit him, "You're right, if he never took me under his wing..."

"Don't blame it on others when it's your fault I got to be thrown into the pits of utter despair!" Ryoga shouted dramatically.

Ranma turned with a glare, "Will you cut that crap?! It got annoying the first time you challenged me! And I wouldn't be surprised if whatever bad thing happened to you isn't your fault!"

Ryoga stepped forward to the pigtailed fighter, "How is it my fault?!"

Ranma slammed his forehead on the fanged boy's, the two tried to push the other back, "I bet you got yourself lost and ended up there by trying to find your own ass!"

The two jumped back when a golden blur passed by them, nearly nailing the point where their foreheads met. They turned to see the fox, before trying to kick him. Naruto swiftly brought the bat up and held it with both hands, one on the handle and the other near the tip. He groaned when the force of both kicks sent him skidding back, with his soles kicking up some dirt and dust. He was also amazed the bat didn't have any dents, making him inwardly grin at what a nice weapon it was.

"And this is the reason why I find the idea of having friends to be a joke." Naruto started, "Even if you have a goal in mind, you easily throw anything away to beat each other senseless. At least I know I'm an asshole, so I may deserve some things that may come my way. But even I got some limits."

Ryoga stubbornly lifted his arm to him, "Just undo the knot, Naruto, and don't force us to fight you!"

Naruto snapped, "Are you even listening to yourself?! You can get out if you worked together! Yet you choose the easy way out!" he grabbed his face, "Damn it, I thought you would choose the smart option! All that shit about me taking it off if you beat me was a lie, for crying out loud!"

Ranma tilted his head to the side, "Wait, you were tricking us?"

Naruto nodded, "I thought you two idiots would actually keep by your word of not wanting to fight me and take it off yourselves. Sure, if you tried to fight I'd find another way to stop you, but…" he ruffled his hair with his left hand, while his right clutched the bat tighter, "This is stupid! You're so intent on proving who has the bigger dick that you would forget that I..." he sighed, "That I am… your friend…"

Ranma widened his eyes, "Wait, what did you say? Did you actually call us your friends?"

Naruto groaned, "Shut up!" he tried to fight the heat on his cheeks, "You two are the only idiots I can actually stand, so don't make me say stupid, cheesy shit like that. At least Tennis-chan and Shampoo don't try to give me trouble!"

Ryoga flinched, "Ok, ok, I get it…" he sighed and turned to Ranma, a sneer on both their faces while sparks clashed between their eyes, "My revenge can wait…" he growled out.

Ranma felt veins bulge on his forehead, "My kicking your ass can wait too."

Naruto growled, "Can't you two do me a solid and promise to never fight while I'm around?" he asked seriously, "Just promise me on your honor, as friends."

The two flinched but, to Naruto's pleasant surprise, they turned to him with Ranma speaking first, "Fine, fine… Geesh, you're an emotional blackmailer." He said as he walked to the blond, "I give you my word."

Ryoga nodded, "Same, a fight shouldn't harm those that aren't involved in it." he extended his hand too, "I promise to follow that request."

Naruto grinned, "Thanks. Now you're bound by honor, which as martial artists means that if either of you breaks your word, you're lower than trash."

That smile was way too cheerful, "Wait, what?! Are you kidding me?!" Ranma had finally figured it out, aiming an accusatory finger at the blond, "You were fooling us once again?!"

Ryoga gasped and stepped back, "How could you?! After all you said, you-"

Naruto put his pinky finger in his ear, cleaning it, "What? Did you honestly expect me to change so quickly? I do stand Shampoo, and hey, I'll even admit Tennis-chan is someone I don't want to hurt. You two…" here he gave them a foxy grin, "I find you to be the most enjoyable pair of idiots to be around."

"Why you…" Ranma growled, "What about not wanting us to fight?"

Naruto stared back at him with a serious look in his eyes, "I wasn't lying about that. I want no trouble with you two, meaning I don't want you to fight each other. But…" he looked at them long and hard, before giving in, "Ok, the bit about having limits as an asshole is true… So how's this? I won't pull another fast one on you two after this, so long as none of you gives me a reason like now."

Ryoga sighed but extended his hand to the blond, "Fine, it's a deal."

Ranma nodded, "But if he still wants to settle things, we will do it. I am a man of the Arts, after all." He was talking about martial arts, something Naruto could respect.

"Fine, fine, just make sure you have my say so. This place doesn't need to become a crater."

"I'm not that destructive! It was the one time that I accidentally blew up a park with my fight!" Cue crickets chirping when Ryoga exclaimed that, the lost boy had exceedingly high physical strength, and it came as no surprise to either of his "friends" that he was responsible for the devastation of an entire park.

"Right, anyways you two… think you can break out of the knot by now?" Naruto personally chose to file that away into his mental lockbox, and asked them that with a curious look. Both looked at the knot, then slowly tugged on it in opposite directions, it unraveled strand by strand as they yanked up, down, around, then pulled their fists together. Soon enough they were free, and rubbing their aching wrists.

Nabiki watched from the shadows, "Impressive. I will have to be careful around him."

Naruto smiled cheekily at the two boys, "See? The power of working together and- I think I almost coughed up a lung there, ugh, that was sappy." He groaned at what he said with a mildly annoyed look.

The other two boys arched their brows, but nonetheless all three put their hands together.

"Right, so we're mates then, we can go out and drown out horrible movies with our thoughts and punch rocks or stuff. That's what human guys do with their friends and bros, right?" Naruto asked, self-awareness lessons had never quite stuck to him, Ryoga and Ranma both withholding a matching groan.

"Actually… a ridiculous movie might be just the ticket to get out some issues. You guys ever see… Critters?" Ryoga actually did watch bad movies, when he got lost half as much as he did, quite a good chunk of his wandering led him right into a movie theater with the ushers none the wiser. So he was surprisingly a rather huge movie expert, especially of terrible horror films or cult classic movies.

"The Hell is a Critters?" Naruto was tactful as ever.

To that Ryoga only gave the blond kitsune a huge grin, "C'mon, we'll have some cheese burgers while we watch it."

XXXXXXX

Meanwhile, on their way to school, the three girls that Naruto and Ranma left behind had captivated someone's attention. Or rather, Shampoo had.

Said someone sniffed something, "Oh? Hoh... That smell… That scent… That raw power…" a giggle escaped, "It's the scent of a true demon mixing their blood with a human…" a laugh had started, "Whoever was born from such an abhorrent union must be quite fun! Oh, I bet many spirits would kill to find out who has such an aroma! Hahaha…"

The figure melted into the shadows, leaving the girls unaware of the incoming dangers.

Shampoo herself felt something was off, her senses prickling as she internally debated on telling Akane and Tennis-chan. She didn't consider the first a true rival for Naruto and the second was firmly interested in the other side of the fence, so she decided that telling them wouldn't hurt her marriage to the kitsune.

She walked behind Akane and tapped her shoulder, the hot-tempered girl whirled around to face the Chinese Amazon, whose serious face made her anger bleed off, "Shampoo think that Gorilla and Small girl might watch their back soon. Danger will come, Shampoo thinks."

"You actually talk Japanese?!" The tennis player asked, feeling her days as an interpreter gone made her a bit sad… she liked helping Naruto.

The bluenette winked, "Japanese hard, Shampoo prefer Chinese. But for Airen, Shampoo learn fast!"

The two dark haired girls shared a thought, '_This girl is so determined she's actually scary._'

The youngest Tendo looked confused, while the much smaller girl only tilted her head to the side in confused response, Shampoo held up both her hands to show her sincerity as she smiled, "No reason to thank Shampoo, she just think that Japanese girls need all help they can get,_ foolish girls will die if they fight for husband anyway,_ aiyah! Must see Airen, and warn him too! Shampoo say bye-bye now!"

With that she leaped off into the skyline, disappearing like an arrow shot from a bow, an apt description for the strong-willed woman.

Blinking slowly, Akane could only wonder aloud, with some sense of worry, "What kind of threat could possibly be after us…?"

Tennis-chan gulped, "I don't think you'd like to know… _Especially after what she declared to any woman after her husband._"

Akane arched a brow, "Uh… Ok, can I get a translation?"

The petite girl fretted, "Ah… Oh… Nothing important, just… girly stuff… hahaha… Well, got to go!"

Akane sighed, "Why do I feel like things will get weird?" She looked up and corrected herself, "Actually, things have always been weird here at Nerima. Maybe Ranma and Naruto just bring out the weirdest side of it."

She didn't know how right she was, nor did she know how much weirder and far more dangerous things would become sooner than she would like.

**XXXXXX**

**And that's my rap!**

**Anyway, I know many of you would have wanted a three man melee with all sides trying to beat each other's face in, but let's remember one important factor on Naruto: he can fight smart. With that I mean that some of his victories come more out of his wit than his stupid bravery. Fooling Zabuza into freeing Kakashi, the ways he managed to find openings around Neji's Byakugan while finding ways to hide in front of him, and he even managed to find out how to use the resurrected Raikage's super broken OP lightning techniques against him by logic, guts and a lot of wit.**

**In short, he will fight like what he is, a fox: cunning and also savage.**

**And before you ask, yes, Naruto will have to face new enemies. Who are they? Well, considering the Ranma-verse has a very limited plot consisting mostly on Akane being in danger or any of his rivals trying to shit on the bowl of cereal that is his life, I pondered on a way to mix it up by forcing our three heroes (Naruto, Ranma and Ryoga) to face spirits.**

_Beta's (The Lord of Page) personal Notes: The big name villains of Ranma were kind of just thrown in there at points and made Ranma's life needlessly complicated. Herb and Saffron QED, both were hilariously OP to the point that they could've soloed most of their universe and Ranma only won by virtue of Deus Ex Machina and quick thinking. So he's not wrong with his thoughts._

**These spirits are basically redesigns of the Naruto-verse characters with far more malicious intents and far less convoluted backstories. And don't worry, I have things planned out. I decided to go through with this because, in all honesty, it sounded like a lot of fun.**

**And... let's just say Nabiki will end seeing she is not as smart as she thinks she is when shit hits the fan.**

**As my final side note, yes, Ranma and Ryoga are now forced to work together after Naruto forced them to bury the hatchet.**

**Swordslinger out!**


End file.
